


When two broken halves become whole, DirectorLCorp

by Tukma



Series: AgentCorp fics - fluff and angst [3]
Category: AgentCorp - Fandom, Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Dates, Bad Parent Lillian Luthor, Binge Drinking, Dating, Divorce, Emotional, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, Gay Parents, Hurt Alex Danvers, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lesbian Lena Luthor, Lillian Luthor Being an Asshole, Marriage Proposal, Mind Manipulation, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Parent-Child Relationship, Protective Alex Danvers, Protective Kara Danvers, Protective Lena Luthor, Recovering Alcoholic, References to Depression, Sad Lena Luthor, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Xenophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:41:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 86,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22258879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tukma/pseuds/Tukma
Summary: This story is set 6 years after Alex and Lena get together, they have gotten married, Alex has quit drinking and together they worked on a child matrix.  Lena used DNA stripping to clear the sperm of the male DNA so that Alex's DNA could be implanted into the sperm and combined with Lena's egg.  the baby was Carried by Alex and Isabella Luthor-Danvers was the gift they created.they brought a family brownstone, with a big back yard, fenced in and safe for isabella to play, Eliza, kara, Nia, Brainy and even Lillian are besotted with little Isabella.  Isabella is now 3 and after some attacks on LCorp and Alex being in danger, Isabella began to worry about her Mom's, causing fights between the two love birds.This story starts after they have seperated, they have moved out of the brownstone now vacant, Lena is back in her penthouse and Alex is back home in her loft.
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Eliza Danvers, Alex Danvers & Kara Danvers, Alex Danvers&Lena Luthor&Isabella Luthor-Danvers, Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor, Eliza Danvers & Kara Danvers, Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, agentcorp - Relationship, directorcorp - Relationship
Series: AgentCorp fics - fluff and angst [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1637209
Comments: 72
Kudos: 110





	1. The first day of a bad week…….

**Author's Note:**

> It has been a while since I have posted and to my regulars I am sorry about the late work, it wasnt posible to complete it so it was taken down.
> 
> This is a new Fic AgentCorp, I needed to workon my desire to write and Supercorp is currently on the back burner, but i am loving AgentCorp.
> 
> I am writing with a partner we have a number of Chapters done, but I will be posting every couple of weeks.

Alex had been stressing so easily, it was all part of making Isabella go through these two homes bullshit. Something that Alex never thought would happen when Lena and her got together. It was crazy to think of. To love Lena so much and so tenderly and be right here with her. It was everything she didn’t know that she needed and wanted so badly. However this was happening. Losing her marbles a little at a time she may have yelled at Isabella more times today then she ever had. Blame that on nerves of not having Isabella to come home to everyday nor even Lena. Lena who Alex believed to be her one true love, so how did all this happen?.

Out of the blue Isabella had finally gone back to her room after being yelled at once again when Alex turned to her sister. 

“It’s all just a bitch of Shit, Kara. It’s going to come to the point where I’m going to fuck it all up and Lena.. that beautiful soul isn’t going to play fair and she will take everything. Every damn thing that matters in my life. My child. My Isabella. How can I live without my child?” 

There it was, how fearful Alex truly was that Lena wouldn’t play fair in this whole custody of their daughter. Alex knew that the moment that she told Lena she wouldn’t change her job that she loved, it would cause Lena to act out in ways, but this she couldn’t predict. 

Kara had been there the whole time, Alex was her sister and Lena her best friend she had known them both first, they met for the first official time at her apartment, it was that day when Lena walked in and she watched as her step faltered and her face changed, her words stopped and her heart rate increased, that was the moment Kara knew that Lena liked Alex. Alex had not been quite so enamored with Lena but then she was still living in denial at that time. It was later after Lena had given up hope that there was a chance, that Kara had noticed the tell tale signs that Alex liked Lena, it had been longer before she would admit it to herself let alone Kara. the time in the middle was kara trying to prove to everyone that Lena was a good person, then it happened, the spark, that moment when they both felt it, it was that moment when Lena was unconscious in her office and Alex found her, Alex told me how their eyes had met and how the iridescent pools of jade and emerald had seemed to call to her.

“Alex, I--I am not going back to that, I am not going to try to prove to you again that Lena is a good person, I am not going to tell you this, b--because you just told me, her beautiful soul, that is Lena, the most beautiful soul, she loves y--you so much Alex, she is breaking just as much as you…………”

Kara whispered softly hoping Alex wouldn't hear it “but she is just as stubborn as you are” moving closer to her sister and pulling her into a hug holding her close as Alex had done for her so many times Kara smiled softly. “I have got you this time Alex, take a walk, get isabella ice cream, cool off, she is always going to be your daughter, Lena would never take her”

It was a dark and cold rainy night, the sun had been down for two hours. Two long hours of the one and only Alex Danvers strolling through the streets of the city, alone and cold in a bad combination. It was of course Alex’s day with their daughter but the thing is Alex was starting to get depressed because all she wanted all her life since she could remember was to be a mother and it felt like that was being ripped from her. Like now she could only be part time mother. She wanted Isabella to feel loved and cherished always, after all she was their daughter. However the thing is simple. Kara had sent Alex away because she knew her sister and she knew that she needed to be away from her child and not cause any more harm. Sending her away for ice cream was supposed to be such a simple task. Not a two hour and counting walk without any ice cream. Once to the apartment she looked down at her empty hands and cursed herself turning back around and heading to the store. She needed at least two different kinds of ice cream. Walking back into the busy streets, she couldn’t help but to wonder. Let her mind drift off to Lena. All parts of Lena, were the ones she loved the most. 

The thing was Alex and Lena were together for a total of six years. It was not always easy but it wasn’t the hardest bit either. The fights in the beginning of the relationship were not even worth mentioning because now looking back she would take those fights a thousand times over if it would stop what was happening now. The divorce was simply new, rather six months ago still the pain of going through with this hurt like a knife. Not a little one at all. Rather a big one, slicing over her heart like a thousand cuts. It was one of those things that she couldn’t explain and no one would truly understand it until it happened to them. It broke her, she never thought that they would come this far, to the end of them. She felt ill thinking of how they tore Isabella from her home. Yes, that’s right, she didn’t say a happy home because at the time it was far from a happy home. Not with Lena and Alex always fighting. 

Lena was in LCorp, she was always in LCorp, it was like the last six years had not happened, like there was never a home, never a house that contained laughter nor love, never a place where her and Isabella was safe from the cruelty of the world that still hated her because of her damn name. She had thought it was the best thing that with her love by her side she could finally show that Luthors were not evil and to be feared. 

No here she was alone in LCorp like it never happened, the only thing that showed her that her and Alex had been real was Isabella, who wasn’t here, because it wasn’t her night, because instead of rushing out on time to her happy family, Lena would leave LCorp to her old stale penthouse and be alone until tomorrow when she would get her daughter back, and try to avoid any further arguments with Alex, each one tore at her heart and soul leaving her more and more numb the only thing that pulled her out was Isabella. Tonight a penthouse and scotch.

It was always the small things that turned into bigger things, the worst one of all. The director of the DEO. Lena thought that Alex should find a job less dangerous because she nearly died so many times within the amount of a few months. Isabella had started to get worried that one day Alex wouldn’t be so lucky. Which she spoke aloud to Lena about. When Alex heard about how her daughter felt about her job it tore her apart because all she wanted to do was be a good mother. However she felt like doing this was making a choice not to love Isabella as much as Lena did. It was not a pretty sight. To feel like she was losing a game with Lena to be the best mother. For a split second she did think of the security option but the thing was, Alex knew she wouldn’t be happy doing that. Not at all . So she decided to just keep her job and do what makes her happy because she didn’t want to be miserable. It had nothing to do with Lena always being in trouble and Alex wanting you save her. Okay, maybe it did have something to do with that.. a lot. No matter if they weren’t together now Alex would do anything within her power to make sure that Lena was safe. Even if it meant denying or letting others take credit for how she saved her. No Lena could never know how much she still loved her. 

The small things niggled at Lena and Alex, they were a lot alike but they were nothing in comparrison to the fights over Alex’s job, Lena knew that with all the assassination attempts and disasters that befell the city, that isabella having one parent caught up in the mess was bad enough but two was too much for the little one. Lena had pleaded with Alex to do something different to work somewhere else, she had even suggested funding a security firm that Alex could head up and be taken off the front lines. In secret she had even though about stepping down as the public figure of LCorp and maybe just working in a lab, but she wouldn't make the sacrifice without knowing that it would mean they were both safe. When Isabella had come to her crying after seeing her mother hurt on the news Lena knew that things would blow up, she was hoping that it would be no worse than finding out Kara was supergirl, that was an unbearable six months, with no best friend and missing the love of her life. 

In truth how Alex felt about Lena couldn’t ever be said aloud. She didn’t want to admit it to a single soul. The thought of someone seeing just how badly this divorce was hitting her was just not right. Which is why she acted fine most of the time. God, how she hated each and every part of it. In truth, Alex was still madly in love with Lena and wanted to believe the good in Lena even when they were going through such a sticky situation. There was always going to be so much love held between the two of them. They both couldn’t admit that. Stubborn. That is what Alex was. Alex often thought of the time that she took Lena out for a romantic night after their daughter turned one because of the stress she was under. Alex missed doing romantic things for Lena the most like rubbing her shoulders or making her a hot bath when she has had a long stressful day at work. Those are the things that hurt. Not having Lena to share her life with anymore. Alex wasn’t used to having that and she got so used to it. Now here she was and she was back to just having Kara to lean on. 

They had come back stronger, alex being more open letting lena in finally to the depths of her feelings and emotions, and instead of going to Kara, Lena had done the same, Alex became the person she told everything to. This time however, this time Alex and her had fought and started proceedings, the day Lena had screamed at Alex, that she may as well be a single parent now, as she was not willing to be a widow, that day, the day she lost her composure for a moment, she had not expected Alex to leave. She shut down and stopped talking, Lena knew that she was responsible and couldn't work her way back to her love. Lena could have pushed through a divorce, it could have been completed in weeks, but she didn't want there to be an end, she didn't want to have to go back to that life, to have a penthouse and half of her daughter. She wanted to be back in their brownstone, to be watching Alex running around in the backyard with their daughter as she cooked. She wanted a reason to come home, more than anything, she was still so in love with her red headed beauty that she couldn't stand the thought of it being over, and having to have that civil hand over, the mediated discussions with Kara there to decide things about their daughter, she just wanted hot coco and cuddles with her two girls on the couch. As a tear fell from Lena’s eye, the rest unleashed, she was interrupted by the notification that her car was ready to collect her. “Thank you, please inform Frank I will be right down”

It was always built into Alex without her knowing it, knowing how she was feeling. When she felt sad and unwanted and untethered to say the least she always ended up at LCorp and seeing Lena looking so thin and unhappy it tore Alex in pieces, knowing for certain that all this was because of her. Alex didn’t want to be the reason that Lena let herself go and she would do whatever it took to make sure that Kara was there with her. Alex knew that she needed Kara as well but truth be told she knew Lena would need her more. After all, Alex had Brainy, Nia, and if she was willing to risk anything Winn. Oh how she missed Winn. He was like a brother to her and not having him here was tearing her in pieces especially at this time when she needed him the most. 

When she looked up and saw Frank and how close she had been to Lena her heart sank. She couldn’t help but to walk over to Frank. 

“Frank, make sure that you take her home. No matter how much she tries to get you to go for a ride just take her home. There’s something going on the way she normally likes to go. Don’t tell her that you have seen me or that I have been here.” 

With that she put her hoodie up hoping not to be spotted by Lena because in truth she didn’t know if she could take seeing her. Her heart would break into a million pieces knowing that the only person that she wanted to talk too she couldn’t. They both weren’t in the right mind frame to be friends with each other yet. Alex would still always fall madly deeply in love with Lena. So maybe being friends for them was never on the horizon. 

Collecting her bag the folders that she would continue working on and her coat Lena walked out of her office and over to the Elevator, her assistant long gone, for once she had listened to Lena that there was no need for her to stay so late. The elevator excruciatingly slow this evening, the patience that Lena had developed being a Mom, had left her today, between the board meetings and knowing that they were once again trying to use her personal life as leverage to get her out. On top of that, one of her private projects had blown up and she couldn’t work out why, she needed a clear head something that had been in short supply. Eventually the elevator opened and she walked passed security with a nod, he wished her a good night, which in a rare moment of rudeness was ignored by Lena in her hurry to get to the car. She slid into the car and the door was closed, huddled close to the window, her forlorn look not visible through the tinted glass, however Alex had been, she turned her back, Lena had hoped that she had come to talk to call her back to the family to hold her again. The hope in her hollow heart made her cry as Alex had turned away, the tears reflected in the tinted glass Lena wiped them away. 

“Shall I take you home Mrs Luthor-Danvers? Are you ok?” Frank always tried not to interfere but he had developed a level of care for his employer and he could see the tear that she had tried to wipe away.

Lena smiled at Frank he was loyal and had been with her through a lot they often talked on longer drives and she had come to know all about his family and he knew about hers. He wasn't a friend but a confidant at times, he didn't judge her but tonight she was not in the mood to talk, she just wanted to get to the penthouse and drink until the pain went away.

“I am alright Frank please do not be concerned it was just a long day, please take me to the Penthouse” Lena was polite but sounded a little exasperated, the day taking its toll on her normal professional stoic facade.

Frank went to open his mouth and say something but hearing the tone in her voice he decided better of it. He rolled up the partition to give her some privacy and pulled out into the traffic heading to the penthouse.

Alex couldn’t believe just how unhealthy that Lena looked. Without much thought of it she headed back to the store stopping at Lena’s favorite take away place, she ordered her favorites. Surely, she would send them with Kara when she sent her to see Lena. Just because Alex couldn’t be there for Lena didn’t necessarily mean that Kara couldn’t be there for her. She knew that Kara was torn that Lena was her best friend and she was her sister, she was trying to be loyal but Alex would insist, even though she was clearly not having a good day, Lena needed her now.

Now finally heading home with the take out in hand and ice cream in her other hand for her and Isabella it took another ten minutes before she finally got home. She knew Lena and she knew Lena would possibly be drunk by the time that Kara got to her. 

Finally walking through the doors of her apartment she spotted Kara at the couch, placing her bags on the kitchen counter and then walking into the living room area. 

“Kara listen to me and listen good my dear sister. Lena has not been eating nor taking care of herself and I can’t bare the thought of something happening to the one person in this world that I love more than anything. So I need you to go to her and be there for her. I need her to know that someone is in her corner. Even if she doesn’t realize it is me looking after her. Just pretend it was you that went to her favorite take out and is looking after her. I can’t bare the thought of losing the mother of my child, my wife.. or rather my ex wife but nonetheless I will always love her. Please go to her.” 

Kara smiled at her sister, it was the first time she had spoken about how much she loved Lena still and she couldn’t help but smile, it was completely involuntary and she felt the warmth in their heart. She was torn and she found it hard always wanting to do what was right was difficult especially now, not only was lena her friend but she thought of her as a sister.

She was stuck in a classically defined ethical conundrum and here was Alex giving her an easy way out, where she could see Lena, however she was still worried Alex was having a bad day, and it was showing even with Isabella.

“Alex are you sure that’s what you want, I do like to check on Lena especially on days you have Isabella, partly, well because I don’t want to take what little time you have with h—her which breaks my heart but also, well also because I know how much Lena struggles, but are you sure you don’t need me?”

Kara bit her lip and toed the floor not quiet looking at Alex but trying to see if there was any hesitation in her.

Alex listened softly to Kara. The thing was simple Kara was one of the two people who knew her more than anything. And she would never allow her bad days to come between two people that meant the most to her. 

“I’m sure, Kara. She needs her food and Kara she also needs someone to look after her and it can’t be me. I want it to be someone I trust. Isabella needs both her moms around and I can’t stand the thought of her not being around for Isabella when Isabella doesn’t want me. Please Kara, go make sure the other half of my heart is okay. You need to be there for her more than me. We are everything good she has. I have Nia and Brainy and even Winn if I’m feeling adventurous. So please go to her.”

“Ok, I um, I’ll head off now then. Shall I um, and y-you want me to tell her you got the food??”

Kara was hoping that the slight softening would give her a chance to open the door to some more honest conversations between Alex and Lena, Kara could see how this was killing them both and hated that they were so stubborn.

“No please, don’t tell her it’s from me. If she knew that, she would know I saw her and chose not to talk to her. She would refuse to eat it if it were from me.” 

“Oh, um ok”. Kara Hugs Alex and headed to the window with the take out, softly lifting off from the balcony Kara zeroed in on Lena, she was at the penthouse, and whatever was happening she was not happy.

Once Kara had left the house to go talk to Lena. Alex walked upstairs to find her daughter. 

“Izzy? Do you want to come downstairs and have ice cream with me and maybe watch a movie. I’m sorry for leaving. I promise I’ll be better at this soon. Come on let’s go play my love.” 

With that Alex couldn’t help but smile as she licked her lips as she walked out to the kitchen to get the bowls of ice cream ready for the two of them. 

Lena arrived at the penthouse and slipped out of the car, thanked and dismissed frank for the evening before heading in, she didn't even see her until it was too late. Lillian stood in the lobby of the building, this was not a sight that she wanted to see, the woman had been trying in her own way, and by that she had stopped actively trying to kill her, and had even brought a gift or two for isabella, all educational and trying to push her toward science. This however had not tempered her dulcet tones or the way every word appeared to be dripping in sarcasm and disdain. This was not what Lena wanted right now, there was scotch with her name on it in that penthouse and after the obstacles that have been in her path all day this was the final straw.

Isabella peered around the corner at her mommy and watched as she got the ice cream ready. 

“I love you so much. Now let’s eat this ice cream and pick a movie shall we?” 

On hearing her mommy’s special voice just for her she went running in and wrapped her arms around Alex’s legs. “Mommy, mommy, mommy, are you ok, Aunty Kar Kar said you was just going for a minute, but you been gone awful long time”

Isabella eyed the ice cream and grinned a wide toothy grin. She could see her mommy had got her favourite flavor.

“Mommy, Aunty Kar Kar said not to but I am not to keep secrets right, always tell Mommy or Mamma”

Giggling and making a flying motion Isabella mimicked going flying with supergirl.

“Aunty Kar Kar she fly me, she fly me over the park”

Alex couldn’t help but listen to her little daughter talk about everything and anything. It was moments like this she cherished the most. Unlike all the others she was the most proudest of becoming a mother. 

“I’m fine, you see my sweet little princess. I just got side tracked at the store. This is why mamma always goes shopping.” 

With that Alex started tickling Isabella and pulling her in close to kiss the top of her head. 

“Why are you here, Mother?” Lena’s voice betraying her as she was unable to keep it as strong as she wanted it instead she just sounded tired and somewhat defeated.

Lillian could not help but see how torn up her daughter looked. She always did warn Lena about those Danvers sisters and now maybe Lena would see that and not take it easy on Alex and keep Isabella right where she was meant to be. 

“Oh my sweet child, why don’t you just invite me up to your penthouse and then we can talk about why I am after all here to see you. Wouldn’t you like to know what brings me here to see you? After all, no one thinks that I can’t change..” 

A smirk now playing on Lillian’s face because she would indeed influence Lena to take everything from Alex just to spite her. After all she knew the right cards to play here. How to use them against Lena to scare her into taking what was rightfully hers. 

“I just want to help Lena and I can’t possibly do that from your lobby.” Lillian raised one perfect brow after all where do you think Lena learned it from. “Oh come on now, my dear Lena, I have taught you better manners than this, proper etiquette states you should invite a guest in.” Lillian sighed as she crossed her arms. “I am your mother Lena, am I not always welcome here?” 

Lena looked at her mother she was in her thirties now but this woman, this supposed caregiver was able to reduce her to a cowering thirteen year old even in the lobby of her own home, how was this possible?. The way she reminded her of her manners and proper etiquette drove Lena crazy, Lena’s manners were impeccable on most days, although today they were wearing thin, and etiquette was the richest, most influential way to get invited into places, where the person they were imposing themselves on didnt want them. This was definitely the case in this scenario, Lillian knew that without an appointment and a significant amount of preparation on Lena’s side she had no desire to invite her in, invitations into her space were reserved for people she actually likes, and that number was dwindling. Not wanting to do whatever this was in the Lobby of the building Lena relented.

“Of course Mother, follow me” the tone was almost sickly sweet and with as much sarcasm as she could muster, Lena was not prepared emotionally or mentally for any form of discussion with Lillian.

“Your aunt Kara did what with you?!” It came out in a harsher tone than she meant, but now her heart was beating fast and before she knew what was happening her phone was out of her pocket and she found Lena’s name. 

Lena my love: “You need to have a talk with my sister because if I do, it won’t be so kind. She took our three year old flying over the fucking park, Lena. This is not okay. I’ll see you tomorrow at ten in the morning for our switch. Thank you for talking with Kara.” 

Alex groaned as she put her phone back into the pocket of her pants. 

Once they were up to the penthouse with the door locked Lillian smirked as she crossed her arms raising an eyebrow at Lena. 

“You have not offered me a drink yet and that is not the proper etiquette for a guest.” 

As she looked Lena up and down she internally moaned about the appearance before she couldn’t help to speak it out loud. 

“You should not let any of the Danver sisters make you feel this way. In the words of Elenor Roosevelt, No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, my dear. You should always take care of yourself. Not for yourself but for Isabella who will surely not want to be left alone with Alex or the blonde bimbo. That is what will happen my dear if you don’t care for yourself. So you Lena, need to start showing them that no one can tear you down. I have taught you better than this. Now as long as you are losing weight the healthy way congratulations are in order for no longer allowing Alex to control what you eat.” 

Lillian finally took a deep breath, she was more interested in Isabella because she hoped Isabella would pick up where her and Lex left off and be the one Luthor that would destroy them. 

“Now how is that sweet grandchild of mine coping with this? Surely you have told her that she has limited days left with Alex before she never sees her again.” 

Lena had walked over to the bar to make a drink for her Mother it was clear that she was not planning on vacating her penthouse any time soon and that she was stuck with her for at least one drink. Receiving the text didn’t help, she now needed to speak to Kara Sending off a quick text while listening to her mother. On hearing what her mother was saying her heart sped up, she was always tearing Alex down and Kara, if it wasn’t for them she would have been dead many times over and at the hands of her beloved mother most likely.

“So Isabella.. why did she take you flying? when did she do this? Have you decided on a movie yet?” 

Isabella flinched at the tone and her bottom lip started to quiver, she looked up at her mommy with her big Heterochromic eyes, one a perfect hazel the other an emerald green, both Lena and Alex reflected in one look.

“Mommy I was sad you were angry and gone and I thought you left and were not coming back, Aunty Kar Kar fly me to see you”

Mommy: I haven’t seen Kara, today but I will be sure to speak to her about that, I mean she needs to be more careful, if someone gets a photo there will be pandemonium. I can’t deal with this right now my mother is here but I will call Kara. Kiss Isabella for me.

Heart rate accelerating and hand shaking Lena tried to compose herself, she had had enough, the day had dragged on and on, she knew that she couldn’t argue, that righteous indignation or shouting wouldn’t work, the only thing she had left was to play along and get her out.

“Mother you taught me better than to show my hand before it was time to play it, no one will know anything until I chose it, I am in control as always, I am Lena Luthor”

Lena moves over to where her mother was standing she had managed to keep her voice steady, and her hands from shaking as she spoke and handed the drink over.

“Now Mother it is late, the board is acting up, and I have work to finish, your granddaughter is with me tomorrow and I don’t want to work or have tiredness ruining my time with her”

Kara had flown over to the penthouse and she was hovering out of sight, hearing Lillian’s voice she didn’t enter the area but just waited, trying not to eavesdrop but with Lena’s heart so frantic she was unable to avoid it. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, there was no way lena meant this right?

Lillian couldn’t help but to finish off her drink and put it down on the coaster. 

“That is very well true, my dear. I’m impressed when you pay attention and it shows. Never show your cards to soon. Now if you don’t mind I’m going to go as well, so you can do everything with Isabella you wish too. Maybe even bring her around to see me.” 

Lena raised a brow and looked at Lillian quisically that had been all too easy but it did appear as if she was Leaving, and oddly her lie appeared to gain something that the truth never could, praise from her mother.

“Thank you Mother, I am glad that you understand what with Kara being able to literally take my daughter anywhere I have to be smart, and of course you can see Isabella soon, after all she is a Luthor”

The confirmation that her mother was getting her way seemed to be enough to spur her on and with that Lillian walked out the door and down to finally figure out how she can expose who Kara Danvers truly was, because without much evidence she knew it wouldn’t go down so easily. 

Kara couldn't believe what she was hearing, Lena was planning on taking Izzy from Alex, how could she do that, they had worked so hard all three of them to get the matrix working so that they could create Izzy from both Lena and Alex and now she was going to take Alex’s daughter from her. This was going to kill Alex and the thought that Kara herself would take Izzy away from her, Kara would never do this, oh how she wished she had not been listening in. for years her sister had warned her of boundaries and eavesdropping and now it was making her hear the worst in her friend, if that was what Lena was. Lillian was leaving and Lena was distracted, she placed the food on the balcony and flew away without speaking to Lena, she needed to get to Alex.

Turning back from the door Lena was sure that she saw the supers cape, and sure enough there was food on the balcony, it appeared that neither Danvers sister wanted to speak to her today.


	2. Lost faith…...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Lena prepare for the exchange of Isabella, neither is feeling great, Alex needs to talk to her about what Kara said, although she defended her she needs to air it. Lena is hungover and feeling very rough and dreading seeing Alex especally after not not only Alex but Kara had left without speaking to her. she feels alone but at least she gets Isabella today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, we have more chapers written, they are in for correction, however my co writer and the Beta have busy lives and commitments, we are going to aim to post every two weeks, and there are 15 chapter so far that are outlined or written so please bare with us.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always aprechiated, tell us what you think and what you want for our couple.

Kara had been flying around for a couple of hours, she had no idea of what to do, she was not sure if she should go back to Lena or go to Alex. She stopped a few muggings and a carjacking but that didn't help. She found herself circling back to Lena’s Penthouse thinking about talking to her friend, hoping that she was wrong that she had heard wrong, after all that was the motto of the house of El, hope. Hovering above the penthouse she looked for Lena, she was on the couch, clearly passed out the bottle of scotch on the floor, Lena’s eyes streaked with mascara, it was clear that there was going to be no talking to Lena now.

Circling the City once more just to be sure that Izzy was asleep and that Alex was okay, Kara landed on the balcony and came in through the window. She could see by popcorn and ice cream that the evening had finished well and her heart broke that she was about to do this to her sister, after all she had defended Lena earlier in the day about this very thing how could she have been so wrong.

“Alex, I--I need to talk to you, is, is Izzy asleep I don't want her to hear this”

Kara looked nervously at alex and bit her lip, she couldn't look her in the eye and was currently staring at the spot above her right shoulder.

Alex had gotten her daughter down and was watching some ID channel and cursing at it. When she heard Kara and raised her eyebrow. 

“Izzy, has been asleep for the past hour now. Is Lena worse off then I realized? I should have stayed and talked with her.” 

Alex couldn’t help it she hated the fact that it was taking Kara so fucking long to answer what was going on. Now her heart was racing, she was thinking the worst things when it came to Lena and that was something that she shouldn’t ever be thinking about. 

Kara didn't want to get it out, to say it out loud that would make it all to real and she didn't want to believe that this was happening. Lena and Alex were perfect for each other, they always had been. What was happening? had she slipped into another earth?, had Barry done something and messed with the timeline?. A sober Alex was the only good thing right now, but how long would that last with what she was about to say to her.

“Um, well… I--I didn't get to, um, I couldn't speak to her, she wasn't alone, and um, she was with her mother Alex, Lillian was talking to her, Oh Rao, I— I just don't know how to say this Alex, you were right, Lillian was trying to get Lena to work on getting Izzy off you and well….. She already is, she has a plan and she is not telling any one not even Lillian because she thinks that I will take Izzy and fly off with the both of you, with the emmitters we could be anyone I suppose and as long as I am a threat she is going to think this, I can't believe it, she is my best friend, she thinks this of me and wants to take Izzy from you.”

Kara finally burnt herself out and stopped the insanely fast paced ramble, it was a good job the kryptonian didn’t need so much oxygen as a regular person.

Alex couldn’t help but to look at Kara confused, didn’t she just say all this to Kara and yet Kara told her that none of this would happen. It was her turn to defend Lena. 

“You said that her mother was there.. that means that she could have just been saying that to get rid of Lillian. You know she’s not bad and we promised each other that we would never take Isabella from one another no matter what happened between us. That was the only way that either of us would agree to having her. She knows how badly I wanted to be a mother she wouldn’t just rip my Dream from me. I believe in her, Kara.” 

Inside of her mind she was freaking out because she did she wanted to believe the best in Lena and she wanted to believe that Lena would not do this to her, but the truth is that she was scared. This was her biggest fear because Lena was so powerful, she could rip the one thing in her life away that was never going to change but could be changing, that tore at her. Alex closed her eyes taking a deep breath. 

Kara could hear Alex heart rate increase, was she panicking about the prospect of what was said or angry with her she wasn’t sure but Alex was definitely reacting to something.

“I am her friend, and I thought she was mine, but why would she think I would do that, I don’t w-want Izzy to be away from either of you, she is the one, she is assuming I would do that she is the one who has no faith in me, it’s like when she found out, about m-me always thinking I am an arrogant kryptonian who knows best, I won’t let her take Izzy from you, if she is doing this she is on her own”

“You Kara, are supposed to believe in Lena more than me. So why are you giving up so easily on her? Why are you choosing my side when she literally has no one in her corner? Did you even stop and talk to her about this?” 

Alex couldn’t help the way that she was freaking out on Kara. Alex couldn’t help it every bone inside her body was calling her to defend Lena. Her soon to be ex-wife wasn’t bad. She was misunderstood a lot of times and no matter what, no matter how scared and hurt Alex was at hearing this, her whole world shattered. Alex hated this even more. Now it was like she didn’t even know Lena at all. How could lena want to take their daughter away from her? Was it because Alex was a bad mom? Did Lena not trust her with Isabella? Now all this was running through her head. 

Kara blushed brightly, it was true she had always been in Lena’s corner she always had her back, but not this time, not against Alex, she didn’t think she would ever be forced to choose. This was different, this wasn’t proving she wasn’t guilty of breaking metallo out of prison or poisoning children, this was taking Alex’s reason for living.

“Alex since you got together you, you have been her biggest supporter, I always saw the best in her always hoped, always believed she wasn’t that kind of Luthor, what if I am wrong Alex”

Alex shakes her head as she looked at Kara. Alex couldn’t believe that Kara would go so low to not even believe in Lena. Why was it all on Alex to believe in the good of Lena Luthor? Why couldn’t she just not? No Alex would never do that to Lena, she needed someone to be there and defend her. As this moment stood it was her. Alex would always be there even if it meant not healing properly because she was protecting Lena Luthor. 

“Kara, listen to yourself. She would never take her away from me. Even in her darkest days she wouldn’t do that to me. Me and Lena we have overcome a lot in our past. The thing however is she’s not evil and doing this would make her evil. Do I think she’s capable of doing this? No, she couldn’t do that to Isabella or me. I don’t think she wants to even be facing a divorce.” 

Alex crosses her arms, now was the time to be honest with Kara about what was going on between the two of them. 

“Kara, you pretend that there was nothing that me nor Lena didn’t keep from you about our relationship but the truth is.. We kept so much private, our battles with one another, and someone who has no idea of those battles that we faced as a married couple should not turn their backs so easily on her. Not when it was I who called for this divorce, and I who started most of the fights, and I who walked out on her because she wanted me to be safe for our daughter. You can’t just judge her without talking to her. If you haven’t asked her about any of this and just decided that she was just like her family, Kara. That does not make you any better than any other person who judges her or our daughter for having the last name Luthor.” 

With that Alex turned and walked to her room, shutting the door and getting ready for the night. If Isabella wasn’t there she would have slammed that door but instead she crawled into bed in the same clothes and let the tears wash over her face. If her biggest fear was coming true she didn’t know how to stop it. That night Alex let the tears fall and cried herself to sleep. 

Kara felt terrible she wasn’t like that she didn’t want to admit that she had just left without talking to Lena, she had always believed in Lena and Alex was right she was turning her back on her friend why, because she hurt her pride in being a good person in doing the right and just thing by suggesting Kara would take Izzy, or was it the thought of hurting Alex, which Kara could tell by the rare and heartbreaking sound of her sisters sobs, she herself had just done so.

Kara waited until Alex was sleeping before she left, she punished herself by listening to the pain she had caused, she would talk to Lena.

Lena’s alarm went off at 5am, she had no desire to get up at this hour and with a killer hangover on top she was finding it hard to make a start. Heading to the kitchen to get some advil water and some rehydration sachets. After drinking two bottles of water and getting a coffee going Lena started her day. A quick shower and sitting down in her home office with her coffee Lena went through her emails, and finished her work from the previous night so that she was back on track. Jess knew that there would be a to do list waiting and that Lena would only be taking important calls or meetings and they would need to be all electronic, it was her day with Isabella. Looking at the clock she was later than she wanted so she needed to head off to meet Alex and pick up Isabella. Heading out in her jeans and a UCLA sweatshirt hair in a messy ponytail she headed off to her car. 

Alex woke up early in the morning wiping her eyes before going to the kitchen and cooking breakfast for two of them. Her and Izzy. Once breakfast was done she walked over to Izzys room before picking out her clothes for the day something a little on the warmer side since it was supposed to be kinda chilly. If all else fails, she knew that she was a great mother. 

Alex bent down and kissed Izzy’s forehead. 

“Isabella.. it’s time to rise and shine princess. Breakfast is ready and mommy is going to eat with you. Okay? Come on.” 

Isabella heard her mommy come in but pretended to be sleeping, she knew that would mean a cuddle and a kiss, once she was roused by her mommy, Issablla watched her sit up and listened. “Eat with me mommy, I like breakfast oh, Mommy, mommy pancakes? Please”

With that Alex started to tickling Isabella laughing softly. Fuck, she was going to miss her daughter while she was at Lena’s penthouse. She wished that she could give her everything. 

“Now come on Izzy let’s get your clothes on first. Then breakfast.” 

Isabella looked up at her mommy and grinned she knew if she was a good girl she could get what she wanted but it was quicker with the big eyes and grin, that always won her mommy over.

“Ok mommy, but that means choccy chip chip and syrup like Aunt Kar Kar makes k?”

Alex hasn’t realized how much she missed breakfast mornings with both Isabella and Lena. It hit her hard every morning that it was just the two of them. Worse even on the days that it was just her. Those were the days that Alex only had a piece of toast. 

“Morning Frank, time to go get Isabella, normal place one stop for coffee, starbucks, the drive through is fine” Lena put on her best smile and tried not to show just how tired she was as Frank opened the door for her.

Frank looked at her and could easily see that she had not had a good night he thought it wouldn't be when he saw that her mother had been there, he admired the woman for her strength and her ability to keep going no matter what, she had overcome so much but this loss of Alex seemed to be something that she was losing against, he never thought that he would see the day that the great Lena Luthor would allow something to defeat her.

“Good morning Mrs Luthor-Danvers, Starbucks it is, it must be nice to be going to collect Miss Isabella, what have you got planned for today do you want me to wait while you talk to the other Mrs Luthor-Danvers to take you two to your destination?”

Lena looked at Frank and offered a kind smile, she knew that he was worried about her, she was not sure what she would be doing with Isabella today, she knew what she wouldn't be doing and that was visiting her toxic Mother, the problem was, she was actually good with her and isabella liked to see her, she always gave her something educational to play with or a trip to somewhere that she could learn. Isabella was worse than Lena ever was craving stimulation constantly and was very advanced for her age. She was a special little girl, one moment chasing Alex with a water gun then next reading or watching documentaries.

“Yes, I would like you to wait today, I think that we will probably visit the museum before returning home depending on Isabella and what she would like, I am not going into work today.” 

Once she had Isabella into her car seat safe and sound she kissed her head before getting into the driver side. Alex never broke down till afterwards. 

“So Isabella, make sure you behave for mamma okay? And if you need anything or if mamma needs anything call me. I will be there in a flash.” 

It was true, oh how Alex would be there if either one of them truly needed her. The thing was she wasn’t good with these sorts of things. She didn’t know how she was suppose to be with Lena but she knew one thing she had to have hope. 

The battle within her as she drove herself and Isabella to where she was to meet Lena at was painful because she didn’t know if she should bring up what Kara had heard or not. Some facts Alex knew was that Lena would feel betrayed that Kara didn’t believe in her no more and like she had no one to talk to. However, Alex didn’t want Lena to ever feel that way. Alex cared and loved Lena so much that this whole thing was driving her mad partly because she wanted or needed to know the truth. The other part was just to prove to Kara that Alex was indeed right. 

“Are you excited to be seeing mamma today, Princess?” Alex asked Isabella softly. 

She always tried to encourage Isabella to talk about Lena because even though they were going through a divorce she wanted to encourage her that no matter what she could talk to Alex about anything. 

The last twice without Alex being there or Kara, Lena had to put isabella into the childcare facility at LCorp, she hated doing that although it was state of the art and she had a great time, with such limited time with her Lena hated doing it. She wanted to get all the time she could but two days on two days off the days changed all the time and sometimes clearing her schedule to have two light days was not possible. She hated that this was how her life had turned out, she had once thought the worst thing would be living as Luthor, and dying alone and bitter like Lillian. The romantic Arthur Hugh Clough saying that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, clearly had never met and lost his soul mate. Lena knew for certain now that knowing what it was like to have Alex and isabella in her life as one family was the thing that was going to make it so hard to be alone, it was likely the thing that would make her bitter, there would never be anyone else in her life.

Lena was mentally trying to prepare to see Alex, it was never easy for her, seeing her love, or a shadow version of her, sometimes there were flashes of the love that she wished was still in Alex’s heart, when she looked at her like she still care for her Lena’s heart would break a little more because she knew that it was no longer true, that look betrayed her and fooled her, she was seeing what she wished was there not the reality, and after seeing her last night turning her back Lena’s heart was indeed more fragile, especially as Kara had also done the same, Lena was alone, she had no one left except Isabella, and she was only part time, this whole process was slowly killing her and she knew it. Lena looked at her watch it was already ten past, she was late for pick up, just another thing that Alex would use against her, she would be late getting to her precious job.

Alex was at the park in between the DEO and LCorp waiting for Lena. Alex’s heart was racing a mile a minute there had been so many accidents on the highway this morning what if one of them.. no she couldn’t and wouldn’t think like that. Alex got Izzy out of the car holding her close to her body as she was sleeping yet once again and pacing the little path. It’s what she did when she was anxious about something. She needed to know that Lena was okay. Wrapping her jacket up and zipping her and Isabella both in it she sat down on the bench looking out for Lena. 

Oh this damn bench why did she have to pick this one of all the benches out here. This was the one that Lena first told Alex she loved her on. Out of all the places Lena was a sucker for a romantic getaway in the park. It was simple and it was one of the best memories that Alex loved. So truth be told she had a lot of them and if you asked her what her favorite was it would always have something to do with the place that she was at, at the time, because guaranteed she could think of something special with Lena at any given moment. Here she was now lost in a moment of thinking about the past not even worrying in the slightest that she was going to be late for work. 

They pulled into starbucks and thankfully the line was short, she was picking up an iced pumpkin spiced latte and a Black coffee for herself along with a fruit smoothie for Isabella. She rounded the final corner and could see Alex pacing, she looked mad well maybe not mad, Lena looked closer before they pulled up no this isn't mad this was worse, Alex was lost in her internal world something had happened and she was spiralling, Lena knew that unless it was directly connected to Isabella she was no longer privy to this, just another thing that hurt her, not being able to smooth out the worry lines on her loves face, sharing the burdens and troubles. Also there was no way that she could ask Alex for input in the experiment that went wrong, she knew that talking it over with Alex would always help her see the problem, but that was lost too, so much of her life was wrapped up in this woman and now, she was lost without her. The car stopped and Frank opened the door for Lena and she slipped out with drinks in hand.

Alex’s heart melted at the fact that Lena got her a coffee. That is one less thing that she will have to do when she leaves here. 

“Lee, she passed out in my arms. You know she’s not the best morning person. She gets that from you.” 

So when they were together Alex tended to try to make it a little more light. 

“Is the car seat already in there if so I can put her in without waking her. If you just unzip my jacket.” 

That however was a big step for both of them, they had never been so close to each other since they decided on a divorce. 

Lena smiled the best she could she was still feeling the effects of the scotch and the unpleasant day, Alex was trying at least she was being civil. Lena raised a brow and smirked at Alex.

“Yes because you are always such a delight in the morning, until you have had your coffee you are practically Oscar the grouch, here I got this for you”

She listened to Alex and paused, that would mean that she would need to place her hands on Alex, something that she only dreamed about in secret now, getting to run her fingers through that short red hair, touch her face, cup her cheek kiss those lips, all the things that she longed for, the intimacy the casual touch that reminded her that Alex loved her and she loved Alex.

Her hands shaking slightly she focused on the zip and tried not to think about what was underneath, the soft skin, the perfect breasts sculpted abs, as her hands got to the bottom she brushed Alex hands and froze, heart racing Lena takes a breath and biting her lip she finished her task and stepped back.

“The seats in the back Alex thank you” Lena’s voice as shaky as her hands at this point.

Alex couldn’t help but smirk at Lena once she said that. 

“We all know what you are like in the mornings as well. “ 

Alex gently put Isabella into the car seat and buckled her in, checking twice to make sure she was buckled in properly. After that she shut the door. 

“Lee, may I please talk to you before you go? It’s important. Well to me it is anyways, but I also don’t want you to think I’m trying to start shit because for once I’m not.” 

Alex took a small sip of her coffee as she looked at Lena. 

That was twice now, the second use of her pet name, something was going on and Lena didn’t know what, she could only guess that the spiral she observed was connected with Isabella because that was the only time Alex talked to her and it must be bad if she was using that name. Lena swallowed thickly and looked at Alex.

“Alex I always have time to talk about our daughter, she needs us to be united so we need to always talk, I wish we could still talk about everything but I know that we are not there yet, what’s happened Alex?”

Lena tried to maintain composure but she was worried, the flying then the avoidance, did something happen to Isabella, heart racing almost as fast as her mind was spinning she waited for Alex.

Alex couldn’t help but to reach out and place her hand on Lena’s shoulder. Alex looked her in those beautiful emerald eyes. Alex always got so lost in them. 

“It’s just yesterday, Kara she was bringing you your favorite take out from your favorite place. When she heard you talking to your mother. The thing is she told me that you are going to take Isabella from me. Please don’t do that, Lee. I’ve told her that you wouldn’t do that. That I trust you. Please tell me from your own mouth Lena. Please tell me what is going on. This is something we should both be talking about.” 

Alex tried to stay in control of her emotions her heart beating so fast. She wasn’t yelling and she was trying hard not to let the tears fall from her chocolate eyes. 

Hearing the pleading from Alex not to take Isabella from her broke what was left of her heart into a million pieces. She heard little after that so caught up in her emotions and doing her best to maintain her composure. Alex thought that she would ever take her, that she would run off and leave Isabella without Alex with just her, she couldn’t wouldn’t leave her without her heart, without the best thing lena ever had.

“Firstly, Kara needs to have a little more respect and a lot more boundaries. The board is saying that I can’t fulfil my duties as a single Mother, that I am not able to run LCorp and trying to have me removed, I spent all day with them, then my experiment blew up, I didn’t leave till, well you saw me leave”

Lena’s eyes now shining with the tears threatening to fall.

“I got home and mother was there and I just wanted her to leave, you know agreeing is the only way, but I would never do that Alex”

Alex looked at Lena she didn’t realize that so much was happening in her life. They haven’t talked about these things before only keeping it about Isabella. It seem like the right thing to do. Now Alex wondered if maybe that was the wrong thing. Maybe the two of them shouldn’t have shut each other out completely but Alex couldn’t say that. 

“I know this, Lee and I defended you I don’t think you are capable of doing something so evil as to take Isabella from me. Sure, the thought was there but my mind has been in a lot of dark places lately. Mainly when I don’t have Isabella, it’s like this internal hell takes over my mind, and yet I still manage to not go out and drink. You’ve shown me that if I do that I have more of a tendency to be a drunk and that’s not something I ever want our daughter to see. I’m sorry that Kara didn’t have enough trust in you. Just please enjoy your time with Izzy and Lena she wanted your lasagna last night and we all know I suck at making it.” 

Alex took a deep gulp as a few tears sank down her flushed cheeks, and tried to wipe them away fast enough so Lena wouldn’t see but knowing that she would fail. 

Lena just nodded and turned, walking back to the car with her head racing. Had Kara told her she was drinking? was that a dig at her because she got drunk last night? Alex had lost faith in her and her ability to raise their daughter, the heart of her life, the light was gone, and now Kara too. Kara had always been the one, her conscience, the person with unwavering faith.

It had happened Lena had finally lost it all, her love her friend and not her faith in herself, because that had started with Kara and that was gone too. Lena slid into the car and looked at her daughter, her soul, would she turn her light to dark too? She had destroyed the supers hope, her loves heart and mind, the only thing she hadn’t touched was Isabella, how would she hurt her precious little one?


	3. The twist of the knife……

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its a day for Lena and Issabele and it is interrupted with calls and attacks, the only person that Lena has to Lena on is her mother, and against her better judgement she calls in her mother at her time of need.
> 
> suddenly finding herseld in an emergancy situation with Alex on her heals and on her back Lena feels like the worst mother in the world and with Lillian setting the bar she is feeling very low indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey all this is the two weekly installment. I hope your enjoying it so far.

Lena had spent the day doing everything that she could to make Isabella happy, they went to the museum and to Chucky E. Cheese, and then home to the penthouse and after a short meeting and a few emails she had cooked her dinner. Isabella was in bed after a story and a bit of singing. She had seen Kara approaching and when she got to the balcony she flipped the switch and blacked out the window. The balcony door locked for the first time ever and Lena wasn’t going to let her in.

“Go away Kara I have nothing to say to you, just leave me alone you’re no longer welcome here or at LCorp, if you weren’t so good at your job I would fire you”

Lena turned out the light and went to her bedroom it was ten o’clock and she as tired but there was so much to do for tomorrow that she had to work for a few hours. She didn’t know how long she was working but Isabella was waking her up.

The thing with Isabella is since her parents were getting a divorce there was so much change in her routine. Nothing was the same she didn’t even have the same house. 

“Mamma mamma!”

Isabella yelled loudly as tears ran down her face. Isabella would often dream about how much her parents were being pulled in different places. This dream was simple, both her parents left her. 

“Why? I am good..” 

Isabella wasn’t making much sense to be honest but it happened when a child had nightmares. 

Lena heard the cries and looked at the little one crying as she ran into the room. She heard her calling and saying she was good, why would she need to tell Lena that, it was another nightmare.

“Hey Izzy pop mamma is here it’s ok come here baby and cuddle into me it’s ok, you’re a very good girl, your my little angel, me and mommy love you so much, your such a good girl”

Lena held her and wiped away her tears as she rocked her, it was a little after three, too late to call Alex? Isabella wasn’t stopping and she decided that she needed both her mothers. She wasn’t sure she would always want to be woken so she bit her lip and hit the button on her phone for face time waiting for Alex to answer.

Alex was in a dead sleep she was wearing nothing but a white tank top that she managed to keep from Lena’s collection. When he heard the ringtone she answered hair a mess. Trying to turn on the light by her bed as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. 

“I am sorry to have woken you Alex, Isabella had a nightmare I think it would be best if she saw us both”

Lena bit her lip, she didn’t want to speak to Alex or show she wasn’t good enough but right now that was how she felt.

“Look Izzy pop, mommy is on the phone, see Mommy is here too”

Isabella smiles softly as she held onto Lena. The child hated this more than anything. She wanted to be in her own home with her parents who loved her more than anything. A broken home was now what she came from. Isabella didn’t understand any of this however. 

“I just dream you and Mommy didn’t want me no more.. like our home and each other.” 

Alex was a little upset when Lena didn’t stay on the phone but she didn’t say anything and just handed the phone to their daughter. Broken by the words that never left Lena’s mouth. Hearing how Isabella felt she couldn’t help but gasp. 

“We would never throw you away.. Me and mamma didn’t throw each other away either.” 

Lena had a fresh round of tears and she held them back always wanting to be strong for Isabella.

“Oh baby girl, we are both here, come on now we are always here when you need us, both of us, you are not going to lose us, I don’t want you to think that, we love you little one”

“Otay mamma, I not want to be sad anymore..” 

Alex looked so broken on the screen running her hand through her messy hair and she started to sing Isabella her favourite bedtime song which was are you sleeping brother John. 

Lena continues to rock her and she soon calmed after hearing Alex sing, that just made Lena feel even worse, clearly Izzy was calmer around Alex, she knew that the little one had been running her ragged all day, and it wasn’t just the hangover or lack of sleep.

“Thank you for answering Alex, Isabella is asleep again, I am sorry I woke you”

“Don’t ever be sorry for calling me. I would have done the same with you, Lena. Goodnight my love and sweet dreams.” 

The words came so easily off Alex’s lips, in the state of tiredness and wanting to just go back to sleep. 

Lena’s heart faltered and then she disconnected the call, too tempted to respond telling Alex that she loves her more than anything, carefully moving everything off the bed just holding Isabella, watching her, waiting to see if she was ok. Every time she moved or made a noise Lena’s heart jumped and she didn’t sleep any further.

In the morning she got up and showered getting dressed and heading to the kitchen to make breakfast, she decided to treat her to waffles and made sure there were a few different kinds, she never knew what Isabella would want, she felt like such a bad mom, the trade off to extra time was always a working breakfast meaning Alex prepared the food. Nothing had been good enough for Isabella she just needed a win.

Heading into the bedroom again to wake up Isabella Lena sat on the bed and smoothed her hair off her face, looking at her, she looked so much like Alex if it wasn’t for the dark hair and her mutation on her eyes like Lena, and she would have been able to say there was no Lena in her.

“Izzy pop, good morning little one it’s time for breakfast.”

Isabella looked at Lena as she crawled onto her lap nothing in this world made her happier than to have both parents with her all the time. However that wasn’t the case now. 

“So mamma, I with mamma again or mommy? Can we all do something together? Like museum or zoo.” 

Lena looked at her, once again she was failing, she couldn't stand this, and she succeeded in everything she ever tried except the two things that were most important to her, being a mother and a good wife. It was hard for Lena and she knew that with Isabella's birthday coming up her and Alex would arrange something together and Kara would be there to, oh god Kara she couldn't deal with that, that was the last straw, there was no mediator, how would her and Alex cope next time there was an argument?

“Oh I’m am sorry, sweet girl, Mommy is working today but you have me all day, we can go to the Zoo if you would like too, it would be nice to go and see the animals with mamma wouldn't it?”

“I.. happy that we together for another day! I miss having both at time.” 

Isabella looked at Lena with sad eyes that conflicted between the smiles on her face. She was happy to be with Lena but she didn’t understand why she couldn’t have both parents with her every time. 

Kara didn't go to see Alex after being sent away from Lena’s, she was ashamed of how she had been, what she had thought and after Alex had told Kara about what was going on she realised she had been neglecting her, she knew that she had been favouring Alex a little, but Alex well she didn't talk and she was worried she would need her and she forgot that Lena had no one. She was not feeling very super right now, she would need to come clean to Alex, Lena was on her own at the moment and Kara would need to rectify this situation. She landed at the DEO to find her sister in her office. Sheepishly Kara enters and looks at her sister.

“Hey Alex, I, um, how are you today? I have finished patrolling and I am going to head to Catco I will be on coms if you need me, ok…….”

Kara’s voice wavered as she spoke she thought that it was best that she gets it over with in a rush she blurted out.

“Oh and I went over to see Lena last night I circled until Izzy was in bed and when I was sure that she was asleep I approached the balcony door, well it was locked I guess that Lena found the key, she had some good motivation I guess because she told me to go away and not come back and had revoked my access to the penthouse and LCorp, so I um, I can’t check in on her um, until she forgives me, I will start making recompense ok, bye”

That sweet Kryptonian was the last person that Alex wanted to see right now. Alex couldn’t help her breathing that increased with every breath. 

“Of course she didn’t want to see you, Kara. You can’t be that dense all the time. She’s hurt and upset that you of all people would think she’s evil. Me? She expects that from me considering we didn’t get on for months. You know what..” 

Alex had to take a deep breath because now that Kara was going to be Kara she wouldn’t have anyone to do these stupid errands that needed to be done. Damn it. Alex let her hand run through her hair as she tried to think of the best way to get these errands ran quickly and properly. 

Kara was taken aback by the tone of her sister, she was mad at her, Kara had broken her arm, broke the rules, destroyed the city and gone in with no back up and Alex had not been this mad at her. She gulped moving away from her, Alex couldn't physically harm her but right now she was worried that she would hurt herself trying or call her into the kryptonite room to give her a beating, no more than she deserved she thought but didn't really want either option to happen.

“Alex I promise I will not give up, I will send recompense every day as is customary in Kryptonian custom and remind her that even though I may have wavered, she is still a good person and the best of us I promise I will sort this out”

“Of course you won’t give up because I won’t let you give up on her. I’m not trying to have a messy divorce here Kara. That means I can’t have you two hating one another that however is not okay. I will not let Isabella see that you and Lena cannot be friends. It’s already hard enough on the poor girl because I and her mother barely speak. I do not wish to add more onto the little girl.” 

Alex crosses her arms over her chest, she was beyond pissed off. Nothing else mattered to her except for protecting Lena and Isabella. Alex couldn’t remember the last time that she didn’t protect either one of them. 

Lena had managed to get Isabella to eat a little something not as much as she eats with Alex but it was something, and she was dressed and wrapped up warm ready for the Zoo. She called a car and it was on the way so her and Isabella made their way down to the car. They headed off to the zoo and sang and played games. When they reached the Zoo Isabella was so happy to be there that she was bouncing on her feet. Lena had no idea where this child got so much energy after two nights with little sleep and the emotional turmoil of the past few days she was exhausted, maybe she should have gone to a soft play for a change.

“Izzy Pop now you listen to Mamma ok, we have to wait in line to get tickets then we are going to go anywhere you like, tell me what would you like to see first, shall we go to see what time the displays are on” Isabella's hyperactivity was clearly effecting Lena she was speaking so fast.

Isabella was bouncing up and down as she pulled on her Mamma’s trousers and pointing at random things. 

“I want to see the bears and lions roar!” 

Isabella jumped in front of Lena and let out a little roar as she laughed. Her eyes darting around the zoo taking in every sight of it. 

“Can we get some cotton candy?” 

That might not have been the best choice; the girl was a very hyperactive child as it was. 

Lena had spent the morning running around the Zoo after Isabella, she wished that she had listened to Alex, she always told her that in the morning Isabella was a ball of energy, she wished she had listened and brought the sneakers. Her feet were hurting even though she had only worn little heels. She was lost without Alex, she would always have Izzy in the morning she would start work later and now Lena was all alone and she was getting everything, Alex clearly wore her out allot for time with Mamma where they would sit and learn she was focused, not this crazy ball of energy. Chasing her daughter again around the picnic tables trying to get her to sit down for just a moment so Lena could get her to drink and eat something. Lena needed a Coffee.

“Izzy Pop we are not going to miss the otters if you just sit down and have a drink and a snack, come on sweetie, you need to have something”

Alex freaked out when she heard about the attack at an LCorp facility that had Lena’s private Lab, she had mentioned the experiment that had gone wrong would she be there, and she never went running so fast to danger. Jumping on her bike as she speeds through the traffic. Once at Facility she gets out and starts to call Lena telling her she needs to allow Supergirl entrance to keep everyone safe. She didn’t want to interrupt her time with Isabella but she knew this was important. Lena had told her they were at the zoo, Alex, told her to enjoy the day she also promised to update her. However, Alex was really happy that neither Lena nor Isabella was there it meant that they were enjoying their time with one another. There wouldn’t be any distractions either. 

Lena was also alerted to the incident and informed Jess that she would need to be kept apprised of the situation would want to be informed of any inventory missing and would like to know as soon as the issue was resolved. It was a small facility and she was not planning on leaving her daughter, not after last night. She smiled at Isabella and took her hand she was finally calm enough to have something to drink and eat Lena sat her on the bench and smiled.

“Is everything alright, sweetie?” Lena noticed the furrowed brows of her daughter and asked softly.

“That was work.. and you leave all the time.. so we have to go.” 

Isabella looked down at the floor because she was sad that this fun day with her mamma was getting cut short and she hated every part of it. That was the thing it sucked for Isabella having two very successful mothers. 

“You and mommy work too much.” 

Lena smiled softly she wasn't planning on going in, she didn’t care if the board finally had the evidence that they needed to remove her from the CEO spot, Isabella was too important, she would not make the same mistakes that her mother did, that her father did. She had enough money and shares and other projects to live comfortably with her working on private projects only.

“No sweetie, we are at the Zoo, and you know what Mommy will take care of this for us she always does” Lena’s smile was easy at the bright smile of Isabella.

The first part of the mission was easily taken care of. It wasn’t all that bad but when two more hit at the same time Alex knew there was no waiting around and that’s what killed her. She felt like all this hate towards Lena had stopped. It was doing so well and now out of the blue here they were again trying to destroy her. Alex wouldn’t let that go though she would do whatever it took to defend her wife. Ex-wife no matter that cost. 

Alex sent supergirl to the second location because it needed to be secure because of all the sensitive shit there and so help Kara if she even fucked this up for Lena. Heading to the third location that’s when she sent out the text to Lena explaining what one of her facilities have been hit. It was like nothing in this universe mattered, all she needed to know was that Lena and Isabella were both safe and sound. She tried explaining to Lena in a text to just relax and spend time with Izzy because Alex would take care of the rest. Truth is told however she just didn’t want either one of the two close to this. Mainly because she didn’t know who was behind it and she still wanted Lena to be alive. 

Lena’s phone went off again, she assumed it was the update that everything was over with but it wasn't it was a second and third attack and the second was a sensitive facility. There was no way that she could not go now, she looked at Isabella her big eyes and pout it was like she already knew what was happening. Lena couldn't call Alex, she was at work and she couldn't call Kara, she would be being the superior super and she had no intention of seeing her anyway. She had no idea what to do, she had been explaining to Isabella that she had to go; she was going to take her to LCorp with her when Lillian called her.

“Mother now is really not a great time I am at the Zoo there are problems at LCorp and I am going to have to take Isabella to the childcare at LCorp, so I can sort this out, whatever it is Mother it will have to wait”

Lillian scoffed and rolled her eyes all at the same time. Lena had attitude and she knew where she got it from but that didn’t stop her from hating it all the time. 

“Oh my sweet child, I know what is going on. It’s everywhere and I was calling to tell you that I could take Isabella and finish the zoo trip or whatever she wants to do. There is no point in having her locked up at LCorp when you don’t even know what’s going on. Now will you allow me to help or not?” 

In truth, Lillian knew way too much about the attacks on LCorp she was after all the one who orchestrated these plans because she wanted to be able to get Isabella to herself. Show her the ways of how the Aliens were trying to take her parents away from her. Not only that but it was best if she found out these things before she grew too attached to Kara because then it would be hard to pull her to her side of things. Surely, Isabella was a bright young lady to be and she would be able to know that Lillian’s ways were the only ways to be. 

Lena listened to her mother, this was uncharacteristically helpful and a bit too well times, almost planned but how could she know that Lena would need help, she immediately thought that she could be behind this and scalded herself, her mother had been trying so hard, and had been so good with Isabella. She needed to give her mother a chance, but more than that if Lcorp was a target she wanted Isabella nowhere near any LCorp buildings, the final part to the decision was that Lena literally had no one else.

“Are you sure Mother? That would actually be really great, we will be at the otters, Please be quick”

“Okay Lena, I’ll be around like ten minutes. I’ll see you shortly.” 

Within moments Lillian hung up the phone and got into her car driving towards the zoo to go get her granddaughter and see Lena off. 

Kara had gone to the second facility as ordered when she arrived at the door was being blown off its hinges and the Alien was about to enter, she flies down and grabbed the first to be struck by the second and went skidding along the floor. She had not expected them to be so strong, and there were two, no three of them, Oh Rao, she thought that this one was supposed to be easy there was nothing much written about this place, that made Kara think that this was the reason she was here it was a secret place and Lena wouldn't want the government in there and that's why Alex sent her, but she was all alone. There was a fight and eventually Kara managed to defeat the three aliens and she entered the facility. All Lena’s prototypes, all the ones over the past 9 years that Kara had felt were dangerous to aliens were here. Holy Rao. She welded the door on with heat vision and scooped up the aliens.

“Alex I am done here, I have three combatants, a need for a sun bath and I have sealed the secret warehouse”

“Thank you, Supergirl. I’m on my way in. So I’ll see you in a bit. Glad you were safe out there.” 

With that Alex took one more look around. There was supposed to be another break in this third one but, however, Alex did not find a damn thing anything out of sorts. It kind of really pissed her off. Whoever called these in needed to get their story straight this all didn’t even make the slightest bit of sense. Alex then decided that it was up to her to figure out what was actually going on. Pity the soul that was fucking with her Lena because they would get a huge pissed of DEO Director throwing hands at them, no matter who it was. 

Lena had handed over Isabella to Lillian and headed off to LCorp, there was press everywhere and it took her more than ten minutes to get into the building. She headed straight up to her office and was handed her a tablet with all the information on it. They had broken into a very sensitive location but it would appear that supergirl had secured the facility while Alex had taken the less sensitive option she sighed, even now, Alex was there for her, Alex had suggested that the devices were stored just in case and as a few had already been very useful it was a good call. Lena smiled and hoped that her beautiful red headed hero would always have her back. With that there was a massive explosion.

“God what is it now, this day just needs to take a five minute recess, evacuate the building” Lena was not sure how much more she could take today.

Kara heard the explosion clear across town, she was in the DEO control room with Alex and her head sprung up, she heard the explosion and when she narrowed in she could hear Lena’s heart rate increase and she knew that Lena was there. 

“Alex, Explosion at Lcorp”

Alex was trying to keep a straight head today was not her day. Alex felt like she was going every which way all at one price saving Lena and her things. Alex looked at Brainy. 

“Is this alien related or not?”

Brainy looked at Alex as he worked his magic. 

“I can confirm with 98.6% accuracy that the explosion at LCorp, judging by the signature of the C4 used to create the small and pointless explosion, after all if it were two beams over it would have brought the entire building down, there it just…….” 

Brainy looked at Alex whose face was turning a most intriguing colour of red and the Kara who was motioning for him to speed up finished his point.

“.....never mind, I am 98.6% sure it was a human explosion”

Alex looked at Kara and shakes her head. Fuck, Alex hated not being able to be there for Lena’s company or be able to make sure that all her employees were safe because yes she knew even if Lena wouldn’t say it aloud how much she cherished and loved each and every one of them. 

“You know we can’t go to that, Kara. It’s not our jurisdiction. Besides its okay because both Izzy and Lena are not at LCorp so they are safe, Kara. They are at the Zoo having fun and enjoying their day together.” 

Kara looked at Alex, she is not sure about Izzy she had not concentrated on Izzy just Lena, out of habit she supposed. “Alex, Lena is at LCorp I can hear her there” 

Alex had got to Kara almost at super speed, Kara instinctively picked up her sister and flew out of the DEO. The DEO may not be able to go to LCorp for a civilian matter but there is nothing that is going to stop Alex from going to her wife, and Kara doesn't hesitate to take her directly there. It is absolute chaos as Kara circles the area looking for Lena and it isn't until she catches her coming out of the building, Kara lands and drops Alex to her feet so she can go, she helps with the clean up and checking staying away from Lena and giving her space.

Alex ran over to Lena and she did something out of reaction and fear of never seeing Lena again because that fear always crept in when she didn’t know she had it. The fear of losing Lena and not seeing that raven hair that almost always were tied up. The way that her emerald eyes would always find Alex and somehow show her that she cares for her. Which is why she stood there looking at Lena, her arms wrapped around her and she kissed her forehead soft and gentle like so many times before. 

“Babe, my sweet Lee, Don’t you ever come here when you are suppose to be with our daughter. Are you okay? What happened to her? Where is Izzy?” 

Alex’s arms were resting now, firmly but in a caring way on Lena’s hips, her chocolate eyes showing that of just love. Possibly if they were still together, she may have even kissed her to show her that she was happy that she was okay. 

“I’m so happy that you are okay.” 

She said those words but it never stopped Alex from looking Lena up and down checking to make sure that yes she was indeed okay. These two may have said this is what they wanted a divorce, but damn it, she needed and wanted to be able to be who she was. Alex was a protector and that’s why the director job was so important to her. She truly hoped that before it got to this point that Lena would understand that. At the moment she was very happy that she in fact was there and never gave up what she wanted to do that way she could in fact help save Lena’s places. 

Lena took a breath as she saw Alex running towards her, it was almost like the early days in their relationship with Alex always looking so concerned coming to see her when something went wrong. Her face smiled involuntarily and she couldn't help but feel that little flicker again. Alex always made her heart jump and accelerates out of control. Of course, Lena was taken aback by the kiss it was something Alex would always do it was normally followed by a long lingering chased kiss, but Lena didn’t get them anymore, she missed the few of Alex’s lips on hers and it hurt. 

Alex was concerned for Izzy too and that was just like her but did she really think that she was stupid enough to take her daughter with her? Lena knew one thing that Alex was an amazing mom, so she could forgive the question Izzy would always come first. Lena just always thought that she would be second, not any more; it would appear she didn't even count.

“Alex she isn't here, she is at the zoo, I didn't want her at any LCorp property at this time, and I mean this is the fourth attack today on one of our properties. She is with my Mother”

Alex glared at Lena whatever process thought from earlier was gone. Alex couldn’t understand any of this. Who in the right mind would even remotely allow Lillian of all fucking people to look after a child? No matter whose child it was. Oh Alex was panicking and annoyed as any right at the moment it was just a matter of what side would take over the most. 

“Really Lena? You are fucking intelligent and your mother of all people we know is with our child alone? The same woman who tried to talk you into stealing our daughter away from me! The same woman who tries to kill me every chance she gets not to mention you too!” 

Oh Alex was trying her very hardest not to yell and that seemed to be growing by the minute. Stopping to take a deep breath before she started on her rambling that maybe at one point Lena would have loved but not today. 

“You do realize that your mother is a horrible person right? That no matter what she won’t settle for anything until you and Isabella are out of my life. Even if she has to kill me to get her wish right? So are you just fucking angry with me or just negligent, Lena? Don’t just stand there say something.” 

With that Alex’s hands moved to cross over her chest area and the glare that she picked up from years of being with Lena now etched on her face. Waiting for Lena to speak up. Waiting for Lena to make the next move. 

Lena looked at Alex, she had just confirmed it, in her own words Lena was a terrible mother, negligent that’s what Alex had just called her, stupid too. Lena stood there as Alex just ranted at her glaring. The words hit her like a knife straight into the remaining hope left in her hollow broken heart, and Alex twisted it. Over and over as she continued to berate her, here with the press, her staff everyone sees just how much she had failed.

It was worse than any pain she had ever felt, the look of Alex’s face so harsh, she believed every word, she meant every word. Lena had no one else, Alex had come with a contingent of friends and family, they were all unavailable know that left Lena with Lillian. She refused to break here, the CEO facade firmly overlaying her shocked face so quick that it was not easy to catch, the smallest crack showing that her Alex would have seen but this, this was not her Alex.

“No, Alex she wouldn’t be my first choice but she is my only choice, that or here, I guess I thought the zoo was the lesser of two evils even with my mother, thank you for the evaluation of my choices and ability to care for our daughter, now if you will excuse me, I have some things to finish here and a child expecting me”

Lena turned and walked into the building shaking her head, security closing the entrance so Alex couldn’t follow.


	4. Out of the mouthes of babes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena is shaken by the responses from Alex and although she see's the care she feels like a terrible mother. followed by more upset from Izzy Lena is in a very bad place.
> 
> Alex is annoyed at the way Kara is being towards Lena and the effect that it had on the interaction. but is happy when lena calls for help.
> 
> then Izzy says something that gives Lena something to think about - followed by a past revilation that causes the darkness to take hold of Lena

Lena picked up Isabella from her Mother, her little one looked tired but happy and for the first time ever Lillian didn’t look polished and perfect, it looks like she had no more luck with the hyperactivity of Isabella any more than she did. Not that her Mother was the benchmark that she wanted in fact she tried to be anything but Lillian.

“Thank you for today Mother, I don’t think that I could have managed without you, it was not the best day for LCorp today, and you really helped me”

Lillian smirked when she saw Lena and hearing her admit to her that she was in fact thankful for her made her feel like she had Lena right where she wanted her. Destroying Lena’s perfect family would surely be easier than she originally thought it would be. 

“You are welcome and remember me for next time you need a babysitter. Isabella and I had so much fun today.” 

Lillian was so tired she did not remember her two kids ever having the energy that Isabella had. She blamed that on Alex’s DNA the part that she needed to start wiping from her. 

Lena picked up Isabella who was starting to yawn she needed a nap and some dinner. Lena held on to her little one and breathed in the scent of her. She had to give her back to Alex tomorrow and she would miss everything about her little one. It was so hard and she was starting to feel that this was hurting Isabella more than anyone and it killed her.

“Again thank you Mother, I am going to get Isabella home now she needs a nap before dinner”

Lena smiled, partly in gratitude and partly because she was relieved to see another human being was run ragged by her beautiful little girl. The fact that Lena managed to keep herself looking like a CEO and tidy at all was amazing. She said a final goodbye and took Isabella to the car and strapped her in.

Once into the car Isabella looked at Lena with a small tired grin on her face. The thing was she was so happy to see Lena and tired. Oh the little girl was very tired. 

“I’m happy you here.. I wants talk..” 

Isabella rubbed her tired little eyes the thing was she also got very upset easily when she was tired and would cry if you said the wrong thing to her. 

“mommy work with aliens, you friends with aliens, not me nuhu I don’t like them. They take you and mommy away, mommy get hurt, I want you both with me. I not want you and mommy hurt. I love you dis much. Not to worry though mad Kar Kar is an alien, still love her, she flies me . She flies so well.” 

Lena heard what her daughter said and her heart faltered, she needed to make sure that Isabella knew that just like Aunty Kara there are a lot of good aliens too. Worried that the impact of the divorce and Alex’s job was putting to much negative feelings towards aliens she couldn’t stand the thought of Isabella taking on the Luthor stance and be so xenophobic. Was Alex right, was she negligent?

“Izzy Pop, aliens are like the rest of us, some are really good, like Aunty Kara and uncle Clark, grandpa Jo’on, and Dreamer you love her, but some are angry or scared and they do things that are not so good”

Isabella listened to her talk and the people that Lena was naming really meant a lot to her. And she would give anything to talk to those people all the time. They were some of her favorite people. 

“Otay mamma I understand. love you.”

Kara helped the services sort out LCorp and tried her best not to listen to the exchange, she had learned her lesson listening in was just not a good thing to do. She couldn’t help seeing the tension and hearing the way Lena’s and Alex’s heartbeats reacted to it. She hoped to speak to lena but she was gone as soon as everything was calmed, and Alex too.

Flying back to the DEO to find her sister, she was worried about her, on the way she dropped Lena’s favourite wine and chocolates with a little note for Lena. Landing at the DEO she heard Alex before she saw her someone was getting ripped into.

“Um sorry to interrupt Director Danvers but can I have a word”. The agent threw her a grateful look before scurrying off.

Alex was exasperated and did not want to talk to Kara not at this time. All she wanted to do was be left alone to think of all the things going on in her head. To think of what she said and how she worded it to Lena. Oh her Lena was never going to forgive her that was probably true. 

“I don’t want to have a fucking converstation with you right now, Miss. Danvers. All I want to do is sit here and think about my life and how I’m going to fuck it up next. I want to sit here and think about all the ways that Lillian is going to punish me and how she is going to turn mine and Lena’s daughter against not only me but also Lena as well, but Lena won’t see it. No, not till it’s too late because she always wants to see the good in everyone. Hmm guess she picked something up from her best friend after all. My sweet princess is going to be turned into the next Lex project because Lillian needs someone to try to fulfill Lex’s shoes because God forbid she’s capable of doing it herself.” 

Alex finally takes a breath because she needed it as she runs her hands through her hair, rolling her eyes. So much for not wanting to talk to Kara. 

Kara looked at her, whatever she had said to Lena must be something that had a possible double meaning or something that could be taken badly, Alex was in full freak out and when she was like this less was definitely more, she smiled softly and placed her hand on her sister's shoulder.

“Come on Alex, Lena knows what her Mother is like, she wouldn’t allow that, and Izzy is half Lena and half you, she is smart and loves you so much that she wouldn’t be swayed by Lillian, you got this Alex your a great Mom and Izzy is an amazing little girl”

Once Alex was done taking a deep breath she stared at Kara with tears strolling down her cheeks. Alex tried to wipe them away. 

“No Kara, you see, you always think you understand. Understand me and Lena. The truth is that you know nothing of what her and I went through. You know nothing about our relationship and what she can and cannot forgive. I push way to hard instead of trying to compromise. I pushed way too much when I told her the things I did. She’s going to take it completely wrong, wrong Kara and you know what, for once I don’t blame her.” 

Alex took a deep breath as she started to move her foot around she was trying so hard not to be weak. Not to cry in front of her sister the sister that hated when anyone would cry. Truth be told though Alex’s heart was shattering. 

“I can stand here and blame a lot on Lena like the way that she doesn’t understand that this job is me and what I was meant to do. I can blame that on Lena. I can’t blame her however for how she wants to see the best in Lillian even when we all know that she’s a horrific woman and that she shouldn’t be trusted because she’s only trying to see the good in her mother. I can’t fault her for that because my sister somehow decided that everyone needs to have this opinion too. That it would make the world a better place” 

The amount of love and soul that she was putting into all her words were so sincere and rang true like the first time that she ever said those three simple words to Lena. Alex knew that if she kept this up the speech that it wouldn’t be too long till she herself was crying like a little baby that needed to be rocked back to sleep however those crying would probably have been a lot more easier to calm down then her heartbreak at the moment. It was all finally just hitting Alex about how over this truly was. She knew now more than ever that there was no way that she could get Lena back now. The thought rippled through her body. 

“See, I knew this would happen. That everything that I loved would be ripped from my cold little fucking heart. Everyone that I’ve ever fallen in love with gets tired of dealing with me because I’m so hard to love. Look, first it was Maggie, then Chelsea, and now of all people I didn’t want to lose Lena Luthor-Danvers and Isabella Luthor-Danvers because those two mean the most to me. The process of losing them is going to be an excruciating slow and painful process and it’s going to burn and probably turn my heart black. I’ll probably fall off the wagon once or twice and have no one but you there but you shouldn’t be there because you should be.. With my girls.” 

Oh how Alex needed to stop because she needed to dry her eyes. The sadness that she held so dear was apparent that yes she was so close to falling off that wagon that Lena has helped her stay on. No, Alex couldn’t do that. Not even if she truly did want to have a scotch or get so wasted at the bar tonight and be carried home by someone or have a meaningless hookup. Alex couldn’t do that because she knew that she would pay for it in the morning with Isabella. 

Kara listened and looked at her sister so softly, she could feel her pain and was worried about how this was affecting her. She could count the times on one hand that she had seen her sister truly cry like this, and each time it had ended badly, Sara at Barry’s wedding was a case in point, drunk and in bed with Sara. this was different, however, this was something much worse, Alex was losing Lena and her daughter, well at least in her mind, there was no way that Lena and Alex should be doing this to each other, the reactions their hearts had to each other was like a complimentary symphony in Kara’s ears. She grabbed her for a hug and squeezed her enough for her to feel safe but not enough to hurt.

“Lena loves you, you have a beautiful daughter, who you have tomorrow, you can work this out, you are the best couple and best mothers I know, you will work this out Alex, please remember that you always have me and you will always love each other. If you two can just sit down and really talk, not shout not discuss some plans or something like that, just be honest about how you feel without pushing each other away, neither of you have ever thought you deserved love, and you are the best at punishing yourselves, unfortunately catching each other in the crossfire, maybe you could take the rest of the day off? I will cover”

Kara was hurt Alex thought that she didn't understand them, she did she knew them both so well, she just didn't want to tell them the obvious truth, that they tried too hard to protect each other so hard that all they did was push each other away and cause themselves pain, they needed to just remember why they loved each other.

Alex was still trying to wipe her tears as they strolled down her face, she knew that she needed to get Isabella tomorrow and that she needed to be on her best behavior but did she really need to be on that tonight? No, she didn’t think she did. She could make one stop on her way home. Yes, to the bar she shall go. 

She hugged Kara bye before skipping out of the DEO. Her sister sometimes, always knew what she wanted or needed. Walking down the dirt pathed road she came to the bar sign. She use to be here every single night and most mid-days. Well, anytime she wasn’t working really. 

Now opening the doors to the bar she walked inside before looking around. Six more months would give her the five year sober chip. These stupid chips that she collected that Lena was happy about. The newest one always staying in her wallet as a reminder of the good that she’s done for her family. 

“What a joy why stay sober when you don’t have a family to go home to, eh?” 

Alex wasn’t talking to anyone in particular she was just being well Alex. She laid the chip on the bar as she looked at the bar tender. 

“Make it something strong will ya?” 

Of course he did mixing a few of Alex’s favorite to go to drinks in there. 

Alex looked at the drink that was in front of her, with tears rolling out of those saddened eyes of hers. If it was four years and six months ago she would have been on her fifth drink by now. She wouldn’t have stopped till she was drunk and getting a cab and strangers to put her in that cab drunk. 

Alex didn’t even notice that Lillian’s side kick was in the same bar as her, she was thinking way to much. She was playing with the rim of the drink like she used to always do before downing it when Lillian side kick snapped a picture of her sending it over to Lillian to do as she wished with it. She picked it up to smell it which looked a lot like her drinking it when another picture was taken and sent back over to Lillian. 

Alex grabbed her chip off the table before looking around the bar and sliding the drink back to the bartender. 

“Give it to someone who really needs it. I have a daughter that needs a sober mother and a wife that needs a sober wife.” 

With that she stood up and walked out of the bar, deciding that since she was sober she would take in the city at night time and maybe just maybe stop at a store. 

Lena arrived at the penthouse to see the wine and the chocolates she knew they were from Kara and she sighed, her they go again stupid kryptonian custom, she would be getting gifts and notes and all sorts for months, possibly years until she either decided to speak to her and forgive her or she gives up, and that kryptonian pain in the neck was stubborn.

“Come on Izzy Pop let's go cook and you can tell me all about what I missed at the zoo”

Lena took Isabella up to the penthouse and started busying herself in the kitchen preparing to cook. Sitting her up on the breakfast seat so they could talk while she cooked Lena looked at her beautiful daughter, the only bright thing in the day.

“So tell me, what did you and Grandma do at the zoo sweetie”

Isabella laughed and giggled as she told her mamma about the zoo. Her hands moving around all over the place as she expressed herself very flamboyantly.

“Gamma, she took me, pengin’s, they no fly, aunty Kar Kar flies, then um, we seen the monkey, ohohoh, they swinging, spidyman he swing, then hippoppom-hipoppptumus, they big mamma so big. Had cotton candy, Gamma got me two, then the bugs, oh bugs lots, spidies, and ant, and then there were roaches. Gamma read me, they strong, they fast, they not possible to get rid of, need special stuff, Gamma said they life past the pocalypse mamma, she said even the flying ones, who also hard to get rid of. Gamma wrong though roaches dont fly, do they mamma”

Lena was chopping and listening to her daughter smiling as she talked so excitedly over the animals and the things that she was talking about with her Grandma. Lena was chopping some peppers and heard her say that cockroaches didn’t fly and Lena looked up, and stopped chopping.

“Is that what Grandma said?”

Lena could feel a wave of dread hitting her and her stomach began to churn, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing it couldn’t be right, her mother wouldn’t use that term it was too low brow but was she filling Isabella’s head with xenophobic prompts?

“Gamma, said roaches they are tricky, they can survive anything, she say flying roaches they get away all the time cos they fly, and that its lucky there only two”

Lena smiled at Isabella her heart racing and her mind swirling she it was true all of it she had been so blind, trying to give her mother a chance out of desperation, because alone she isn’t capable of looking after Isabella and now she has her daughter being drop fed some of the most hateful things she can imagine. Isabella has looked up at Lena so she tried to compose herself and continue chopping.

“Maybe Grandma was just checking you were listening sweetie, and well Grandma is often wrong about things so remember what mamma says you always make up your own mind ok”

Kara was finishing her patrol and as always flew past Lena’s penthouse she didn’t listen in but just check, Lena and Izzy were at the kitchen breakfast bar, Lena cooking and Izzy watching both looked fine and Kara smiled she used to finish with a fly past the brownstone to see her sister and her family eating, she would drop in, but now she wasn’t welcome. She flew to Alex picking up food and landed on the balcony.

“Hey Alex, I have brought Chinese and I just popped past Lena and Izzy are making dinner they both look happy, so you can stop worrying now”

“Thank you it’s as if you knew that I was starving. Sorry for freaking out on you earlier.” 

Alex was trying so hard to stay calm and collected this whole thing was eating her alive. Making her go crazier than Lena. Lena hadn’t texted her to tell her that they were in fact still off for the switch with Isabella tomorrow so she often wondered if that was still true or not. It just sucked for her really. All of it. Every last aching breath. 

Walking over to Kara and grabbing her food she sat down at the table and gently smiled at her. 

“I’m glad that they are both doing okay.. Oh Lena’s cooking I miss it very much. I think she’s going to keep her after today’s argument. I don’t think I’ll be seeing my sweet princess anytime soon, Kara. That’s what's breaking my heart at the moment.” 

Kara looked at Alex, she seemed a little better actually in herself but this was not any more encouraging, and Kara was worried. She was sure that Alex and Lena would work this all out eventually, once they both stop being so stubborn.

“Alex, you have an agreement two on two off, you have been defending Lena, rightfully so all week, she is a good person a beautiful soul, she wouldn't keep Izzy from you, she loved Izzy to much for that, and she loves you too much for that, what could you have possibly said that would have her stop Izzy visiting?”

Lena has not been able to stop her mind racing out of all control, she wasn’t able to focus on anything other than how she was messing everything up, as much as she thought she had overcome this particular quirk of her personality she could hear her Mother and Lex taunting her. She knew she was spiralling out of control and needed to focus. Looking over she could see Isabella crying.

“What’s the matter sweet girl, talk to Mamma”

Isabella had been calling her mamma, and she isn't answering, she kept calling and calling and there was no answer, she started to cry and put her head down on her hands on the breakfast bar. When Lena looked up and spoke to her Isabella looked up at her mamma tears running down her face.

“I calling, you don't want me, I wanna my Mommy, I wanna go home, hate it, hate here hate you, I want mommy”

If Lena had been in a logical place she would have known that this was normal, when a child was split, that they lash out and punish the parents, that every little girl tells their mommy that they hate them at some point but right now with everything else Lena couldn’t see it. Walking around to her daughter she helped her off the stool unlocked her phone and handed it to Isabella.

“Talk to mommy then, go to your room and talk mamma will finish dinner”

Alex looked at Kara and holds up a finger as if to tell Kara one moment, Alex then answers her cell phone so quickly expecting it to be Lena. 

“Hello?” 

Isabella still sniffling looks at the phone and seeing Alex she smiles.

“Mommy, Mommy I sad, Mamma sad she not listening, come get me mommy”

Hearing the start of the call was enough Lena went back to the kitchen and cooked.

Alex’s heart felt sad for Lena. Alex knew that she was closer to Isabella but she didn’t even mean for it to happen like that. 

“Listen, my princess. Mamma just had a real bad day. Like super bad. She’s upset because she didn’t get to be there with you at the zoo. I’ll see you tomorrow though. Do you want me to sing you a song? Mommy can sing you a sweet little song.” 

Alex hated seeing Isabella so upset it tore at her heartstrings every single time. 

Isabella sniffed and stopped crying, she was still sad, she wanted there to be one family one home one life. She didn't understand this she didn't know what she did but there was something she was sure of it. She thought that as long as she was good that everything would be ok.

“Mommy, I want to go home, I sorry, can I home now, mamma, and you, please, I said sorry”

Lena’s heart broke, she had come back to get Isabella for her dinner and her she was hearing the final straw for the day, at least she hoped so because she was not sure how much more she could take. Isabella thought that it was her fault that she had caused this, this was something that everyone said would happen and her and alex had been telling her it wasn't her fault but it wasn't getting in, Lena figured that she took that trait from her, only able to hear negative things, positives take so much longer to filter in.

“Izzy sweetie, it is time for dinner, please go wash up” Taking the phone off Isabella Lena looked at Alex and could see the same broken expression that she expected to be on her face. “Normal place and time tomorrow Alex?”

Alex was so fucking shattered that Isabella would even think for a moment that any of this was her fault. It broke her heart into a million pieces. How has this happened? Were they not careful to make her feel like it wasn’t her fault? She would figure it all out soon. How to fix this. 

Alex looked at Lena and gave a gentle smile to her. 

“Same place, Lee. Oh and please don’t take what she’s saying to heart, Lee. Kids they lash out when they don’t understand something. This is way too big for her to understand. Go enjoy the rest of your time with her.” 

Lena said goodbye to Alex and headed into the kitchen, Isabella came running in and cuddled into her they had dinner and watched a movie, Lena had even managed to get her to laugh and joke a little with her, she was almost her sweet girl when it was time for bed. They did prayers together, Lena was not religious had never been but it was a routine that Alex had developed so she did her best to complete it. When it got to the blessings at the end, that was another cut to Lenas fragile teather to sanity, she had always said loss does strange things to Luthor and she could feel this one coming like a tsunami.

“And bless me, so I be good, to go home, have mommy all the time, cos I sorry, and mamma wont go home”

Lena held it together long enough to kiss Isabella and tuck her in before heading back out to the kitchen she spent a good few hours making her list, the pros and cons of her being in Isabella's life, the list was so much longer on the negative, she had learned that she always needed to add a little note for evidence, looking at the list it would appear everyone agreed that Isabella would be better off without her. The worst part was that each point there was evidence from out of the mouth of her daughter. Without needing to talk to anyone they had been giving her their views all day. She was sad, and exhausted two days with no sleep, 4 attacks and an emotionally draining three days this week needed to be over she needed it to be finished. She had meant to do some work but had not been able to so she decided that she would get up early.. She often did, so that a lot of the work could be done when isabella was asleep so she could be home on time, but alex would be there cooking. She sighed and headed to bed exhausted she fell asleep.

It was Lena’s turn to have the nightmare tonight, it was the same one she always had when she was feeling low and tired. The day that she lost her mother, she was little the world was on a different perspective, and she was at the lake. This time though it wasn't the normal dream, there was something different more realistic about it. Her mother's sad eyes looking at her, saying that he wasn't coming that she was sorry. Then when Lena was playing she watched her mother, get up and walk into the lake, but she didn't swim, she didn't call out, she just walked under and never came up. Lena screamed and sat up in bed, did she just witness her mothers suicide, she thought the answer was yes and she also thought that this was not the first time.


	5. The final straw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena continues to spiral unnoticed by others, Alex continues to struggle not being with her love or being without her daughter, she has her two days and doesnt want to go back to being on her own.
> 
> Kara has a interaction with Lillian and fears for the saftey of her sister, making choices that has knock on effects to other people

Waking from her nightmare Lena wasn’t able to go back to sleep, it was the third night in a row she had no sleep. She was starting to feel the effects of lack of sleep she wasn’t able to concentrate on anything. Going to the kitchen for some coffee she couldn’t get the image out of her head, she couldn’t shake the feeling that her mother committed suicide she left her by choice not by accident.

She was watching the time tick away and she looked over her list, and she resigned herself to knowing that she was the worst thing in her daughter's life, that there was no one that wasn’t touched by the negativity in her, and the additional that came with being a Luthor. She decided that the best thing she could do for her daughter was leave, leave her with Alex and their home. She had prepared breakfast and could hear the patter of Isabella moving around.

“Mamma is in the kitchen sweetie come and get some breakfast we need to get you ready for Mommy”

Isabella came running down the steps after hearing where her Mamma was at. The thing with Isabella is she was either a happy child when she woke in the morning or a grumpy one there however, was no in between. 

“Mamma! excited to see mommy but I miss you very very much. What you doing while I with mommy?” 

Isabella never called either place she stayed at home because she didn’t feel that way.

Lena looked at her special little gift and smiled brightly bending down to give her a hug, she held on longer and tighter than usual and breathed her in deeply peppering her face with kisses. As isabella giggled and squirmed in her arms she couldn't help but be free and happy herself in that moment, if only Alex was here she would have come in running over and wrapping them both up if she was here, she missed her so much and the thought pained her. She smiled and looked at her daughter.

“chocolate chip pancakes, then a shower and dressed for Mommy, Mamma has a lot of work to do and then she is going to spend some time with her Mom……...” Lena’s voice was a little sad as she spoke finishing with “........mamma loves you so much and will miss you, but mommy will take good care of you and will be so happy to see you”

Isabella smiled brightly as she heard the breakfast food and got super excited. 

“Oh love them, Mamma! I love you the moon and back. I can’t wait to see Mommy! tell her everything!” 

Isabella couldn’t help but to be jumping up and down in her chair slightly. This was going to be a very good day and she knew it. The morning with Lena was going to be fantastic and the day with her Mommy was going to be brilliant. 

Lena Smiled and held her for one more moment before she stood and started making the pancakes, flipping them to get her daughter to smile and laugh handing them over. She put fruit and cream and syrup on the table with mini marshmallows and sprinkles. Lena only let her eat like this but if this was going to be the last breakfast then Lena wanted it to be a good memory. She watched as isabella filled up on all the naughty offerings and tidied up while she finished and then took her to the shower.

“Alright Izzy Pop let's get you showered and get you dressed it's nearly time to go and meet Mommy, shall we get her coffee?”

This was a big day for Alex the day that it was easier to stay on track when she had her daughter. Alex didn’t do too well on the days she didn’t have Isabella which is why she has recently been getting a hold of Nia also known at Dreamer to do things with her. For once in her life she didn’t feel like always being around Kara. It was like the two of them didn’t belong together anymore. Alex was just annoyed with her at the moment. 

Sitting down at the table with Nia, Alex couldn’t help but to look her in the eyes and give off a gentle smile. Alex never thought that she would even get to know a transgender woman so to be here and to be friends with Nia she thought of it as a blessing. 

“Thank you, Nia for coming over last night when I called you crying and just holding me till I fell asleep and making breakfast for the both of us. Now will you be staying to see Izzy after I pick her up? I don’t think it’s in the best interest if you showed up with me to get Izzy because Lena’s mind can take her into some dark places. I don’t want her to get upset, dear.” 

Nia smiled she knew that Alex was not in a good place but she had seen some impressions of what were possible future messages regarding Lena and depending on what the outcome is Alex might need some friends.

“Alex, there are a lot of things happening in Lena’s mind at the moment and there are a lot of dreams that I have had containing her I just don’t know what’s going to happen, you know I am always here if you or Izzy need me and well I really like Lena. The one thing that’s true in all my dreams is that Lena is alone, she isn’t reaching out and she is cutting herself off, you’re right to be cautious, Alex just be gentle with her”

Alex looked at Nia because she believed in everything Nia was saying to her. The thing was that she didn’t like the thought of Nia having dreams about Lena and that scared her more than anything. 

“Nia, Please tell me what’s happening in those dreams if it’s anything to do with her getting hurt or anything of that nature. I will want to know. You know we can’t keep these things from one another. Not when there is a kid that could get hurt in all of this.” 

Nia knew that her dreams were interpretative and that she was so much better at it now than she was at the start. Not being prepared by her mother people not seeing her as a woman had meant that her sister had all the training and she got the power but with the help of her friends she was more secure.

“There is a conflict within Lena she is not able to resolve, her desire to fight for what she loves is so strong that she is making decisions that could take her down a very dark path, but she isn’t decided. I don’t see her in National city if things continue, but I can’t be sure her mind changed the dreams”

With that Alex nods her head as she listened and truly thought about what Nia was saying. So would she take Isabella away with her or would she leave her here? Why would she even do this to their daughter. Thinking again now lost in her mind, Alex couldn’t help but stand up and wave to Nia. 

“Thank you Nia. I’ll see you soon. Maybe you will even get to spend some time with Izzy.” 

Lena and Isabella had dressed, Lena ready for work in her purple suit it was going to be a day of meetings and damage control and she had other things that would need to be planned, she needed to look in control even if she didn't feel it, her trademark heald and severe bun in place with more makeup than normal to cover the lack of sleep, and scarlet lipstick, giving her the classic stoic and cold look. They had been driven by frank through the starbucks and collected Alex’s coffee, and then arrived at the park, sliding out of the car just short of where Alex was stood she helped isabella out of the car seat and the car. She went running straight over to Alex.

“Mommy, Mommy, mommy, I miss you, can we go trampoline, wanna jump mommy please” wrapping her arms around her mommy tightly.

Alex couldn’t help but look at Lena dressed like that. Holy fuck, was Lena trying to kill her slowly or something? Probably. No doubt about that. 

“Of course we can go trampolining and I’m sure that Nia will want to come with us. She loves doing those kinds of things.” 

Alex looked at Lena as she bites her lip before getting closer to Lena and whispering in her ear. 

“You Lee, look very beautiful. Have a good day at work and I’ll see you in two days in the same place and time.” 

God, Alex hated how they were with each other so cold and yet not cold enough because Alex was as a matter of fact still in love with Lena. 

Kara had been doing her early morning routine, she had gotten up had her first breakfast, and then ready for patrol took off. She spotted something unusual there was someone on the top of the building containing Lena’s penthouse. As she got closer she could see that it was Lillian, and she flew down, Kara was sure that Lillian was up to no good and didn't want her anywhere near Lena or her family. Flying down she landed behind her and noticed that she was removing a camera.

“Lillian, I would say that it is nice to see you but, you being anywhere near Lena and Isabella is never a nice thought what are you doing here?”

“Oh Kara, How droll. It does not affect me in the slightest that you don’t want me near my daughter or my granddaughter because you are a vail roach. Once they both come to their senses they will see what I’ve been telling them all along. Don’t worry though I know just what I’m doing.” 

Retrieving the camera she didn’t even look at Kara because the disdain on her face would let Kara knew that she was up to no good. She would not in a million years let a low scum roach figure her out. Never give her the reward of that.

“Now if you must truly know I know just how to get you out of my daughter's life and the camera knew just where to start. Arrogant superior Kryptonian wouldn’t be able to not listen.” 

As she said those words she looked Kara right in the eyes. Let’s see Kara try to end her she would be put down by others for this considering that Lillian was doing nothing evil at the moment. 

Kara looked at her and zoomed in to what she was holding it was a wireless camera, and she could only imagine what she had used that for. Lillian was up to something she knew that she needed to work out what it was before she hurt her sister, Isabella or Lena no matter how she tried.

“Lillian, I am sure you’re behind more than just the recent argument and I will find out what you are not going to win, you are not going to hurt Lena any more you are a manipulative woman, and you don't deserve Lena.”

Lillian laughed harshly and rather evilly as she looked at Kara. 

“It’s a shame you couldn’t even find the person behind the explosions and you are supposed to be the hope of this city? Oh these people are stupid if they think that a roach will be able to do them any good and to help them, but no one sees it like that huh?” 

Lillian crossed her arms placing the camera into her pocket where Kara couldn’t get it. 

“I am Lillian Luthor, which means that since you are here I was able to get rid of the older Danvers sister which means one down and one more to go. Just give me time Supergirl and you will be the very next one to go.” 

Kara looked at Lilian and took in what she was saying she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Zoning out of Lillian’s monologue Kara zoomed in on Alex’s heart and the surrounding area there was someone muttering about a clear shot. Leaving Lillian on the roof and breaking through the sound barrier she was off.

Lena walked over tentatively after yesterday she was not sure if she had enough strength for another round with Alex. She just wanted her wife, at least for a couple of days, and her daughter to be happy and Lena was not able to be the source of that happiness, but she could stop being the reason that they were sad. The torment and turmoil in her mind dulling her normally iridescent eyes and the lack of sleep aging her face she got to Alex, handing over a bag of essentials and the Coffee.

“She ate a really big breakfast today probably too much sugar to be jumping around straight away but that won't stop her I am sure, she is like her Mommy unstoppable. Anyway have a good time.” Bending down she kissed Isabella.

The gunshot happened and Kara streaked through just catching enough of the bullet with the tip of her finger as she crashed into the floor and skidded.

As soon as she heard the gunshot go off Alex didn’t know who it was meant for if it was meant for her or Lena but she grabbed Izzy and backed herself up into Lena pushing both of the people that meant the most to her against the car. 

“What the fuck is all this? I swear I’m going to figure it out and end them.” 

Alex’s heart was beating so fast and she still had a tight grip on Lena’s hips as their daughter was between them. 

Izzy started crying so loudly. 

“They trying to kill my mommies..” 

Kara used her heat vision and disabled the gun melting the muzzle and turned to Alex. Walking forward towards them trying to work out where the bullet ended up.

“Its Luthor, she is orchestrating everything she is trying to not only get Isabella from you but kill you too, she can't be trusted we have to keep Izzy away from her”

Alex steps in front of Lena and Izzy shaking her head as she reached for her gun. There was no way that her wife would ever do something like that and she believed in Lena so much. 

“Get back and stay back. Stay away from my family. These two are all I have now. Get back Miss. Danvers.” 

“Bad roach” Izzy shouted finally understanding her grandma's lesson from the other day.

Kara looked at them, she realised that they all thought that she meant Lena her only hope now was that Lillian was still on the roof, she pushed off and flew once again breaking the sound barrier, she moved as quick as she could but landing on the roof there was no sign of Lillian.

Alex looked at both of the girls looking them over to make sure that they were okay. She even took Lena’s hands in her own as she looked over her body. Trying to make sure that she wasn’t hit with anything. After she was done looking at Lena she then went to Isabella and checked her small body over. Both were fine. 

“Lee, you okay?” 

Alex’s voice was soft and gentle when speaking with Lena. It was the one thing that she didn’t know that kind of just came natural to her when Lena was in trouble. 

“And Izzy we do not call aliens roaches. After all, roaches my dear little one do not fly.” 

Lena was in shock, she had seen the flash and the gun melted by Kara, she seen her streak and crash, she almost didn't make it, she also realised what Kara was trying to say, she wasn't accusing Lena, she was talking about Lillian, and her daughter calling her a roach was all that she needed for proof. This was her fault, Alex was in danger, Lillian was after her, all to get her hands on Isabella, she couldn't let her mother have them that was it she thought she had the final straw yesterday but clearly the cruelty in this world was not finished with her. Lillian had already had an affect on Isabella, if she no longer had access she would not be able to do any more. Lena’s mind was made up, she knew what she had to do.

“Alex hear her out, I think she meant my Mother, talk to our daughter about what she said please, I did last night maybe she will listen if it comes from you. Isabella, have fun with Mommy I have to see if I can find my Mother” 

Lena had kissed and handed Issabella back to Alex and was now heading for the car.

Alex was a bit saddened when Lena just handed Isabella over like that without another word.   
Lena wasn’t even concerned if Alex got hurt like she had been when they were fully together. That’s what hurts the most her not showing that she had been worried or cared about Alex anymore. 

Alex finally got Isabella into the car and drove to pick up Nia to go trampolining. 

“Because I know Dreamer is your favorite Izzy, she agreed to go trampolining with us. How cool is that?” 

Pulling up to wait for Nia what she didn’t know was that Nia had also invited Kara on this little adventure. Someone who Alex was not too keen on seeing right now. 

Nia came down to meet them by the car Kara standing sheepishly to the side of the building convinced that Alex wouldn’t want to see her.

“Hey Alex Kara told me what happened are you alright? Is Izzy ok? I need to talk to you about Lena but maybe not now, what happened has changed her thoughts and I now see two clear options and neither is good”

Kara inched forward and looked up through half lidded eyes and her crinkle was on display.

“I don’t have to come, I—I couldn’t find her Alex she is still out there and I don’t know what else she has planned, m-maybe I am better off searching and just staying away, I am just making it all worse”

Alex looked at Nia with a raised eyebrow this did not sound at all good and now Alex was very concerned. 

“We will talk about that when Kara is jumping with Izzy, trying to calm Izzy down about this bad roach shit. Okay?” 

Alex raised her eyebrow at Kara and gritted her teeth. 

“Either get in and go spend time with your niece or stay home either way you need to make a choice because I do not want to be out super late tonight. If you are coming to jump with your niece get in now. If you want to be immature about this whole thing then walk away now.” 

Kara nodded at her sister she was so saddened by the way they had drifted things hadn’t been this bad between them since she first arrived on earth. She understood that people changed and they grew apart but she never thought that would happen to them.

“I’m coming, I am sorry Alex I just want to spend time with you both”

Kara slipped into the car and received the cold shoulder off Izzy all the way to the park, she only warmed up when Kara took them on to the trampoline and started bouncing.

Sitting the first bounce out Nia was clearly on edge she had been checking in with the visions to see if there was any change.

“Alex? I don’t know what to tell you about this I see a lot of pain for Lena, and sometimes I see you all and sometimes Lena is missing, there is a shadow hanging over her at the moment”

Nia had watched the pain etched onto Alex’s face, she was concerned but the images didn’t make sense.

“Okay so what does this mean? That Lena is going to try to harm herself? I don’t see her ever doing that. She wouldn’t leave Izzy the only good Luthor by herself. She knew the pain that it was for her to be the only good Luthor.” 

With all this new information Alex’s heart was getting so heavy. Like nothing in this world mattered as much as they did. She needed Lena to believe in them and not to do anything to irrational. 

Nia looked at Alex she wasn’t so sure that she was right about Lena she was feeling just how much Lena was hurting.

“Lena is not fighting being a Luthor, she is fighting loss, it’s images on her, losing people, each one taking something from her as they go, the last one is calling her to join her and Lena is thinking about it, joining the woman she lost”

Nia was just not sure it made any sense.

“I don’t see you all together at the moment Alex, even when your all sad Lena is alone”

Alex really thought about this but she didn’t want to worry Nia even if she was freaking out inside. Not her Lena. Her Lena would not do this would she? 

“Come on Nia, let’s go join the other two children shall we? And I’m sure I can jump higher than you.”

They all took it in turns bouncing with Izzy as she finally started to tied Alex called it. Day saying goodbye to Nia and Kara as she took Izzy home to eat, call Lena and then go to bed. Alex could tell Kara wanted to speak to her but she just wasn’t ready yet.

Lena had been working quickly, she was determined that everything would be ready and she was nothing if not efficient when she was determined. By the end of the first day, there was an ample trust fund for Isabella, care of Alex, the deeds for the brown stone were being changed to Alex Luthor-Danvers only and would just require a signature from Alex. those were the easy bits, she was more than capable of getting that done in half the time the papers would be ready in the morning. She had moved a significant amount of money to untraceable accounts and created a secure connection to her laptop, that would keep her in touch with LCorp, and Alex via Skype. The finalised divorce papers and custody papers relinquishing all rights to Isabella were ready to be collected too. All Alex would have to do is sign, picking up the folder she headed out to go home.

“Jess I am heading out I will not be in the office tomorrow I will be available electronically only.”

Alex smiled as she set up the computer for Isabella to call her mother on Skype something that she never allowed Izzy to miss. She always wanted to keep Lena close with her other mommy and didn’t want Lena to feel like she was missing anything. 

“Okay Izzy it’s almost all set up just let me put in the password and make sure that Mamma is on.” 

Alex called Lena for Isabella. Isabella who was so happy to talk to her Mamma. 

Lena had just gotten to the penthouse opening her laptop to arrange the hand over, when her laptop went off notifying her of a call, she was very focused but didn't want anyone to know there was anything wrong at this time. She took a deep breath and composed herself seeing isabella on the screen she put on a big smile and answered the call.

“Hey izzy pop, have you had a good day with mommy?”

“I has good day with mommy! We went to trampoline park with Auntie Kara and Dreamer. We jumped so much and so high. Even mommy jumped with us! I went way up high and and jumped off scaring Bad roach Kara mamma!” 

Izzy was a bit excited and it showed all over her face. 

Lena Listens and watches her daughter talking she was going to miss her and it was going to hurt but not for too long, Lena was done hurting. She needed to finalise her will and make sure that everything was sorted, there would be a significant amount of time that they wouldn't be able to access the money or the properties that were not already signed over but they would be ok with the property and the trust fund.

“Ok sweetie, I hope your being a good girl for Mommy, please stop calling Aunty Kara that, I can see your all ready for bed so Mamma is going to say good night now ok. I love you, Isabella”

Alex and Izzy had watched two movies before Izzy fell asleep halfway through the second one. Once she was asleep Alex picked her up and took her to the bathroom where she woke her up to brush her teeth afterwards she then put her to bed and kissed her forehead giving her tons of hugs and kisses before going to her own room to go to sleep. 

After they had gotten up from the morning nap it was going on at 11am and she knew that they still had so much to do. So she headed taking them to the park where Izzy could run around for a little bit and Alex would chase her around the park as well. They even played hide and seek at the park which Alex always cheated because she would never take her eyes fully off Isabella she just pretended she had no idea where Isabella was at. 

Once they got home from the park they decided on watching Disney cartoons and doing some snuggling. They both did enjoy that very much. Just the two of them on the last day. That’s how Alex always wanted it to be. 

Once it was around dinner time they decided to cook together. It wasn’t a Lena meal by any means but it was one that Alex could be proud of and Lena would secretly be proud of too if she was there to watch. Alex cooked them some ham pasta bake which had tons of veggies in it. It was like a win win for each of them. Since Isabella’s favorite meat was in fact Ham. Although Izzy ate more of the ham while they were cooking. 

After they ate and everything was going as smooth as ever for the two of them she got her ready for bed and brushed her teeth. Saying her prayers with her. Then they were off to bed. 

Alex didn’t like the thought of losing her for two days again it all seemed so hectic and damn it she hated this more than anything. Why was Lena being so stubborn? Why were they even getting this divorce again? 

When they had gotten up in the morning she made Isabella some very healthy breakfast and they sat and chatted for a little while before going into the living room to watch morning cartoons. She took today off as well. They both have fallen asleep at some point. A morning nap so to speak. 

Lena had been up early she went to her Lawyers office first thing, he had all the paperwork completed for her and she added it to her folder. Everything was set now and she just needed to get the documentation to her PI. she instructed him in what to do and where to go the next morning and gave a picture of Alex to ensure correct delivery. From there she went straight to her private Jet, she didn't get on it, byt chartered another plane sending her Jet in the other direction so that she would be given enough time to do what she needed to. As the plane took off she looked over the city, the depression and hopelessness she was feeling right now, overwhelming her, but she was no longer able to cause pain to Alex ot isabella and that was all that mattered. The tears fell freely as she left the boundaries of national city with only one destination in mind.

Alex was nearly late since her and Isabella fell asleep on the couch watching cartoons.   
She hurried to get them ready for the day. Damn it, Lena was going to be so pissed off. How could she let this happen to them? 

“Come on Izzy we gotta get you to Mamma so the two of you can have a nice good day together. Wouldn’t that be nice to see Mamma?”

Lena’s car pulled up to the curb and the door opened, instead of the six inch heels and a curvaceous led came a man in a suit. He was holding a large manilla envelope and a photo, walking forward after he spotted Alex, the man looked at her.

“Mrs Luthor-Danver? Mrs Alex Luthor-Danvers?”

Alex looked at the strange guy who was not in fact her wife. No sexy legs to stare at today. No Lena Luthor or coffee. There was nothing but a manilla envelope and Alex’s heart started to race so bad surely it would send off bad vibes to Kara if she was listening. 

“Who the hell are you? What the fuck did you do with my wife?” 

With that the gun was coming up so fast pointing at the unknown man. The thing with Alex when it came to her family she did not play around. 

“I was instructed by Mrs Lena Luthor-Danvers to come here at 10am and to give you this envelope, there is instruction inside and it will all make sense, she had given me no further instruction……” Looking at Isabella he looked sad and torn “.....I am sorry” he handed over the envelope and left.

Alex watched him go and she turned to look at Isabella. No that poor child. She would not let Lena go like this. Over her dead body. She kept flipping through the paper’s tears streaming down her face, because Lena did want a divorce she didn’t want to come back for her anymore and she wanted Alex to keep Isabella. Which hurt more than anything because the two of them were supposed to raise this beautiful little girl together. They both didn’t want to be a single parent that life was hard. Pulling out the letter she started to read it. 

::: Dear Alex, My red heady beauty, Always the protector, the strong one, you have to be strong now, protect our daughter from my mother, she was behind the attacks, she is behind poisoning our daughters mind and god only knows what else she had done. She will never rest, she will never stop, Isabella is not safe with me in her life. People hate me for being a Luthor the Luthors hate me because I am not Luthor enough. I had a home and I ruined it, I had love and I turned it to hate, I had a beautiful daughter, who hates me because I took her mommy and home away, well I am giving it back, giving you what you want, what you have always wanted, your her mommy always, there is nothing here for me, I am just as toxic as the rest of my family and I know that you and our daughter will be better without me. Don’t try to find me Alex, I am not worth it, there is nothing good in this Luthor, that Left the moment I lost you.

Lee :::

Alex couldn’t help the tears that flew from her eyes. There was no fucking way she was going to let Lena leave her this way none at all. Lena could still have all this if she fucking wanted it but she was so stubborn. Alex almost forgot about Izzy because her heart was so sad so damaged. Alex wasn’t ready to lose the mother of her child or her true love. She wasn’t ready for any of this. Not in a million years did she seriously think that they would be here. She never thought that Lena would go as far as to make her a single mother let alone leave Isabella wondering what she did so wrong. Putting all those thoughts inside of her head just like Kieran did to Lena. Not over her dead fucking body was she going to let this happen to Isabella. 

“Lena Luthor-Danvers, you better be prepared for me to find you. This is not okay and I’m not fucking giving up on you.” She muttered under her breath for just herself to hear. 

Izzy looked at her Mommy and raised her brow. Alex looked upset and Mamma was not here, she was confused, and was starting to get upset, snuggling into Alex.

“Is Mamma not back, still with her mom?”

Alex held tightly onto Izzy this was something she was not going to explain to Izzy because she believed that she could get Lena back she wanted to get Lena back. 

The thing is however she knew one thing and that was the fact that Lena did not go to see Lillian because she would never call her mom. The search for her wife would so be on.


	6. the hunt is on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex inlists the help of the super friends to help her find Lena, but will she get there in time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will have the next chapter ready in a few days so please bare with me, this one is hard going.

Alex couldn’t help but start to freak out; she was so scared because she knew Lena would never call Lillian her mom. The only one that understood that was truly Alex because the two of them talked about this very thing her never calling Lillian her mom. Lena always reserved that for her birth mom and she knew that better than anyone else. 

Damn it. Alex was alone with Isabella and this wasn’t good grabbing her daughter and putting her into the car and buckling her head she kissed her little head. 

“It will be okay Izzy I promise you. Mommy will always protect you and always protect Mamma too.” 

Isabella was a little confused there was no mamma; as much as she hated the new routine she knew that she should be heading off with Mamma right now. She looked at Mommy and could see there was something wrong. Her bottom lip started to quiver as she looked at Alex.

“Where Mamma? She mad? I won’t say it, I promise, I be good, no more, roaches I not bad, Mommy I want Mamma, where Mamma?”

Alex got into the car and buckled up her seat belt as she turned on the car and connected her Bluetooth calling Kara back to the DEO. If there was one thing that Alex was good at being a mother and she needed Isabella far away from all this until she knew for sure what the hell was going and how Lena was doing. Alex didn’t need their daughter blaming herself for whatever the hell it was that Lena was thinking was okay to do. Driving her and her daughter safely to the DEO, she turned off the car and unbuckled Isabella. 

Lena was sat in the cabin, she was only accessible through her computer but had everything routed through that. She sat with her bottle of scotch and waited, the time ticked over, ten fifteen, ten twenty then finally at ten twenty five the message arrived.

Tex::: Mrs Luthor the package has been delivered, Mrs Alex Luthor-Danvers has all the items you requested proceeding to Mrs Lillian Luthor now:::

Lena downed the glass she had poured, her daughter would be safe, and her wife would be safe, now just to ensure her mother knew everything was over.

“Listen Auntie Kara is going to fly you to Grandma because Grandma wanted to have an Izzy and Grandma Day. Aren’t you excited?” 

Isabella looked at Alex, she could see there was something not right was her Mommy mad too, was she going to leave too? She wanted to have both her Mommy and her Mamma and now she wasn’t sure either of them wanted her, Mamma didn’t come and Mommy was sending her away.

“Aunty Kar Kar, fly me? Beach with Grandma? Mommy come too please”

Alex knew that it was a bad thing to lie to Isabella but right at the moment she couldn’t let Isabella know that something was very off. She couldn’t do that. Not to them not at all. Alex took out her phone and sent her mom a text about asking her to watch Isabella until she figured out what was going on with Lena and that she loved her and thank you after her mother agreed to take her granddaughter which never did take a whole lot of convincing. After all, Eliza always wanted to be a grandmother and was excited when it actually happened to her. 

Alex never once put Isabella down because her anxiety was way too high for this shit. Just holding her and allowing her to use her phone to watch YouTube videos which she never allowed that kind of thing. When she saw Kara she looked at her and for the first time handed Isabella over to Nia because she trusted her with Isabella. 

“I’ll be right back.” 

Nia was at the DEO because she had seen the distress, the panic, her dreams contained Alex running in fog, calling out for Lena, Lena was behind a barrier, she couldn’t hear her she couldn’t be seen by Alex they were not more that and inch apart but both alone and scared. It had rattled Nia, she had gone to Alex and then when she got to the DEO she could see the panic in Alex, and she understood immediately but she didn’t want to tell Alex In front of Izzy.

With that she kissed the top of her head and took Kara’s hand and walked away with her to another room that had open windows so she could still keep an eye on Isabella. 

Nia took Izzy and smiled starting cuddling her blowing raspberries on her neck and tickling her trying to get her to laugh.

“Shall we get a snack?”

Kara was not sure what was happening but Alex’s heart rate was racing like she had never heard it before, there was nothing obvious she could see, clearly it was something connected with Lena, she was due to pick up Isabella. 

“Mom is going to keep Isabella for a while. Till I figure out what is going on with Lena, but I need you to fly Isabella to mom because honestly I don’t think I have the time right now to waste driving all the way home to drop her off okay?” 

Kara listened to Alex and things started to fall into place, Lena was missing and Alex was worried, she needed Izzy to be somewhere safe and she was in full Director Mode.

“Alex would I not be helpful in finding her, I could listen for her, Alex I know I messed up and that Lena isn’t happy with me at the moment but I can help I can help find her! Please Alex don’t shut me out I am sorry and I am trying, trying to make amends, I just want to help please”

Alex couldn’t help but to raise her eye brow and crossed her arms over her chest. Today Kara decides to try and push her limits. 

“As your Director I need you to keep my daughter safe. With mom is the best way to do this. So I need you to take her there until I figure out more on Lena. Do you understand? At this point, Kara. You and Nia are the only two I trust with her. With Nia’s dreams about what’s been suppose to be happening I can’t risk sending her and her not here to help. Once you make it back I’ll give you some sort of job to do. Understood? Now take your niece to safety. Do as I say.” 

Kara started to pick at her sleeves and looked down at her hands, did Alex not trust her to help with Lena, she could at least help with Izzy. Kara had messed up and she knew it, she had pushed Lena, made her feel bad, and she was not in a good place, would she hurt herself? She needed to just do as asked Alex was in no mood to hear apologies.

“Ok, Alex I—I will take her, I will fly her to Eliza and t-then I will come back and help, I am sorry Alex I didn’t mean to make things worse”

Lena was still waiting it was gone eleven now there had not even been confirmation that her mother was in the place that she was supposed to be. Lena had tracked her down and had told the PI where to go, it was infuriating, she just wanted to know everything was taken care of and that her mother would know it was over so she could be at peace.

Nia had continued to play with Izzy running around, the agents all giving the director and her family a wide berth Nia and Izzy had the run of the floor, she was starting to giggle and play now, Nia hoped that she was starting to relax. The moment she saw Alex she rushed over, the concerned look on her face and tracing up to her Mommy.

With that Alex walked out of the room and gave Isabella a kiss to her head and a great big hug. The thought that Lena was in trouble was ripping her heart out like a ton of bricks. 

Kara walked over and looked at Izzy with a big smile, reaching out for her, Izzy looked hesitant and was clinging to Alex like she was about to lose her world, Kara’s heart was aching, she knew that look well, she had seen it on Alex and Lena’s face.

“Come on Izzy, come fly with me, mommy says its ok, shall we see if Grandma has some chocolate pecan pie?”

Izzy looked at Alex and then back at Kara, she didn’t want to lose Mommy but she did want pecan pie, she slowly let go of Alex and moved over to Kara. After a final kiss Kara took off for Midvale.

Once Kara was gone with Isabella she walked over to Brainy and Nia with that badass walk that she has going. 

“Brainy give me everything that you can tell me about the one and only Lena Luthor. I want to know everything. Got it?” 

Brainy looked at Nia, and then at the computer, he was not sure what Alex meant there was a mountain of information on Lena.

“Lena Luthor is the youngest child of Lionel Luthor, adopted into the family at age four and a half; she had an older brother Alexander Luthor and an adoptive mother Lillian Luthor. She is the youngest CEO in the history of the fortune five hundred her net worth currently sits at 6.8 billion dollars”

Nia looked at Brainy and then at Alex she was sure that Brainy was about to become the first victim of Alex’s anxiety, she had a tendency to get quite angry when anxious.

“I have seen Lena in my dreams, she is lost in darkness Alex she, she is not good, I think that she is going to do something quite bad to herself, yesterday I wasn’t sure but her mind is made up, Brainy I think you need to concentrate on her mom”

Brainy looked at Nia and tilted his head, the director has asked for all the information on Lena Luthor, there was a lot to get through.

“Nia Nall, her birth mothers information is sealed, nothing is known about her before the age of four years and six months, the records are sealed and it would be a breach of ……..”

Alex looked at Brainy with a very angry look on her face. Why the fuck was he being so difficult, sometimes it felt like he was stupid, not a twelfth level intellect or whatever. 

“I don’t give a flying rat's ass if they records are sealed or if it would be a breach of confidentiality. I need you to just fucking get me the records that I need. This is my wife we are talking about. I will not be a widow and I will not have Isabella be one parent short. So if you really are not trying to piss me off you will tell me what’s in the sealed fucking folders.” 

“Your right director of course, confidentiality only applies to the living and Kieran O'Callaghan, killed herself in 1997, she no longer has the right to confidentiality, if Lena is planning on visiting her mother do you think she is planning on ……..”

Alex couldn’t help but to cut Brainy off because there was no way in hell that Lena would do such a thing. 

“No she wouldn’t do such a thing. She wouldn’t leave our daughter because she knows how much it sucked when her mother did that to her. She wouldn’t leave Isabella feeling like this was all her fault. There was no way in hell that she was going to do that.” 

“Well statistically speaking a child who has a parent that commits suicide is three times more likely to do so themselves, it is the highest of all the risk factors according to John Hopkins that have done a fantastic study into suicide rates and they have doubt that not only are they three times more likely that about three percent actually manage it too, which may sound small but with over fifteen hundred children losing a parent to suicide a year that is a significant number”

Nia looked at Brainy and shook her head signalling for him to stop talking, Alex was turning a unique shade of purple right now and it was not going to go well for Brainy if he didn’t get to the point.

“With what I have been told about Lena and her actions lately she is at high risk, her Feelings of hopelessness or desperation, Insomnia, Social isolation, Irritability and Feelings of being a burden all combined with her mother’s suicide lead me to believe there is a 92.4% chance that Lena is indeed suicidal”

Lena’s laptop finally made the sound she had been waiting for it was twelve thirty.

Text: Mrs Luthor, the package has been delivered; Mrs Lillian Luthor was less than hospitable sorry for the delay.

She opened up the message and smiled, she was sorry that the PI had a run in with her mother but was glad that this was done, he was handsomely paid for this very small errand, and he had wondered why, now he knew. She would no longer be a burden no longer hurt those she loved, there would be no more loss not more pain, she downed another glass of scotch and closed the laptop, ignoring all messages and emails.

Lillian crossed her arms over her chest because right now she knew for a fact that Lena had betrayed her. Why on earth would Lena give Alex the ability to take her down? That’s what hurts the most. Lillian even spiked her drink, a special blend of pharmaceuticals to open her mind and with only a small side effect of depressive paranoia, to help her see the truth of the Danvers sisters and yet here she was still helping them? Why would she do this to her mother? To her? This was eating her up inside and it was breaking her. 

Lillian had spiked her drink to make her paranoid open her mind, not to do this, it seemed to have the opposite effect because now, instead of open to the evils of the Danvers sisters and paranoid about them taking Isabella, here she was being suicidal something that Lillian was not good at seeing or dealing with. The letter was so final so defeated, lacking in decorum how could a Luthor contemplate giving in and allowing that Alien to win, this was Kieran’s generic influence. Lillian wanted to talk to her daughter about why she gave all this information to Alex.

Alex had looked at Brainy because they were so close to figuring out what made Lena’s mom do this and where it was at and then it was as if Brainy found something he didn’t want to share and fuck she needed all the sharing that she could get right now. Her wife depended on it and she was not about to lose Lena. Not now and not ever because Alex couldn’t imagine a world without Lena in it. 

“Well just keep going Brainy or so god help you I will put you out of your own misery.” 

The thing was everyone knew better than to mess with Alex when it was about her family she was too protective and careful with them. Actually with both Lena and Alex being big figures no one knew what Isabella looked like until she was one and a half and that was only because Lena accidentally forgot to cover her face after an appointment but they did try to keep her out of it as much as possible. Both good at that kind of thing. 

Brainy looked down at his pad and then back up at Alex before looking over at Nia for some guidance, Alex was asking for information and being quite threatening he was not sure what she wanted and he was concerned that the vain in her neck was about to explode.

“Well the catalogue of events at the current time seem to stem from Lena’s fear that her Daughter will become a Luthor corrupted or marred by her and her family name, something that appears to have been playing out lately, she is also alone, she has not responded to a single call or text from any of the super friends since you have taken your break, except for Kara, who she now believes no longer believes in her and the fact that Izzy appears to have sided with Lillian will have compounded the situation there are a number of examples and a statistical….”

Nia stepped between the two looking at Alex cutting Brainy off.

“I think that the situations have been devised to create isolation and the timings seem to have been skilfully coincidental, I believe that Lillian is involved”

Kara flew in from the balcony and landed in the command centre, the room was very tense and she was watching Alex, her heart rate was dangerously high and she was concerned about her, she knew it wasn't the time but with Nia’s opening she looked up.

“Lillian admitted it all to me Alex, that what I was trying to tell you yesterday, she has been manipulating us all to get to Lena and Isabella, I don't know all of what she has been doing but she tricked Lena into talking about taking Isabella and she was watching me on a camera, and she tried to kill you, she is clearly doing everything she can to get us away from Isabella and Lena, she wants to be the only one Lena can lean on, like with the explosions, she was behind them all.”

Lena felt that she was now in a position to say goodbye to all the pain, she found that the more she drank the more she felt hopeless at lease that was about to be over. She had secured a future for Alex, Isabella and even Kara, her mother would no longer be a problem she could leave the pain of the world behind knowing that she had left everyone better off without her, she wouldn’t do any more harm.

Alex placed her hand on her hips as she had her thinking face on which for Alex everyone of her DEO agents knew what that look meant. 

First would be Kara. Always Kara first. “Kara, Supergirl, I need you to find Lillian and bring her in because she will be dealt with maybe not by me because she messed with my family and I’d kill her myself. Dreamer, I need you to get out there and search for Lena because she needs us all on the same level looking for her and being there for her. Brainy, I trust you to look after the DEO while you are looking for more information for your team. I will be out there searching for Lena as well. Brainy when you find anything that is of any importance you will get in touch with me. Got it? Now move it people.” 

Heading off to the car she had hired she slipped into the front seat leaving everything she needed in place. With a soft sigh she started the engine and drove off to the lake, she hadn’t been here since she was four years old. That day had always haunted her; she had a great day she thought her mother was happy, spiking her around in the field of flowers, eating the picnic, then her mother walking into the lake. Her recent dream showed her that her mom had just walked in and taken a deep breath of water as she submerged herself.

Nia and Kara left and Brainy turned away he was feeling some kind of emotion and he knew that only Lena would be able to make sense of this, she was the only one who could explain to him, at his level. Muttering to himself as he continued to look at information on his friend.

“I don't know why I am focusing on Lena, everyone knows all about her; surely if she was going to want to be with her mother then she would go to the mausoleum or the lake, which would make more sense”

Alex was still at a loss for words because Brainy something she wanted to hate him and give him a hard time but when he actually used his mind for her family she couldn’t help but get an emotional rush. Alex was not one to hug anyone not really. It was just something she wasn’t used to doing. With that she ran over and hugged Brainy. 

“So then you need to tell me where she’s at? Give me the entire back story on the way. Just tell me where my wife is.” 

It was clear that Alex still thought of Lena as her wife. That would never truly change. 

Brainy tensed at the sudden contact to his body, this was unexpected and very out of character for the Director, he would have been expecting to be threatened or hit over this, and only Nia and Kara had hugged him. He stepped back awkwardly as Alex let him go and handed her a post it with an address. 

It seemed fitting to her that she would join her mother, she had been longing for her since the last time she was at the lake, her only wish as long as she could remember was to be back with her mother, she felt so loved, although that was now darkened by the fact she chose to leave. With the loss of the only other home she had, in Alex’s arms Lena felt the best place was back with her mom. Arriving at the lake she slipped out of the car and walked to the lake with her scotch.

Alex looked at the post it note with an address and smiled brightly. 

“You Brainy are almost as brilliant as my wife.” 

With that she took off running towards her Ducati because she would be able to zoom in and out of traffic to get to Lena faster. Alex didn’t think of it as being totally irresponsible or dangerous and maybe that’s because Lena wasn’t there to remind her about that. 

Placing her helmet on and getting on her Ducati she started it up. She would make it there in record time no doubt about it. 

Picking up her phone it was on aeroplane mode, she only had it for the photos. Dating, wedding, Alex’s swelling with their baby, after the matrix had combined their DNA. Isabella’s birth their family growing their home, everything about their life together. Then pictures of Isabella eyes sad, even with a smile on her face, she had done that, it was all her fault. Lena frowned at the images, she saw her life and how it had fallen apart because of her. She was just as toxic as all the rest of her family but she was done with being that person, she had tried to be good, better not just a Luthor, but she had been proven wrong, she was just like them and it was time to remove the one Luthor left.

On her way to the lake where Brainy had said that Lena would be she couldn’t help but to think about everything the two of them had overcome in such a short or longer period of time. How no matter what they always ended up falling in love all over again. The gentle touches here and there and the rough ones when needed. Nothing that would hurt them, surely. Sometimes they both liked to be a bit rough and yet sometimes they craved the gentleness. Alex’s mind was spinning with everything on her way to the lake. She couldn’t stop thinking about her past with Lena and she would not let this be the last time that she would have seen her. Alex promised to do whatever it takes to save her, because she needed Lena to remember what it was like to be in love. She vowed to herself secretly that she would make Lena fall in love with her all over again and make sure this time that her job would not be an issue. 

Kara was having no luck finding Lillian and maybe this was bad for the Kryptonian who always seemed to be able to do anything that she set her mind too. Knowing that her sister wanted Lillian to be found and at the same time knowing that her sister was not in the right mind frame to deal with Lillian and maybe that’s why Kara truly was not able to find her, she feared deep down that Alex would cross a line that she would not be able to come back from. Searching high and low for Lillian she wondered how long she had to be out here to make it look like she was trying with all her heart even though she wasn’t. 

With a heavy heart looking at the picture of her, Alex, Isabella and Kara taken at Isabella’s third birthday, just two months before the fight, and downed the last of the scotch before dropping the bottle and the phone. She walked into the lake and floated for a moment before she put her head under the water and took a breath. The water stung her lungs and she coughed as she took in more water, her lungs felt like they were on fire as she struggled to breathe under the water, her eyes dimming and she felt the cold take over her body as her eyes closed.


	7. only in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the race is on, Alex is racing against time, against a rapidly decrecing amount of time to find and save her love. Kara is looking for lillian, keeping a eye on Alex and fretting over Lena.
> 
> Will our girls make it in time?

Kara was flying around. She was still not sure if she should find Lillian, she was listening to her sister's heart and she was clearly under some duress still, but she was not spiking, so she was in no danger and clearly hadn't found Lena. She decided to take a quick stop and grabbed a coffee and sticky bun from Noonans, but the idea of stopping completely filled her with guilt. She decided that the best thing to do would be to sit on the top of the DEO she would be able to see the city from there.

Landing on the roof dangling her legs over the edge of the building Kara started to eat her sticky bun, then there was the sudden realisation that she was not alone, she could hear a heartbeat approaching it wasnt Lena, although Kara felt that that would be unlikely, turning she saw that it was none other than the woman she was supposed to find, it would appear trying not to find Lillian Luthor was the way to actually find her.

“Lillian, I have been looking for you”

“Oh and why was that, Miss. Danvers?” 

Here Lillian thought that being up on top of the DEO roof would give her time and that she could easily destroy this place when the time came and show the courts just how much Alex was unfit to be a mother. Oh yes she was going to set a bomb off on this roof when she knew that Alex had collected Isabella and Isabella was inside. 

Kara was not even sure how Lillain had managed to get on top of a secret government facility but nothing should surprise her with this woman any more, trying hard to maintain hope and to see the best in people was impossible when confronted by the toxic wasteland that was Lillian Luthor, her heart was blacker than anything that kara had ever come across.

“Lena is missing, not that I expect you to care, especally as you are the one who orchastrated everything to get us here, if you ever cared about Lena now is the time to finally make the right choice and help her, she left Alex a suicide note, we need to find her” 

Kara watched there was no shock on the face of the matriarchal Luthor, she already knew just how bad things were with Lena and she didn't care, x raying the woman she saw the explosives. Kara took a breath, she would need to get this woman off the streets.

“Oh Miss. Danvers, Don’t you know that if a Luthor has something set in stone that we always do it. So if she wanted to commit suicide she would have already done just that. It’s not my fault that you all think that she should not be doing this. It’s what’s best for her and for us actually. You hate the fact that she finally knows what’s best for Isabella because having someone as weak as her, well that is absurd and Isabella deserves better than both her parents which is why in due time she will be with me.” 

Kara couldnt believe what she was hearing, this woman was responsible for Lex Luthor, and all the atrocities in Lena’s life, she had tried to commit genocide and countless deaths were on her hands, she had tortured her and countless others and experimented on humans like they were rodents. There was no one in the world that would give a child to her, not if she was the last person on earth. Kara could feel her anger burning and zoned in on Alex’s heart even elevated it would steady her.

“That is where your mistaken Lillian, you have no claim on Isabella, she is not your blood, but she had so many people who love her and take care of her that you will never get close to her, your last child is somewhere about to kill herself and all you can think about is more destruction, I guess no matter what you feel, you will always choose poorly, the odds are never in favor of you showing a shred of decency”

“Oh right, but the truth is that the courts can see how many kids I have raised and hold that against how many the rest of you have raised. I’m the most qualified for this job not you or anyone else plus she is my blood kind of. She came from my adoptive daughter. That Miss. Danvers is something. You just hate the fact that I’m right because I will be taking everything away from your sister that she manipulated my daughter to get. She however can not do the same thing to me. So you should just walk away before you get hurt too Kara. I mean let’s be honest, how many times have you been up against me? How many times were you actually successful because newsflash... I’m still here so none!.” 

The thing was Lillian was worried about Lena but of course she would not let anyone know that. Not now or ever because this was not about what was going on it ran deeper than that. Kara just needed to get off this roof so she could plan on how to take down the DEO so Alex would be jobless and not able to care for Isabella. Getting her grandchild in her hands was the most important thing to her right now because she couldn’t lose the one thing that connected her with Lena who she believed deep in her heart was already dead. 

Lillian was also trying to stall Kara because she needed to make sure that both Alex and Isabella were in the DEO so maybe she could kill Alex in the explosion and save Isabella and look like this hero. 

Alex’s heart was accelerating, she didn't have time to spar with Lillian, she was a current threat but Alex’s heart was starting to concern Kara, it was wildly out of control and she needed to get there. Speeding over to Lillian and wrapping her in her cape in case the explosives detonated, Kara took hold of her, she felt it immediately Lillian had Kryptonite concealed somewhere, it was a small amount she only felt it as she grabbed her. The explosion could take them both out, falling to the floor both women were tied up in the kryptonians cape.

As they hit the deck Brainy arrived on the roof, he had picked up the signature and they were surrounded by armed agents. Struggling off the Luthor with a distasteful look on her face Kara stumbled backward.

“Brainy, Alex is in trouble, her heart is going wild I have to go, Take care of her, she has a bomb”

Lillian laughed,as the armed agents surrounded them and once she was in cuffs she looked at Kara. 

“You truly think that these agents will keep me where you and your sister want me? You do realize I am way more brilliant than any of these fools right?” 

Lillian raised her eyebrow. “I am not taking kindly to being manhandled by any of you. This is not a bomb, you imbecile. Chemicals and wires can make a bomb as easily as they can make a cocktail.” 

Lillian smirked once again because her next line would surely get under Kara’s skin. 

“It’s false accusations like that, that allow the so-called criminals you catch go free. I am not anything like my daughter. So I also see the rumors about you and your older women are true, I am not interested and I will not be going with these men to satisfy your needs. Understood? now unhand me, Miss Danvers or you will regret this.” 

Kara flashed red eyes at Lillian.

“You right, your nothing like Lena, she is twice as intelligent, and has more heart in her finger than you have, you deserve that atrocious name but Lena, oh no Lena is too good to be a Luthor, she is a Danvers and always will be, and so is Isabella, you will never get your toxic hands on them, any of them”

Kara took off with the anger in her, she reached a sonic boom quicker than ever and flew toward the ever increasing frantic sound of Alex’s heart.

Alex got there and for the first time ever, she let her motorcycle fall to the ground instead of taking the extra time to stand it up. The ducati still ticking over as she spotted Lena wading into the Lake calling out to her, she was screaming at the top of her lungs, it was having no effect. She didn’t have time for any of that at this moment, the bike, calling out all a waste of time, time she didn't have. 

“KARA”

Running down to the lake the sight in front of her filled her heart. Graceful and poised with a slow and purposeful stride Lena was getting further and further away from her, it was like one of those dreams, where you’re running but not getting any closer. 

Her legs and lungs were burning at the exertion of her pounding the ground, moving faster and faster towards the lake. Aching she couldn’t help the tears that flew down her cheeks. Clouding her sight, although through the haze, she could see Lena dipping below the surface as she was nearing the lake. No, how could she do this to them, instead of coming to Alex and talking to her. Alex always made sure that she told Lena she could come to her about anything. 

“Damn it Lena! KARA WHERE ARE YOU!!’” 

Alex ran into the water forgetting to take out all of her electronics; she will just replace everything. However, the only thing she couldn’t replace was the one thing floating on top of the water and under the water half and half and she knew that wasn’t good. 

Struggling as she tried to run, Alex dove beneath the surface of the water and swam as fast as she could, pushing herself, her burning lungs begging for her to resurface. Breaking the surface she gasped for breath. 

Finally reaching Lena she grabbed her, Pushing a big breath into her before securing her under her arm and taking her to the land before she started breathing into her mouth performing CPR. She continued and continued but there was no change, Lena’s Lips were already turning Blue and she was not showing any signs of getting better, tears streaming down her face, Alex screamed for Kara.. 

“You can’t fucking do this to me Lena! You promised I would never be a single parent. What about our daughter?” 

Alex was rocking her and crying so hard, she was starting to feel like the world was crashing down around her. Oh the beatings on her chest were getting harder she was so desperate at this moment. She needed Lena to be okay. 

“You can’t leave me. I love you. You have so many people here.. Please come back to me!” 

Alex's tears were now a downpour as she kept pounding on her chest and breathing into her mouth, she slammed her fist into Lena’s chest so hard she was sure that she heard a rib break and with that, there was water expelled from Lenas mouth and she took a gasp.

Kara was flying as fast as she could, Alex’s heart was getting faster and then she heard the first call, then there was the second, she was pushing as hard as she could, just flying towards the sound, as she drew closer to the Lake she could see it, Alex was hitting Lena, she was pounding on her, Kara wondered how they had gotten to this and then she realised there was only one heartbeat. Kara flew down and skidded to the side of her sister, just as she hit Lena so hard that her rib broke, but that was enough, her heart was beating.

“Oh Rao, Alex, I am so sorry, I am here, let me take you both to the DEO, she needs medical help”

Alex was holding onto Lena because she knew that she was breathing now and she felt a little better about this whole thing because she was no hero but she happened to save her wife. Without powers, she didn’t need them, love wins all. 

“I’m not fucking going. I’m not leaving her. I need to get her breathing steady before I even think about moving her. I can’t lose her.” 

Kara could see the distress on Alex’s face, but Lena’s heart was beating; she was cold but she was alive. Kara felt terrible, arguing with that toxic woman on the roof of the DEO, she had wasted so much time not doing what she was asked and Lena was here, she almost died, Alex had saved her, Kara should have been there to stop it, she shouldn't be looking at her sister holding the woman she loves limp and lifeless in her arms, what if Lena has brain damage?, if she doesn't wake up, Kara had no idea how she would be able to console Alex, and it was her fault. She X-Rayed her and could see that there were two broken ribs, placing her hand on Alex’s shoulder Kara softened her voice.

“Alex, she has a strong heartbeat, she has two broken ribs, but I am most concerned right now about the cold, can I dry you both off, I can use my heat vision, I will just warm you, you don't have to let go ok”

Alex listened to Kara and she couldn’t help but nod her head she would let Kara dry them off only because she didn’t have to let go of Lena. There was no way that she would ever leave Lena alone in this state. 

“Okay, you may dry us both as long as I don’t have to let her go. Oh and one more thing you do know that ribs never truly heal right? So she’s going to be so pissed at me for this. I just needed to make sure that she would be okay.” 

Alex was so scared that this would be the last day that she would hear Lena’s faint heartbeat, that Lena wouldn’t pull through. This was her worst fear and she couldn’t allow this to happen. She didn’t want this to happen not now or ever. Lena needed to wake up but Alex was so desperate to find the right way to save her or the wrong way, either way she would give anything up to make sure that Lena survived this. 

Kara looked at her sister her heart was breaking at the sight before her, the two of them were meant to be together there was no one in this world that loved Alex or that Alex loved with the exception of Isabella, that was the only thing the two women agreed on at the moment, that Isabella was the most important thing in the world to both of them. She just wished that they would remember where that beautiful little girl came from, from their love, the love they had was the strongest she had ever known.

Defusing her vision for a soft warmth she used it to dry and warm both of the women in front of her, she watched as the color returned to her sister and to Lena, well as much color as Lena ever had, she was always pale but she was at least warm.

“Ok Alex please, I can carry you, you can hold Lena, just let me take you both to the DEO, I will fly slow I promise, you will both be safe, please Alex I want to make sure she is alright too, she is my family too”

Brainy and the agents were surrounding Lillian, he had never seen Kara fly off so fast, whatever she heard was clearly not a good sound, he could extrapolate from the velocity and the direction she was off to the lake to get too Alex, and hopefully Lena, although his calculations suggested that the speed suggested that there was a 70% chance that it was not something good she was responding to. The look on her face suggested Alex was in pain and that had a 100% chance of being connected to Lena.

“Mrs Luthor, I suggest that you come with us quietly, there is no need to make this more difficult than it has to be, with the number of agents and the addition of Myself you have less than a 1% chance of getting off this roof, without being in our custody and there is a 90% chance that you will be dead in that scenario”

Lillian smirked as she looked at Brainy because he was such a nerd and didn’t know his calculations when it came to the Luthors. However, this was a bet or rather a gamble she was willing to take. She had everything planned out in case something like this should happen. She was after all one of the smart Luthors. 

With that she pulled out her fog bomb and set it up blinding all the guards and then she took the other bomb and threw it at Brainy making him catch it. 

Once that happened she jumped onto the wire with her glider to the other roof and she yelled across to him. 

“Not unsimilar to the Kryptonian roaches, you my dear Brainy, is that what your called?, have miscalculated and underestimated the resolve, resilience and brilliance of the Luthor mind in action, I would calculate that in this and every case when dealing with a superior intellect you are 100% incorrect. See you later. Guess your calculations were way off huh?” 

Brainy looked around in shock he was holding a small explosive and watching Lillian escape, he had to choose between the bomb or the villain and he calculated the odds with the ring he could get to the other building and capture the woman but there was no Vasquez on the roof to take care of the bomb, none of the other agents had the skill. He could fly the bomb up and toss it so that it doesn't harm anyone but no one could get across to the other roof, he played out a million scenarios in his mind in moments, and realised that there was none that he would be able to get both things done. He was also starting to doubt his ability to make calculations with Lillian effortlessly getting away, and taunting him.

“Mrs Luthor, I will factor you in more strongly in future and next time you will not get away”

With that he flew up to send the bomb away from the agents and the building, throwing it high into the air and returning to the spot that Lillian had been standing in, but she was not there.

Lillian couldn’t help but to get impatient as she sat in the limo waiting for this shape shifter to tell her that the deed was done. She needed to let everyone think that she was there instead of two hours away. She was on the run because she needed to come up with a very good plan before she went into the fire. Lillian was so impatient with how everything was going. 

“Could you take any longer?.” 

The shapeshifter slipped in and handed over the case, returning such an exquisite toy was not something that he wanted to do but what Lillian had was much more valuable to him. 

“Supergirl was there, and then the alien called Brainy, with twenty men, I got you off the roof and escaped but they got the bomb, now I have done what you have asked, where is my son?”

Lillian couldn’t help but laugh in this guy’s face. 

“You however did not do as I asked which means I’m not entirely sure that you deserve to have your son back or even get to talk to him today. So with that being said, you will help me finish this out or you will never see your son again. Do you understand?” 

Oh she just thought that he was so easy to make into her little toy, that he would be of some very big use. 

Kara gave Alex a few more minutes before carefully wrapping up both women in her arms and standing effortlessly. They were cumbersome together and would cause some difficulties with flying but their weight was no issue. She made sure that they were comfortable as she lifted off and flew towards the DEO. she didn't want to tell Alex about Lillian and the likelihood that she would be there is a cell waiting for her, in the mood that she was in, there was every likelihood that Alex would not be able to control herself.

Slowly flying Kara was careful not to jostle the unconscious woman, she didn't want to run the risk of causing any further damage. She landed on the balcony and headed into the DEO.

“Brainy, we need the Med bay and a doctor!”

The nursing team all rallied and got things ready for Alex and Lena, no one was brave enough to approach the Director and suggest that they take Lena off her; they just waited until she placed her on the bed to work.

Alex hated this, hated having to let her go but she knew that she needed to so she gently laid her on the bed and pulled the chair over with her foot. There was no way she was leaving her side. The DEO would just have to do without her until Lena was feeling herself. Alex looked at Lena’s hand and grabbed it, kissing it gently. At this moment she didn’t care about who all saw her shed some tears. 

“You’ll be okay, Lee. I’m right here always right beside you.” Alex whispered softly. 

Kara waited patiently and watched as the medical staff worked around Alex, she could see that Alex was in the way and that she was stopping them working as effectively as they could be, the respect that Alex commanded had them doing everything they could to make the situation work, it was clear to Kara that no matter what she needed to put things right with Lena and help Alex more so that she could have more time to work on this relationship. She knew that Alex still loved Lena and that Lena loved Alex, she wanted to help but her recent behaviour meant that Lena was not going to be going anywhere near Kara for a while, she was sure that this was going to take some recompense.

“Alex, is there anything that I can get you? Do you want me to check on Isabella?”

Alex looked over at Kara and nodded her head because she did need someone to check on her daughter. She hated the fact that Lillian was still not caught. She just hoped that her and Eliza were in no danger. 

“Please go check on Isabella and Mom. If I need you back here I’ll get in touch with you. Thanks Kara.” 

Kara left and headed off to Midvale, she wasn't sure leaving Alex was the right thing to do at the moment but Isabella always came first and she wanted to make sure that Lillian wherever she had gone to was not anywhere near her.

The pounding in her head told Lena that she was not dead, although everything was black and she was in a lot of pain, there was the occasional flash of light but mainly just pain, she had always been a woman of science and that suggested there was nothing after life, there was just an end, it should be pain free, or was this just the misfiring of her neurons the last spark of her electrostatic energy in her cranium. No this much pain she was either still alive or in hell, not that she believed in it. There was a faint warmth in her hand and the sweet sound of Alex telling her she was always at her side.

Focusing on what she could sense and feel she realised that there was someone holding her hand and with flickering lids she found a bright light and the hazy outline of a red headed woman with a very concerned face looking at her.

“Alex?”

Alex’s head snapped up and for the first time stopped those kisses that have been going to her hand over and over. The tears now that she heard Lena’s voice streamed down her face even faster. 

“Oh god, Lee. I’m so happy to hear your voice. We almost lost you..” 

Alex stood up and let her lips kiss Lena’s lips softly and gently her other hand to stroke back her hair. Alex was so happy to hear and see that Lena was doing so much better. 

Lena felt the lips of her love meeting hers, she didn't know what kind of imaginary world or misfire this was but the feel of Alex’s lips on her was something that Lena had been thinking and dreaming about since she moved out and she was going to take all that she could. She threw her arms around her and pulled her closer and kissed her back, forcing her tongue into the mouth of her beautiful red head, and swiping her tongue, clawing at her shoulders and gripping her hair, sucking her tongue into her mouth and reveling in the majestic feeling of being able to be free, even if it would only be for a moment until the electricity in her brain ran out, or her torture began she didnt care, she had Alex and her lips.


	8. A new week begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena wakes up in the DEO, a vague memory of the night before, when she see's Alex, she is mad at her and arter a heated discussion they work out what was happening, they made some very unexpected decisions moving forward, Lena agreeing to anything that Alex requested after all she had signed away all her rights, given her the Divorce she wanted, Alex was in charge right now, and that Left Lena in a unusual and vulnerable position;.

Lena finally woke up the next morning, she had dreamed of Alex kissing her and being safe in the arms of her love again so waking up alone caused her heart to drop. The next realisation was that she was not at home, clearly this was not a dream, she was at the DEO. She looked around. There was no one in the room but there was a bunch of flowers and an apology from Kara. Lena sighed and slipped her legs off the bed, wincing at the pain as she moved she held onto her side realising that there was something in there broken. Struggling to her feet she made her way towards the door, she needed to get out of here before Alex arrived, she was remembering more about what happened, she had failed in her attempt to kill herself and she had been saved by Alex, then she assaulted her at her place of work. As she made it through the door she came face to face with Alex, she looked tired, guilt pulled at her and she looked down at her hands before back to Alex.

“Alex, I don't know what to say first, I am sorry, thank you, good morning, everything seems somewhat contrived and inadequate”

Alex looked at Lena sadly because she couldn’t help it; everything was falling apart around her. How could this be that she would save her wife from killing herself. It was apparent to Alex then that she was doing a shitty job at making her wife happy and she felt that this time the failure would be too much to bear, she was used to being not good enough but the one thing that she didn't want was to be not good enough at being a wife.. 

That didn’t stop her from guiding her back to the bed, she may not feel good enough, but right now she knew that Lena wouldn't look after herself, so she was the best person, and sadly the only person for the job, she sat her down looking at Lena. 

“Lee, you are going to be in some pain for a little while because you know you have two broken ribs, because I needed to bring you back to life. What I really want to know is why you were taking all the pills Lena?” 

Alex had so many mixed emotions about this, taking any medication, let alone recreational drugs was not Lena but the proof was in her blood. 

Lena allowed Alex to guide her back to the meds bay, truth be told she was not feeling great the pain wasn't all, she also felt unsteady on her feet. The other truth is that the kiss they had shared before she passed out when she was brought to the DEO still lingered on her lips and in her memory, she had felt happy for the first time in what felt like forever, absently she touched her lips and smiled as she was guided. Alex’s words made no sense to her.

“I haven't been taking anything, Alex you know me better than that, yes I have been drinking way too much of late but I would never take anything, you know I am too scared of losing control of myself to put chemicals into my body.”

“Then how else would the chemicals have gotten there? They were making you insane. We literally had to flush it all out. Which was hard to come by because one of the most brilliant minds I have behind me in everything was on this damn bed. You say you didn’t take them so then how did they get there?” 

Alex needed to take a breather because she was getting pissy and she was letting her emotions get the better half of her which was probably because she almost lost the one that she loved. Trying to kill herself in many different ways and now she was saying that she didn’t know anything about it. 

“Why would you do something like that to me and Isabella? Why would you try to leave me a single mother? when we both agreed that we would always do whatever it took so neither one of us had to live that single mother life. We agreed that we both couldn’t handle being a single mother and as soon as it all goes to shit you try to kill yourself! How do you think that would have made our daughter feel?” 

Lena was guilt ridden, she was not thinking, she had planned everything to perfection and had everything arranged, and she would have succeeded too, it was all very carefully done to avoid being saved but it wasn’t her, she had promised Alex, she would never want to leave isabella, she loved them both with everything that she was, she wouldn't want to give them up, not one moment, the two days isabella was missing from her was excruciating, and Alex, well that was an entirely different kind of constant agony that she didn't feel she would ever truly learn to live with.

LSD, hydropomophone and scopolamine, Lena ran through the medication in her mind, the side effects were serious changes in the behaviour of an individual, paranoia and suicidal ideation, and Lena didn't have parkinsons, she was in pain but it was emotional not physical and Lena would never partake in any form of LSD she had no desire to have the darkest depths of her mind projected into reality to torment her. All together these were a cocktail of medications to push someone over the edge, to break them and have them fragile and controllable. Someone had done this to her and she didn't need to get a list of potential she knew who it would be.

“Alex I promise you I wasn't taking anything, and if I decided that I needed some chemical assistant, I wouldn't be taking that concoction, but things are making more sense to me, I have never contemplated taking this kind of action in my life, you know me Alex I fight, I strategize, I plan I don’t just give up, I would never do that to Isabella, I wouldn't do to her what my mother did to me. Alex you have to believe me, please don't take her away from me”

Lena wanted to plead that Alex would stay, that she wouldn't leave her alone but she couldn't, she couldn't tell her that she missed her, that she wanted her, that all she wanted in this world was to have her family back under one roof.

Alex looked at Lena and nods her head. At least she knew now that this wasn’t Lena’s intention not really. Which was good because if that was the case she wasn’t sure if she would ever be able to leave Lena out of her sight ever again, in fear that she would try to kill herself again. 

“Okay so your mother is behind all this, she has been working against you to try and poison our daughters mind. Your mother was the one who tried to kill me in front of our daughter the other day and she’s probably the one who was poisoning your drinks as well. I’m just glad that Isabella didn’t get a hold of it. I know you always want to try and give her the benefit of the doubt Lee, but look at what almost happened to you and Isabella. I could have lost you, Isabella could have lost us both. Is she really worth all the hassle because I honestly don’t think that she is. Not in a million years. I want both of you safe and sound, with me so I can be sure with her walking these……..”

Alex couldn’t help how emotional she was getting over the fact that her nerves had her rambling a bit or the tears that were threatening to spill out of her eyes because when it came to her family there was not a line she wasn’t willing to cross. Even if that meant the evil gene. 

“.........Streets then no one will be safe until she is put behind bars or dead. I swear Lena if she puts one finger on our daughter or you. There’s a line and I will cross it for the both of you.” 

With that being said she crossed her arms over her chest, not trying to be defensive as much as the need to hold herself together. 

“She keeps causing more and more difficulties within the alien world making my job more difficult and creating more need for the DEO. I know you don’t like the fact that I keep doing my job, Lena, but this isn’t something that I’m willing to just completely give up anytime soon. Look at all the good I’m doing. If I wasn’t here concerned about you I would have never found you. Maybe.. I just need to....” 

Alex couldn’t help but to let her words drift off as she looked at Lena with those sad eyes, she had become accustomed to the dulled green orbs over the bright iridescent emerald pools that had been ever present at the end of their marriage. The ones that said she was worried yet upset all in one. The eyes told her Lena needed something but she needed something too, and this time it was to make sure that Lena would be safe and sound, she needed the backing of the DEO and supergirl but Lillian was human, and a very real threat.  
. 

Lena listened, Lillian had caused a rift between her and Kara, tried to kill Alex and much, much more, all she wanted was to get her hands on Isabella, a new little perfect soul that she can darken and destroy. She had gotten away, oh of course she had, that was nothing if not expected, Lillian always had an exit plan, the only person that have ever been able to capture her was Lena herself and she would need to think about how to do that once she was recovered and she had what was taken, Alex, Isabella and even Kara. It was Lillian causing the attacks. Lillian behind everything, how long had she been trying to push a wedge between them.

“She is not going to win, she will not get her venomous hands on our daughter, believe me Alex I am not going anywhere I wouldn't leave her………”

Lena dropped to a whisper “.....or you”

Alex could tell that Lena was upset and scared and that is what broke her. It broke her that Lena needed her, needed protection again and Alex was in need too, she needed to be there for Lena. The two of them always wanting more from each other but never actually telling each other that. Actually they would never admit it to one another because deep down in their hearts they both believed that they were doing what was best for them and their daughter however they didn't entirely believe that now.

“Well I think I have a solution to our current issues Lena, we can have days when you have Alex and Isabella together, then I can be there and help keep you both safe. It will put both of our minds at rest, it could be good for Isabella. Don’t you think? I just want to make sure that Isabella is safe.” 

Alex wasn’t good at this whole feeling thing. Actually, she was out of practice with it since she wasn’t with Lena anymore, she wanted them both, home, safe, protected, to tell her she loved them, but the words didn't come. 

Lena wasn't sure that Alex was being completely honest with her, she could believe that she was worried that Isabella wasn't completely safe with the Luthor at the moment, especially not with her mother still out there and now, most likely very mad and backed into a corner, what had she been thinking, a cornered Luthor is the most dangerous kind. Just like a wild animal Lillian would be back stronger and wilder than ever. There was something more in Alex’s eyes, something more there, a softness in her hardened exterior, love in the caramel eyes, could it be that Alex felt the same, that she wanted to have their family too.

“I understand Alex, maybe we could all stay at the house, that we could take her out together if your concerned, and I agree until we are sure the medication is completely out of me I should not be alone, I need to work out what my mother's next plan will be, and we need someone to make sure Isabella is ok, we have plenty of room, we can each take a guest room.”

Alex didn’t think that it would have been so easy to talk Lena into moving back into their home. Of course it was only supposed to be until she was better but Alex couldn’t help the thought that maybe she could make Lena fall back in love with her, because it meant so much to her. Alex wanted her Lena back and she wanted to be a family with her and have her there with her so much. To hold her. It was like a lightning bolt of reality when Lena said about the spare rooms, it was not that she had expected them to go back to being intimate or sleeping together, but the separate rooms made it clear it was off limits. 

“I think you should at least take our old room. You love the bed and the bath there. It would be best and easier to heal. I don’t want you working too closely on this while you are still in recovery okay? I don’t need you getting hurt anymore.” 

Then there was also the Izzy factor because that little girl would be so happy if the two of them got back together.

Kara had arrived at Midvale and landed with a small thud, enough to tell her mother that she was there which meant she was greeted with a warm hug, she was in desperate need of that from her mother right now, everything was too much for her, she was feeling the guilt of betraying Lena, not being there in time, letting Lillian go and worse than that the pain etched on her face when she was holding Lena, the pain in her eyes was breaking, Kara had never seen her sister like that, that love it was everything and she would do anything to help.

“Eliza, where is Izzy?”

Eliza smiled softly at Kara because it was always important to see her daughter. The thing was all of it made sense. The reason that they had these daughters even if one of them was adopted was for these little moments. 

“Izzy is taking a nap because we had a long fun day and she was very tired. Come on let’s go into the kitchen and get some chocolate pecan pie and have a little chat about whatever is on your mind, Kara.” 

Eliza smiled turning as she walked into the kitchen. 

Kara followed her into the kitchen and took a seat, she was still thinking about what had happened and her brows were pulled together, she was picking at her pie which was possibly more of a sign that something was wrong than the crinkle but she was so worried about Alex and Lena.

“We found her, well Alex found her, I was late, way too late I allowed myself to be pulled into a dialogue with Lillian, if it had not been for Alex she wouldn't have made it, it was too close, even with all my powers I messed up, Alex was so broken and I couldn't do anything. She loves her so much I want to help her but Lena isn't talking to me so I can't”

Eliza hated the way that these three were being with each other but the thing is that all of them trusted each other and came to her because they knew that she wouldn’t interfere with the way they were handling things and she would just give them some kind of advice without being pushy. 

“Well, we all knew that Alex wasn’t going to stop till she had Lena home and safe. After all, They can both be as stubborn as they want, but we both know that those two belong together even if they won’t admit it now. Don’t beat yourself up over this, Lillian is a wrench for better terms and she deserved to be dealt with. Afterall she is the reason that we are even in this position with Lena. She also did try to kill your sister.” 

She was very well informed with everything that was going on; that was the only way that Alex would feel safe with letting Eliza keep Isabella. 

“Oh and make sure to just keep showing the both of them how sorry you are. You know they will come around sooner or later.” 

Kara listened to Eliza, she was right, she made preparations on her phone for a new bunch of flowers to be sent every day to Lena’s office at LCorp and she would drop off fresh pastries from france every morning until she would hear her out. After all it was a momentary lapse, clouded by the desire to protect her sister from pain, the only thing that ever trumped Lena with Kara was Alex and Isabella, and her lapse happened when both were threatened.

“I am just going to check in with Alex and Lena”

Kara to A Danvers:

“Hey Alex Izzy is fine, Eliza has filled her full of pecan pie, tired her out and she is sleeping, how is Lena? Do you need me? Would you like me to bring Izzy home?”

Alex looked at Lena biting her lip hard because if it was up to her she wouldn’t bring her home just yet. After all Lillian was still out there. 

Alex handed her phone to Lena so she could read the text message. 

“What do you think I should say to her? I don’t want to be the only one making this call because it isn’t up to me. Although If it were up to me I would tell her that I’m glad that Izzy is sleeping and that you are doing okay. That I don’t need her and that she shouldn’t bring Izzy home just yet. Hear me out on why I would tell her not to bring our daughter home just yet. I would tell her that because I think right now I need to be concentrating on you and seeing how it is that I could be helping you and if I cuddle you tonight it wouldn’t be getting our daughters hopes up about us getting back together.” 

Lena heard the words and couldn't believe what Alex was saying. She was talking about cuddling and holding her, her mind wandered to early evenings where Alex would just snuggle in behind her and hold her while they watched television, listened to music and yes sometimes while they talked and cried. The comforting arms of her love were the rhemedy to all lifes ills, or thats how it felt to Lena, how she craved that now, truth be known she had craved it since before the split, but somethig in the women meant that before they split that part of them had been lost, lost in the fighting and the disagreements, even that special time after sex had gone, Lena wanted it back she wanted it all she just couldnt say it. 

Alex finally took a breath. Yes, the cuddling would be hard on Isabella but for her it would make her feel helpless because she would want to do this every single night but she knew she couldn’t. So Alex would just take what she could and she would just have to be able to not need it as much after Lena was okay. To be honest, however, she wasn’t sure that she would be able to contain her feelings from herself. Let alone from her mother. Alex knew no doubt that she would have to go up and talk to her mother about all this because it was a lot for her to be dealing with on her own. 

Lena looked at Alex, Lena wanted to have a little time before seeing Isabella, as much as she wanted to see her she didn't want to worry her, and she knew that right now with the pain she was in and after what had happened she would be in no fit state to see her beautiful little girl. She was worried and wanted to talk more to Alex before their daughter was brought back.

“I want to see her so badly, she must have been worried when I did not arrive this morning, oh god Alex I have failed her so badly, I need to be presentable, be myself before I see her, a good night's sleep and something to eat, I don't want to upset her more, Alex please, can we just wait until tomorrow?”

Alex looked at Lena as she talked. The morning was still sooner than she would have liked to have their daughter back in their home. At the same time it felt like they have been away from her for way too long already. Alex did understand what Lena meant though. Pulling out her phone she responded to her sister. 

Text to Kara. 

‘Kara, Lena is doing just fine but she will need a little time so please don’t bring her back tonight and wait till the morning or afternoon to bring her back, make sure to drop her off at the brownstone. I won’t be needing you tonight, go ahead and spend time with Mom. I'm sure she would love that. She’s a little lonely these days.’

Alex hit sent and watched as it delivered before looking at Lena. She wanted to take her out on a date like many times before but knew that maybe that wouldn’t be the smartest of choices but she could always hope for it. After all the two were married. Isn’t that what normal married couples did? 

Right the divorce they weren’t going to be married for much longer. Fucking hell. All this drama is finding her soon to be wife to just have her heart ripping at the seams. The love of her life has had enough of her. Of the hero that was inside of her and decided that she no longer wanted Alex the one that had the job of a lifetime. Something that she loved doing. No, Lena wanted her to be a stay at home mother, a trophy wife nonetheless and that wasn’t her. 

Even with all this information, it never stopped Alex from loving her from needing her. That was the thing. She was madly in love with her. 

“Well, Lee, you haven’t eaten since god knows when and I’m starving because I’ve had a busy active day today. So what do you say that we go out and get something to eat? I'll pay.” 

She hoped that seemed casual enough like she wasn’t trying to save a marriage that meant everything to her. That was the rough part, because she knew that no matter what Lena didn’t want her. Didn’t want her but they would both share Isabella because neither of them would walk away from her. 

After suggestion of food she looked at Lena and smiled pulling her into her arms slightly. She wanted all this and more and having Lena into those arms was everything she didn’t know she needed. 

Lena couldn't help it she snuggled into Alex into the strong arms of her love, she was exhausted and needed rest but Alex suggesting that they eat together was the first sign of hope that she had in months, she wondered how long she was being poisoned by the drugs in her system, would they be together still was there hope? the way alex wrapped her in her arms, it was everything, she could feel the strength and the love in them, and just wanted to bask in it for longer.

“I think that is a great idea Alex, some food and time to talk, then we can discuss what we are going to do moving forward, we need to work together if we are going to keep our family safe from my mother.”

Alex would hold Lena in her arms for as long as Lena wanted her to. The thing was no one made her feel this way but Lena. The way that Lena snuggled into her arms was everything because she could tell that she was exhausted and she knew that Lena couldn’t hide who she was or how she felt about her when she was this way. Which could be both a good and bad idea. 

“I’m glad that you think that is a great idea. Yes, we really need to talk about that. We always protect our family no matter what we are keeping them safe from.” 

Without much thought of it Alex kissed the top of Lena’s head. 

Lena couldn't believe how familiar this all felt, how comforted she was, how special she felt wrapped in the arms of her beloved Alex, she had forgotten the way it felt, how perfect, how she melted at the touch of the woman now kissing her head. Lena closed her eyes and sighed, it was when Alex wasn't thinking she was most soft and gentle, when noone was paying attention she stole Lena’s heart and breath, this was her Alex, the one that only showed herself in Lena’s arms. She couldn't help but wonder, if she had spoken to her, talked about them both doing something different, she wanted Alex to have a life, a purpose just as she did, but she wanted them both to be together and with their daughter. Neither woman could stay at home Lena knew that and that is not what she wanted, she didn't want to change Alex, she loved her just as she was more than anything in the world with the exception of that small perfect version of the two of them.

“I think that sounds lovely Alex, thank you, the day has definitely taken its toll and I would like nothing more than to just talk, eat and if your happy to, I would be grateful to have you hold me, till I fall asleep”

Lena didn't want Alex to leave at all but this was about as much vulnerability as she could manage in one day. After all, everything was in alex’s hands now, she had signed everything over, she no longer had any power in the relationship and she had to maintain what little dignity she had.

Alex smiled softly as she listened to Lena because this was everything and maybe she did owe something to Lillian a thank you? For chasing these two estranged lovers back to one another. 

“This sounds wonderful and I would be delighted to hold you till you fall asleep as long as you promise that I can also sleep there tonight and not worry about going to another room.” 

She wouldn’t admit to Lena just how terrible her sleep had been since the two of them have not been sharing the same bedroom. She could never do such a thing. Alex did have pride and maybe that pride was too much to her. 

Lena nodded against Alex shoulder she didn't try to speak for fear that she would break again, she had been unable to sleep without a considerable amount of alcohol or Isabella with her, the last few days had really been the worst of her life, and although she was sure that they were divorced this was a glimmer of hope that maybe things could be even if only for one night the way they used to be.

Lena let Alex lead her out to the car and they drove to the restaurant, when Lena looked at where Alex had taken them it took all her strength not to cry, this was the first place Alex had ever taken her. Maybe a fresh start to whatever they were going to become.

“This is great,I love pasta here, it is just what I need a good healthy meal”

Alex looked at Lena. She was shocked that Lena said that. Had she not been cooking every night like she used to do for the family. That was one of the things that Isabella loved about her. So this was all like brand new to her. The change in Lena kinda took her breath away in ways that she didn’t even know was happening. 

“Yes, I love pasta here as well. I’m sure that isn’t true, you are a better cook than any place we have ever been too. Isabella and I both love your cooking.” 

As they walked into the restaurant, Alex reached out to grab Lena’s hand letting their pinkies touch before she truly thought about it and let her hand drop to the side instead. This was proving to be more and more difficult than she wanted to admit. 

Lena’s heart jumped at the touch of Alex’s hand and she moved her hand to take hold of Alex’s but she took it away, Alex had changed her mind and Lena felt her hope slip away with the soft stroke of her pinky finger as alex removed her hand, clearly she was given the position of guardian, to make sure the crazy Luthor didnt do anything stupid, she didnt want to be there, this didnt mean so much to Alex as it had started to mean to Lena, the insistance on staying all night was probably so that Alex didnt have to sit outside the door on guard. She felt her shoulders slump and she moved through to the table.

Sitting down Lena waited for the waiter, and then for the food before she spoke again. She was nervous but she knew that whatever Alex insisted on was going to have to stand at least for now, maybe her Lawyers could get some custody back, the evidence that she was being drugged would hopefully mean that she could have her rights back.

“So what is it you want for me to do to spend time with Isabella? I am sure that you have some stipulations? Other than being with her, together?”

Alex pulled out the chair for Lena to sit down before walking over and sitting at her side of the table before shaking her head. What the fuck was Lena thinking? Those words hurt more than not being able to hold Lena’s hand had hurt. 

“First of all, Lena I have no idea what you mean. I said about both of us being with her until we figure out a way to get your mother under control. She’s a bad egg and can’t be trusted. She nearly had me killed, Lee. I would never take our daughter away from you. If it’s what you think then you can have her by yourself. I was hoping to just be able to keep both of you safe. You know I’m more than capable of that.” 

With that Alex’s eyes filled with tears she wiped them away. No way would she let her ex wife see her cry. 

“As for all of your things that you left to me. I’ll have them signed right back over to you. I don’t know who you think I am, but I’m none of these versions of me that you have in your head. This person wasn’t hurt to not hold your hand but me Lena it hurt every fiber in me to give you space and what you wanted and by not holding that hand in mine was because I’m respectful to you and I always give you what you want at the end of it all. I love you, Lee. The sooner you realize that I’m not just saying all this the sooner you will see that I would never do anything to hurt you or our child.” 

Alex ran a hand through her hair before picking up the menu to block how glassy her eyes were becoming. She would just order something different. 

Lena watched Alex’s face turn dark as she spoke, she had not meant it to sound so harsh, she just lashed out because she was hurting, again, and as always Alex was there, Alex always got the brunt of it whenever there was something wrong with Lena, not because she deserved it, or because you lash out at those you love, but because Alex, was always there when Lena needed her, when lena was hurting, when lena had been hurt or was scared and vulnerable, it had been alex for so long that Lena picked up her phone a million times a day, because she wasn't there now and it was all Lena’s fault.

She heard the hurt, she saw the tears, and the words hit her in the heart like bullets, if she could have been killed with words the one alex spoke would have killed her on the spot.

“I know exactly who you are Alex, the will takes care of you and our daughter, and it needs to stay as it is……….”

Alex had taken a chance and she needed to as well, Lena wasn't feeling brave, she didn't feel like she had anything left this day had been so long. Lena continued quietly as she pulled away the menu.

“......... I wanted you to hold my hand, I want you to care, to protect us, I wouldn't trust anyone else, I am sorry, I always do this, I don't want to push you away, you used to know that, you could tell, have I hurt you that much that you have given up on me?”

Alex looked back at Lena she always forgot how well Lena knew her and that was something that would still take some getting used to. It was always the same thing and different things all at the same time. They have both done so spetacular at pushing each other away that even this was hurting them both and how they handled each other. 

“I didn’t hold your hand because I didn’t know that you wanted me to hold it and I need you to know that I wasn’t going to push you into something if it’s not what you wanted. I would have loved too, every part of me to know that is what you wanted because I would have taken your hand without a second thought.” 

Alex looked down before chewing on her lip because she was nervous and that was just what Alex did. It was a little quirk that Lena seemed to have loved at one point. 

“I have not given up on you, Lena and I never will give up on you. I just don’t know what else you want from me. I’m trying so hard to be the one that you need and trust and it seems like even now I don’t have the words that you are looking for and I don’t know how to fix any of that. I don’t know how I can fix the trust that we used to have for each other. I want you to trust me so much but I can’t force it either.” 

Alex looked up to look around the restaurant to see where the waitress was to see just how much time they had or if her important conversation was going to be cut short because it seemed like that was how it worked like the universe was against her and would do anything to rip her moments away from her. No matter how badly she needed them. 

Lena watched as Alex bit her lip and a soft smile pulled at her lip, her heart squeezed ever so slightly at the once familiar sight, renewed in front of her now. Alex was nervous and unsure of herself, the kind of look she only had when she was truly going to allow herself to be open, and was worried about how it would play out. It was one of the sexiest things Alex did, because once she bit her lip Lena knew that she would be able to get the whole of Alex’s heart handed to her for safe keeping. There was nothing sexier to Lena than when someone so strong, allowed herself to be so vulnerable.

Lena wanted to move around the table, to take her hands and place kisses in them, to lay her head on Alex’s shoulder and whisper to her that it was all going to be ok, that she was there and that together they could do anything. She didn't move, she looked at Alex looking around, looking for her food, maybe.

“Alex I need you to hear me when I say this. There is no one on this earth that I trust more than you, and i will always love you, i gave you the whole of my heart, regardless of its condition you accepted it, knowing that I, well that my life had left its scars, that I found everything hard, trusting, loving, being in a relationship, you made me better at it all, and gave me our daughter. I ………”

Lena had wanted to say that she wanted to be with her, that she wanted to try again, that she would do whatever was needed, therapy, sell LCorp, buy a house in Midvale whatever Alex wanted, just as long as she had her Alex back, that Isabella had both her moms, because Lena was starting to believe that it was what they all wanted. But she was cut off by a very chatty waitress and the moment was lost.

Alex was about to respond to tell Lena just everything that was on her mind but she couldn’t do that not in a million years. With the waitress that was now over at the table the moment was lost because Alex was a wimp at opening up after the moments were lost. She knew that Lena would know that as well. 

Finally the waitress that was buzzing around chatting about how the food was and did they need this or that general chit chat that was not needed as she filled glasses, was done. She excused herself but Lena knew that she had taken that moment to long, that look on Alex’s face said that talking was done. Lena looked down at her food, her appetite completely gone and pushed the pasta around her plate for a moment.

“Are you nearly finished Alex? I think I just want to go home now.”

“You want to go home now? What did I do?” 

Alex’s voice was so soft and she watched and noticed how Lena nearly ate any of her food which didn’t settle well with Alex at all. Surely Lena was hungry. 

“You barely touched your food I don’t think going home without you eating would be the best move.” 

Lena looked up and smiled softly at Alex, she always did that, she always blamed herself and thought that she had done something wrong, but it was not often the case, in this case, Lena didn't want to stay there with everything that was now to be left unsaid hanging in the air trying to choke her, just stifling her ability to breath easy, she had almost had a completely honest conversation with Alex for the first time in months, was in a place were she was building up to ask alex to stay with her, to give her another chance and it had been snatched away. The regret and disappointment stung like salt on an already open wound and she felt sick.

“I am not very hungry, how about we take it to go? I just want to sleep if you're still happy to do that?”

Alex looked at Lena because yes she would always be happy to do that with Lena although this time it would be very different because they wouldn’t need an excuse to get tired. 

“Of course let’s go.” 

With that being said Alex got them boxes to go and boxed it up and paid for the food knowing that Lena wanted to leave. 

“After you..” 

Alex’s voice was so soft and gentle. 

Lena left with Alex, following her and slid into the car when Alex opened the door. The emotion of the day, and the discussion finally catching up with Lena she yawned and looked at Alex, hoping for some glimmer that she would continue, that she would open back up, but there was nothing, they drove back to the brownstone in silence. Although the silence was not uncomfortable as it had been in the recent past, the fact that their conversation was over, gave Lena less incentive to fight the tiredness, her body was weak and she needed more rest. She hadn't been sleeping without alcohol and that isn't true sleep and it would appear she was being drugged too, the promise that Alex would hold her was all she needed to forgo any further attempts to eat or talk. 

They pulled up to the brownstone and Lena opened the door for the first time in what felt like forever Lena breathed easy in her own home, she headed straight up to their bedroom and put on her night clothes knowing Alex would take care of the food. It was one of the things that she loved about Alex, she always allowed everyone else to relax while she made sure everything was finished and safe. She slipped into the bed on her side and waited for Alex, just needing her to be her Alex once again and if she couldn't have it forever at least she would have it tonight when she really needed it. Lena’s heart both melted and broke at the knock on the door. Part of her wanted Alex to come in and claim what was hers, her room, her bed, her wife, the other part loved that Alex respected her this much and wanted her to be comfortable.

Alex had put the food away and even looked around the house that hasn't been touched since both of them lived there, she secured the door and made sure that everything was locked. She wanted to make sure that Lena had enough time to get ready. She didn't want to intrude, she also wanted to give herself time to calm down. She had opened up and stopped in the restaurant and now she was faced with opening herself up again in a different way. She decided that for the ability to hold Lena for one night she could take the pain if it was the last, infact just incase it was she would cherish it and make a memory that would satisfy for a lifetime then walked up and knocked on the door. Once she was inside the room she changed into her night clothes before going over and crawling into bed and crawling behind Lena, her legs going behind her ass and her right hand going under her head to grab her hand and place it over Lena’s heart. Alex’s left hand pulling Lena close by her hips before it relaxed at the top of her waistband. 

“Goodnight, Love. Sleep well. I..Love you.” 

She thought about it and said it with her eyes closed.


	9. Collateral damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after a much needed rest in the arms of her love Lena and Alex decide to try to make more time for all three of them to be together, Izzy wants to go home but the toll of the break up and the shared custody has finally bubbled to the surface and now they are dealing with the collateral damage.

Lena had fallen asleep shortly after Alex had wrapped her up, the way she held her hand and placed it over her heart, the softness of the tender care in that action, with the possessive nature of the way she pulled her into her and wrapped herself around Lena’s frame had the most amazing effect. It was like when she was wrapped up like that by Alex, she was someone’s everything, protected, loved and at the same time she felt that she wasn't broken any more. The tiny shards of her shattered heart seemed to instantly knit back together as she found herself back in the comfort of Alex’s arms. Hearing Alex say I love you caused her heart to pulsate in her chest, the way only Alex could and all at once and so easily unconsciousness found her.

Lena woke as always completely alert, and for the first time in as long as she could remember she wasn't tired. She had a wonderful dream that Alex was there and that she was safe and loved, as her consciousness drifted to her body she could feel the protective arm still over her and the hand holding hers. The only thing she needed to make this perfect was her little Izzy pop laying with them. Lena didn't want to wake Alex, she didn't want to move at all, she just wanted to keep this feeling alive, she feared that once they were both awake this feeling would be gone, and things would go back to being hard, and lonely. She closed her eyes tightly and whispered, “please don’t leave Alex”

Alex was awake and holding Lena. She had been awake for some time now. Alex couldn’t cope, she didn’t want to admit it. All the choices she had with Lena to tell her how she truly felt about her was heart wrenching and she knew that she needed to be honest with her but the thing was simple. Alexandra Danvers was scared. The most scared she had ever been in her life. 

Alex had already lost Lena once and she didn’t know if she could handle that again for the second time. The second time losing her over the same fight that always occurs with them. Not only that but she wasn’t sure that she could put her daughter through all the pain of seeing her mother’s go from being happy to being miserable all over again. Fuck, how she loved Lena Luthor but could she really admit it in this point? No, she will just lay here with her eyes closed and pretend like she didn’t hear a single thing. 

Kara was pulled out of bed by Izzy at six in the morning, she was awake anyway as the moment the sun rose in the sky her kryptonian cells woke her as they sucked in the radiation and topped themselves up, but that didn't change the fact that it was very early. Looking at the beautiful girl she smiled, Izzy wasn't her normal bubbly self, maybe she really had started to hate Kara, had Lillian won. Kara took a deep breath and smiled.

“Good morning Izzy, are you ready for breakfast, shall we see if Nanny has chocolate chip pancakes we can make some up, and maybe take her breakfast in bed?”

Isabella looked at Kara because she was sad, scared and broken. It was like not only did Lena not want her but now Alex had left her too. Isabella knew she had to be strong because at least she still had her Grandma and Kara. Those two would always want her. So she put on one big fake smile as she rubbed her eyes. 

“Morning auntie Kar Kar, yes let’s see shall we? Grandma has more downstairs, we had waffles yesterday.” 

Kara’s heart melted as the little one spoke, there was no way that she would ever not love her, she was sassy and cute, and a real handful even for a kryptonian but Izzy was the most beautiful little girl in the world as far as Kara was concerned and there was nothing that could happen that would change that, but it was very early and she had not had a message from Alex to bring her home yet.

“I love you to the moon and back, and that's a long long way trust me I have been, I will always love you Izzy and so does Mommy and Moma, they are both at home, and they will be waiting for you, but it is very early, how about breakfast first, you know that Aunty Kar Kar needs food if she is going to fly”

Kara pulled out her Phone and messaged Alex and Lena there was a chance that one of them may be up.

Kara - Luthor danvers group

“There is a cutie awake here asking for her Mommy and her Momma, distracting with sugar, let me know when I can bring her home”

Isabella listened to Kara before nodding her head. It was always hard to believe that because sometimes she doubted that, because her moms would always fight with one another. It wasn’t pleasant feeling like the child of a world war three. 

“You sure Auntie Kar Kar, I sure it not true. They probably leave me, I only get one a day. They not want me, or each other.” 

It could easily be seen that the child had been feeling like she was the tug of war and both her parents were losing. 

Kara’s heart broke, for the first time she could see why Lena had been so insistent about Alex’s job, looking at the little face of Izzy in so much pain so worried she felt completely helpless and that was hard to take for a hero, she wondered if Alex and Lena knew about this and what she could do to help. Right now it was breakfast and lots of love from both her and Eliza that was in store for Izzy while they wait for a message.

Lena was still laying in Alex’s arms when she heard both the phones beep, she internally chastised who every had called her from this perfect moment, terrified that the light of day would have Alex retreat again, distance herself, she was just getting to see her beloved Alex back in her life, the real one, she was opening up. Lena wanted nothing more than for this to continue but she couldn't bring herself to ask for what she needed, not after what she had done, she had thrown it all away and didn't deserve it, but she would do anything she could to show Alex that she was there, that she loved her. She felt Alex move and every inch of Alex’s arm that moved from her, ever tiny bit of distance she felt her heart began to shatter once more, allowing in the dread and pain once more.

Alex didn’t mean anything by slipping away to look at her phone she just wanted to make sure that everyone was okay. She needed to make sure that everyone was okay. Even if she hated mornings but holding Lena this morning and pretending to be asleep that may have gotten Alex from being less grumpy in the morning. If she could wake up like that every day she would do it all it every single day. 

Alex looked at Lena. 

“It was just Kara telling us that Izzy is up and she’s going to keep her busy with sugar so let’s hope not too much or we will have a bouncing child.” 

With that Alex responded to her sister. 

Group chat- Danvers-Luthor 

‘Thank you, Kara. Look after her not a lot of sweets. I’ll message you when we are both up and ready for the day. Keep her safe. Give her hugs and kisses from us.’ 

With the text being sent Alex didn’t think much of it when she pulled Lena into her kissing the top of her forehead. 

“Don’t look so sad, Lee. I had to text the sister back or she might have brought Izzy back straight away. I know that just like me, even if we both won’t say it that we want to take this in even for a little bit. So don’t act like you don’t wish to do so.” 

Alex closes her eyes because she wanted to get lost in this moment. Wanted to remember every single smell of Lena and to remember the way that Lena felt in her arms because since the divorce was happening she was kinda forgetting what it felt like to be so close to Lena and that tore her more than anything. To forget all these little things in her life. 

Lena thought about it for a moment, Izzy would make this perfect but what if Alex didn't want to be with her and her daughter what if the living arrangements were just so she did not go off the deep end again, the medication that she had been slipped were still in her body and she was still feeling that everyone and everything was against her she just couldn't snap out of it. She hated her mother for this more than anything, taking away the one thing that she could always rely on except that was for Alex, her mind. She hadn't even registered the change on her face until Alex mentioned it.

“It is not that, I am sorry Alex, I was thinking, I am not sad that your here or that you asked kara to wait until we are up, I haven't slept this well for a long time, you always have a way of making me feel safe.” 

Lena chanced being open, her Alex was still here and to keep her she had to expose herself and as frightening as that was especially now, she wanted Alex, she had always wanted Alex.

Alex couldn’t help but smile softly at Lena, when Lena was so raw with her it was like she knew how hard that she was actually trying and that was something to Alex. No matter what she would always listen to her. 

“Okay so would you like to explain to me what it was that you were thinking of? Thank you, I just want to bask in this for a little longer is all. I haven’t slept that well in a very long time either to be honest.” 

Alex could get use to actually being able to sleep and being able to hold Lena in her arms. Everything felt like the way that it should have felt always and forever no matter what. It was like this huge part of her was holding onto something. Never being the one to let go. 

Lena snuggled closer to Alex if she was going to talk about this then she needed two things right now, the first was to be held as close to Alex as possible, protected and calm. She would also need for Alex to not look at her right now, this was a level of vulnerable that Lena had not been for a very long time, and with her mind not being quite as trustworthy as normal, it was not going to be easy.

“I am sure that it is my mother that gave me the medication, and she has taken my mind away, I couldn't thing, I was depressed and paranoid and I wasn't able to see a way clear. I have never given up in my life, and even when things have been bad, Lex’s death, the trial, everything I was safe, I was protected, because the only thing i have ever trusted more than me is you. Without you I retreated into my mind to keep me safe, and she took it, and it still doesn't feel right, I keep second guessing everything, pushing everyone away, but I don't want to.”

Alex closed her eyes as she held Lena close to her. Alex knew what Lena needed and she wouldn’t admit to it because it was her actions that would speak louder this time. Alex was going to listen to everything and figure out how to talk to Lena about it all. 

“I know and it will make so much sense in due time, love. I want you to know that no matter what happened I’m here and no matter where we go in our life I’ll always protect you. You are the mother of my child and for that I’ll always protect you.” 

Alex opens her eyes as her hands stroked up and down her arm. 

Lena deflated a little was that all it was, because she was Isabella’s mother, she didn't want to believe it she could feel Alex, she could feel the love, the care, that couldn't be there is she didnt care for Lena personally. She could feel the way she was stroking her arm, that was always what she did, when ever Lena struggled to open up another one of her itty bitty boxes and let Alex see a little more, she just softly stroked her not speaking just reassuring her that she was there. It was comforting. She relaxed into it and just stayed still until there was another beep.

Kara was unable to take Izzy’s broken face any longer, she was trying so hard to be happy and play, but the words were ringing in her head. She looked at her watch if she took Izzy back by eight then she could have both her parents for a bit before one went to work, maybe that would help.

Group chat- Danvers-Luthor 

“Hey guys, Izzy isn't quite right I think all this disruption has upset her, she needs some mommy cuddles and some momma cuddles maybe a group hug or something, she isn't even laughing at my jokes, guys she needs you I need to bring her home.”

Alex did love the fact that she was with Lena and she kissed the top of her forehead before reaching over and reading the message before shaking her head. She was happy to be seeing her daughter soon. 

Group chat- Danvers-Luthor 

‘Okay sounds good Kara. Thank you for watching after here. Bring her home you might want to hurry up because Lee is going into work.’ 

Alex smiled and looked at the message once it was sent, she was happy Kara would get Izzy back beforeLena had to leave.

“Hey Lee, I told Kara to go ahead and bring Izzy home now, she is anxious to see us and you must want to see her as bad as I do?”

Lena had to go into LCorp it was getting to that time when she needed to get ready to go, she wasted her days with Isabella and now it was Alex’s days, that meant that she was needed at work. She knew that this would cause an argument with Alex, she was still in a lot of pain in her ribs, and they had no idea how Lillian had gotten the medication into her. She had to go in, because she was still alive none of the contingencies that she had put into place would be operational and someone had to do her job. Already regretting the movement Lena slipped out of bed and headed to the shower.

“I have to get ready for work, if I am going to see Isabella before I leave, I was thinking that I should run tests on everything held in my office to see if I can find the source of the chemicals, and that maybe until I know who I can trust I should only eat away from LCorp. I would really appreciate it if I could see Isabella today”

Alex hated the thought of Lena going into work. She had planned for it to be a family day, so she could watch over Lena and make sure that she was safe and sound. Alex even made sure that everything at the DEO was taken care of. Alex wouldn’t say any of this to Lena however, because she didn’t want to make Lena feel like a piece of shit and she really didn’t want to fight with her on the first day of being together. That would have been just terrible. Knowing their track record it would have been really bad. 

“I can always swing over with Isabella and help run some of your tests with you that way you can get out early and we can go on a lunch date with our daughter or even go to the lake and have a panic depending on what you would like. I’m sure Isabella would love to see you. I thought you wanted us to all stay at the brownstone till we figured all this out.” 

Lena smiled, Alex was clearly trying hard to ensure they didn't fight she really appreciated that and the offer of lunch was an amazing time with Isabella and Alex was all that she had been wanting for months. Maybe Lillian had done her a favour, she was finally talking to Alex, finally getting to have a glimpse of hope. Smiling she nodded and headed into the bathroom returning dressed and ready. She hadn't thought about it when she chose her outfit but she was wearing Alex’s favorite combination, the off the shoulder red shirt with the black pants and her hair was up on one side exposing her neck and down the other cascading over her shoulder. She was placing the earrings Alex got her for their first anniversary in her ears as she looked up smiling.

“I could pop to the market on the way home and cook tonight, if your still happy for us all to stay here together, I miss having someone to cook for, and I miss the way you and Isabella fight over the garlic bread”

Alex couldn’t help but to check out Lena as she changed into her favorite outfit. The way that her eyes so easily checked her out was like many of the times before and honestly she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. The way that they seemed to easily fit together was like many times in their relationship. Early years. Oh if she could go back to those days she would. She missed Lena so much that it hurt her. The thought of having her next to her was impossible and she wanted it all. Was it possible for Alex to have everything that she ever dreamed of? 

Alex just hoped that she wasn’t pushing Lena to far and quickly. Not after almost losing her last night. She couldn’t bare the thought of pushing her till she and Isabella lost her. 

Alex couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped her lips when she heard Lena talk about Isabella. 

“Oh that sounds wonderful. I haven’t had a home cooked meal in forever and I do really miss it. So that would however be fabulous. As for the garlic bread, I will eat it all. It’s mine. What are you going to cook for dinner? Do you need help? Anything I can do?” 

Lena looked up, she knew full well that if she was mentioning garlic bread it would be lasagna and it would be home made from scratch meaning that she would be leaving early, and that Izzy would have much more garlic bread than Alex did. Lena knew that Alex also knew there was only one thing that she wanted from Alex when she was cooking and that was for her to be out of the kitchen and away from the area completely, so that she didn't distract her or add anything.

“You said the other day that Isabella wanted Lasagna, which you know I will be cooking alone in the kitchen, as I watch my girls playing in the backyard, Isabella keeping you from adding things that shouldn't be in the dish, you also know you always give in and give her your bread”

Lena had been smirking as she spoke looking at Alex through the mirrored reflection. The conversation so normal, so routine that she had not even realised what she had said.

Alex couldn’t help but smile brightly as she listened to Lena talk and go on about what was being said to her. Okay the adding stuff in only happened once. In Alex’s defense however she was really bored. 

“Okay fine but just so you know I would add so much more into the dish and make it so kickass that even you would love it. Ohhh, either I could play or we can each make our own dish. We could then try it all and pick a winner. The winner would get to pick a movie or a game or something. Oh that sounds silly. I’ll just leave it to you.” 

Alex’s eyes were shining through because it was amazing. This felt like they were back to being normal and together once and for all. 

Lena couldn't help but laugh, the sound was strange coming from her she had not heard her own laugh in a while. It came so easily but sounded so strange. Through her laughter she managed to get out her sentence.

“Oh Alex, that is the worst idea I have ever heard, you know I play to win and you're a terrible loser not to mention you can't cook, I wouldn't put our daughter through that. I tell you what though I will pick up popcorn and you can get a movie as long as you promise not to cook, your choice.”

Lena had moved over to the bed and kissed Alex on the cheek she always had when she was being a little sassy to her and then looked up she could hear her, Kara had finally arrived meaning she could have some time with Isabella before she left, she opened the door and headed to the stairs.

Alex couldn’t help but smirk the thought was amazing. It was so easy to fall right back into place because of how much she truly loved Lena and the way the two of them joked around was like nothing in this world. 

“Okay! Fine! I won’t cook but only because you don’t want to see me cook. If you ever change your mind however let me know and I’ll try to cook something. I’m not terrible at cooking however. You just think I am. I’ll pick up the movie however.” 

Lena smiled as she made her way down the stairs, and into the kitchen she didn't want to see Kara but that was the only way she would have been able to see Isabella before. The moment she entered the kitchen she could see her forgetting the pain in her ribs, Lena picked her up snuggling into her and swung her around. She wasn't quite the same, she didn't laugh of go floppy like normal and lena stopped peppering her with kisses.

“My little Izzy pop how much I have missed you, I want to hear all about time with Mommy, Aunty Kar, Kar, and Grandma. We don't have much time now the car will be here soon Momma has to go to work, but you can tell me all about it at lunch or over dinner.”

Isabella looked at Lena and she couldn’t help the sadness in her eyes and let alone in her voice. She hated being a child of divorce. It was hard on her even if no one actually knew just how much it was hurting her. 

“I miss you too. You didn't come, no days with me. I miss you. You left. Work more than time with me.. Go away.” 

With that Isabella took off running up the steps and slamming her bedroom door and crawling into her bed to finally let the tears roll down her face. 

Alex missed everything because she decided to get in the shower and when she came downstairs in her normal wear she looked at Lena going over to kiss her shoulder. 

“Where did our daughter walk off to? I thought she would be spending the little time she had with you since she missed you so much.” 

Lena’s heart broke, it was bad enough that she had thought about leaving her, bad enough that with this confounded cocktail of medications in her that she couldn't even trust her own mind, didn't know if alex was watching her through fear or love, now her daughter had made it clear that she had broken her in her own downfall. This was too much for her to take. She took a seat at the breakfast bar and looked at Alex, her eyes were dull but glassy and the pain was etched on her face.

“Please Alex, dont worry about me, just go to her, she needs her mom, she had no interest in seeing me, I ruined it all, all the fears I had when we discussed this just came true with startling clarity, if she doesn't want me here i will go, and don't force her to come to lunch. Just tell me if I am getting dinner or going to the penthouse. Let isabella decided I won't force her”

Looking at Kara, Lena just put up her hand and shook her head, she didn't want to hear it, Lena had been drugged but Kara, she chose to walk away from their friendship. With that the phone rang Frank was outside, she stood somewhat shaky on her legs and turned to the door.

“I will wait to hear from you, please go to her she needs you”

Alex looked at Lena because she didn’t believe that Isabella needed her actually she believed the one that she needed was walking out that door in total fear of getting hurt and being just like her own mother. 

“Lena, I know that you might not want to hear this and I totally understand that I could be destroying everything that we have built over this time together this last night but let me tell you something. That little girl, she doesn’t know hate. She doesn’t do hate. Actually she’s totally good. She gets that from both of us. What she needs is for you to go to her. For you to give up work for a day here and there. That’s what she’s asking you to do.” 

Alex ran her hand through her short hair because she was trying so hard to make Lena see this but she was just as stubborn as Alex. So this could go two ways. One she would actually listen to Alex, although that was the lesser of the two options. Two she would let what Alex say turn it into fear and go to work anyway, pushing the two girls further from her. 

“You know me, Lee. I’ve always called you out on your bullshit and just because you are a little testy right now doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. I won’t sugar coat anything for you. That’s not who we are. So do with what I said as you wish. Just so you know, I know a lot of people who picked that second option and the outcome was not a pleasant one for them.” 

With that Alex walked closer to Lee to gently grab her arm and kiss her cheek. 

“I’ll be upstairs with our daughter if you decide on the second one.” 

Lena took hold of Alex, her mind took what she said initially and turned it into criticism and blame, with the threat that Alex would take her if she made the wrong choice. The more solid part of her brain that trusted Alex knew she wasn't the one that would take isabela it was isabella that would remove herself, much like Lena had done with her own family. She didn't know what to do, she was willing to give up her job to do something different just a few months ago before Alex left, she stopped caring about LCorp when she lost her family, she couldn't make the same mistake again. She couldn't cause a fight, especially now when she couldn't trust her mind.

“Alex wait, please. Come with me, I don't trust myself not to mess it up, I have hurt her so much already, if i mess up again or if she doesn't want to see me at least you are there to take care of her.”

Lena didn't commit to a whole day off, she had not been in to the office for two days and there would be a lot to do, she also needed a place to retreat if Isabella really meant it, but she emailed Jess and called Frank to ask him to wait.

Alex looked over at Lena. This was a big step in the right direction of course it was. Alex couldn’t help but feel a bit of pride in the way that Lena truly did want to try. Alex walked over grabbing Lena’s hand in hers. 

“Okay fine I’ll go with you but you might want to tell Frank to just go. Isabella isn’t going to let you go into work once she realizes that you choose her over work. Which to be fair is a big step and to show that you care. You got this and you are nothing like your family. You are choosing differently. So just keep that in mind when you are battling with yourself okay? Because you Lena Danvers-Luthor are so good that it truly makes me incredibly happy to be here by your side and to call you my..” 

Shit they were no longer together and here Alex was about to call her her wife. That wasn’t okay and that was definitely crossing boundaries. To many of them all at the same time. That was okay and she loved Lena more than anything. 

“You are extraordinary and brilliant that is one of the reasons why I fell in love with you. Lee, You are a great mother and never give yourself the full amount of credit that you deserve.” 

Lena listened, she deserved credit? She didn't think so, and neither did isabella at the moment, she had caused this, she should have been more open, told Alex that they could both change they could both put their daughter first instead of being so concentrated on changing the perspectives of everyone else, trying to give their daughter a name to be proud of. Lena walked into a million board meetings, take overs, mergers, and hostile situations, each tall, proud, confident and in control. The thought of walking into her daughters room filled her with fear, her stoic facade, the face of the fake Lena Luthor would be of no help to her here, her daughter needed her to be open, herself no protection.

Lena took a deep breath, she knew that Kara would be able to hear her frantic heart but if she knew what was good for her she would butt out. Lena took Alex by the hand and tried to hide her nerves with a smile.

“Lets go get our daughter”

Alex looked at Lena as she rubbed her arm. Alex knew Lena like the back of her hand so she knew that this was a big step and she knew that Lena was probably so scared to be doing this. It was after all out of her normal. However, Alex was really proud of her for doing so. 

“Okay come on and by the way Lena. You’ll do just great. I believe in you.” 

Both women walked in silence up the stairs to Isabella's room, Lena to nervous to speak and Alex not wanting to give her anything else to think about, or cross that final boundary, when she was so fragile. They arrived at the door and Knocked.


	10. Negotiating with a three year old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it seems that Izzy has managed to take on all the best and worst atributes of her parents, she has a sudden temper, can be too introverted, doesnt like to share her pain and is exceptionally good at nagotiating exactly what she wants. she can ensure that her goals are met, she is determined and tanasious. Alex and Lena are in trouble when their own pain matches that of the child they love. how will they fare? when Negotiating with a three year old?

Alex didn’t know how this was all going to go over. It scared her badly because she knew how she reacted when her father was always choosing work over her and that’s the part that scared her because after all Isabella was a lot like her. She wouldn’t let Lena leave though, even if she had to fake going into the DEO for a fake emergency. 

Once they knocked and heard the little voice in her room crying Alex opened up the door pulling Lena into the room with her. 

“Hey Izzy. It’s both of us. Are you okay? You never are this sad.” 

Isabella couldn’t help the arm cross as tears rolled down her eyes. 

“No momma she work, never remember I here. She not want to be family. She’s leave to work, it hurt, she doesnt stop. I missed her, she didn't come, just worried about work, not me. To busy, she not care it upset you, or me.” 

Isabella didn’t hate either one of her mother’s it was the fact that she was finally starting to feel the way most divorced kids feel. Like she doesn’t matter to them and other things are more important than the way she's feeling. The only time she didn’t feel that way was when they were actually paying attention to her. She was feeling very neglected. It hurt her soul to feel like this. It was taking away that bright shine that everyone loved about her. 

Lena listened to her daughter, she did nothing but think about her, the next time that she would get her, she was miserable when she wasn't there, she was Lena’s whole reason to work, and more importantly to come home. Lena squeezed Alex’s hand for support and stepped forward to the bed. As with the knocking Lena was always very particular about being respectful, she wouldn't enter her space without it being alright with Isabella, she had been ignored in one way but had no privacy in another and wanted Isabella to have a better life, she was failing.

“Izzy pop, can I sit down? I am not going anywhere right now, I am here”

Lena had woken up in her home for the first time in six months so happy and with a careless action had caused this look on her beautiful daughters face.

“Your mommy and I are both going to be staying here in our home, you don't have to leave here anymore you can see us both every day, if that's what you want.”

Alex couldn’t help the soft smile that grazed her lips because the way that Lena was with Isabella was incredible and she was so proud to have Lena as the mother of her child. 

Alex sat down on the bed as she opened up her arms for Isabella knowing that she would want cuddles she always wanted cuddles. 

Isabella looked at Lena and nodded her head as she cuddled into Alex wrapping her arms around her. 

“Fine sit Momma. I still upset. Why you not love me? If you, love me, you stay, not work?” 

Lena looked at Isabella and the way that she huddled into Alex, it was clear who the mother was here, and it wasn't her. She sat on the bed looking down at her hands as she started to pick at her fingers, how could she explain all this to a three year old?, how could she make sure that isabella knew that she was not at fault, that her parents loved her more than anything, that she loved her so much that she tried to be better every day.

“Isabella, momma has been a little sick, I am getting better but that is why I wasn't here for the last two days, it wasn't you, it wasnt that I don't want to be with you. You are my reason to come home every day. Both your mommy and I love you more than anything, just because we haven't been able to get along doesn't mean that it was your fault or anything that you did. That's why we are both coming home, because we both want more time with you, we both can't stand not seeing you every day”

Lena didnt say that she missed Alex every day, that she hated going to bed and laying there alone listening to Isabella in the next room, without Alex in her bed, how without Alex and her home and her daughter she was becoming her father and it terrified her, she didn't say that she loved Alex so much that she would give anything to be able to go back to stop the divorce, but she had to face it. Her and Alex were divorcing now, she would at least have them home now.

Alex couldn’t help the way that she so easily leaned over to Lena and pulled her into her so she had Isabella and Lena on each side of her placing her in the middle. 

“We both love you so much Izzy. We have to go to work so that you can have whatever you want and that’s okay because you like new toys. We have missed being here as a family and seeing you everyday so yesterday me and Momma talked about us all moving back here. What do you say?” 

Isabella looked down as she cuddled into Alex. She felt like crap and she hated the way that everything seemed to be going and she knew one thing for certain was that she wasn’t about to let her parents know just how sad she was. She didn’t understand these feelings. 

“Momma still don’t change you choose work not me. Used to have momma day with me. Why you not take days off. If we all live here, you will work all time, mommy you work too, get dead, leave me.” 

Alex sighed she hated that wording and she knew why Lena said those words to her many times now but she loved her job and she just didn’t understand why she had to choose between her family and what she loved to do. Not to mention that she was really good at it as well. 

Lena wrapped her arm around Isabella, and Alex, it appeared that this was not easy on any of them and she feared this would only be the beginning. Isabella looked so sad, Alex didn't look much better. Isabella had so much of each of them in her that she knew how deeply she would be feeling, and regardless of who she followed getting that out would be hard, not to mention the obstacle of Isabella’s age, she was exceptionally bright, she had thoughts and feelings made connections other three year olds wouldn’t but she was still a child, the vocabulary the understanding the ability to work through these complex emotions was just not there yet.

Lena had wanted to work in a lab, to cure cancer, to invent things be creative and help the world, and she had over and over but it was always as a sideline. She was good at being a CEO, she was good at leading the company, but she was happiest in two places, her lab and her home with her daughter and her Alex.

“Izzy pop, we have momma daughter days, we have time together I know it isn’t as much as it was when you were little but I am always here for you, I am never to busy for you, and I will always choose you, and your mommy …….. will too”

Lena added the extra wording when she realised what she said and blushed a little burying her face into Isabella's hair.

Alex couldn’t help but to lay there and listen to everything that Lena was saying. It was so special to be able to be there and hear them talk like this because they truly did love each other even if it was a bit messy right now. 

Isabella listened as she tried not to cry because she was feeling very sad and she was trying so hard to be like Lena. Which means holding in her tears till she was alone. 

“Okay momma.. I believe when it happens. You choose your work over me. Mommy does too. I’m not good enough, even when i try real hard, not when work calls.” 

Alex really wanted Lena to mean those words and when she added those extra words her heart sank. She literally thought they were getting somewhere. She almost missed Isabella talking. Zoning back in and hearing their daughter talking more. 

“You and Mommy together, we a family again?” 

Alex groaned because the thought that she chose work over her daughter hurt more than anything. She felt like she was more present in Isabella’s life. There were many times where she called off just to have more time with her. After all these moments were far and few in between and there would be a time where she would want these moments back and miss them. 

“I’ll do better Izzy.” 

That’s all she said because now she knew that she had to give up her job and even if that meant her doing something she absolutely hated like retail or some kind of total bullshit like that. Her heart rate sped up thinking of what all this actually meant. 

Alex probably thought that lena hadn't seen it from her place inside Isabella's hair but she had, Alex often hid what was really going on but Lena knew better, she hurt her, she had tried not to get ahead of herself, after all she had given everything to Alex they were divorced, she didn't want to give herself hope, they were getting on better but maybe that was just because it was over, Alex finally could stop worrying that Lena would try and take Isabella. Lena tried to turn her face she didn't want anyone to see her tears, they were falling hard.

“Isabella, I love you more than anything, and my job and your Mommys' keeps the city safe, but we have both walked out of work for you, when you broke your arm we were both there there was no hesitation. I love your mommy and we are all going to be together, we are a family, we need to work on what that looks like, but neither of us can manage without you, we need you, our jobs gave us what was needed to have you, but I would give it up to keep you”

Lena had never said the words out loud, had never cried in front of Isabella, it was rare in front of Alex, she was emotionally spent the last few days had been a lot and Isabella was definitely the cherry on the cake.

Alex had heard what Lena was saying about everything it truly did mean a lot to her. The thing was she never knew what to say or how to act. Not now but she did know that one thing was certain. The thing that she loved after Lena and Isabella was the thing she was going to have to give up. Alex didn’t want to do that at all but It was after all something that needed to be done. 

Alex sat up before sinking into Lena’s side more and hiding her face in her arms. If she did that then Lena couldn’t see just how badly she was hurting right now. 

“Your momma is right we have both taken off work for you Izzy. What is it that you want from us?” 

Isabella looked at her mothers as she crossed her arms over her chest. Trying to think about what it was that she really wanted. The truth was she wanted what she had right then her mom’s. 

“I want day, fun with my mommies. No work, mommies and me. Maybe one each too.” 

Isabella didn’t think that was a lot to ask for. She just wanted attention from her mother’s and she loved them very much. 

Lena looked at Isabella and smiled; she wondered where her daughter got her commanding presence from, she was growing into a good little negotiator. Lena couldn't help but smile at her.

“How about we make either Saturday or Sunday a family day, no work just us, we can do different things, sometimes at home and some times out, but it will be all three of us together. We can both have one day of the weekend off a week and we just need to coordinate it”

Lena looked at Alex and hoped that she would be agreeable, waiting for her to look out from her arm where she was hiding, no doubt in an attempt to hide how she was really feeling. She was hoping that Alex would want to commit to that that she would be happy to spend one day with Lena and Isabella as a family, even if she moved on, Lena knew she wouldn't but even if she did she would still committed to this with the family they created.

“In addition friday evening every other week we will have a mom and Isabella evening we can alternate it, we can come home early and it will be a dinner and a movie or soft play, maybe trampolining or something, I will also go back to cooking dinner every evening”

Lena could commit to that, it was unlikely that her and alex would go back to the way, as much as she wanted that, they were divorced and she had to learn to live with that, losing the love of her life. She could come home early and work in the evening after Isabella went to bed, CEO or working in a lab Lena knew that she could be distracted and forget to eat or sleep but the one thing she never forgot was Isabella.

Alex was feeling really bad because here Lena was trying to fix what they both broke. Isabella, that’s who they broke. Alex looked up at Lena as she spoke with red puffy eyes signaling that she had been crying. The thing was it was hard and rough for her. To sit here and pretend that none of this mattered to her. 

“That sounds perfect. I would love having either of those days as a family day. And since you would take off Friday to have a mom daughter date with Isabella I’ll work late that night or go out with Kara. Then on Thursdays I can have my daughter's mommy date with her.” 

Alex was trying and she also knew that Fridays would probably be the day she started looking for a new job because she wanted to make sure that both of them knew that they meant more to her than her work. No matter how much it will tear her down and make her not the Alex that Lena fell in love with but a totally different one. 

Isabella smiled as she listened to her parents talk and try to make this all better. Sure it wasn’t the best but they were trying and they were her mothers. That’s all that she truly wanted anyways. 

”That's ok. No more nannies. I want aunty kar kar or someone that loves me.” 

Lena’s phone went off, she hadn't even checked the caller ID when she saw Isabella’s face change, she could see from the look in her daughter's eyes that if she took the call regardless of who it was she would ruin all the progress they had just made. Sending the call to voicemail she looked at Isabella and smiled.

“How about some pancakes?, and coffee for me, I haven't had any yet and you know that your Momma needs coffee in the morning”

Lena tried not to worry about the call, tried not to think about what this would mean, she had not been herself and the board had been getting more and more confrontational, she could lose her position, even as the majority stakeholder in the company, they would still need her votes to do anything but she would lose control of the direction Her mother still had influence and with the most recent interaction she would be looking for payback.

Alex was a bit shocked when Lena sent the phone to voicemail. That was a start to a good way. She knew that Lena was freaking out about nothing with the company and she loved her so much but she just wished that the other woman would relax some. Alex smiled as she winked at Lena basically telling her that she was very proud of her. 

Isabella smiled brightly when Lena didn’t take the phone call that was one foot in the right direction with her daughter. 

“no call momma. just me today? Thank you, let’s go get pancakes choc chip momma?.” 

Lena got up and picked up her daughter holding her close to her, breathing in the scent of her making a memory her birth mother called it, she wanted to remember everything about her daughter, even the sad times, because this would always be better than not having her. Lena reached back and took Alex’s hand leading them out of the bedroom and down to the kitchen. The way she felt holding Alex and Isabella like this was worth more than everything she owned, and she wanted to hold on to that feeling as long as possible.

Rounding the corner she could see that Kara was still there, that was all she needed right now, Kara eavesdropping, she had no faith in Lena and she didn't need any self righteous talk about making promises you can't keep, Lena was planning to keep these, only death would keep her from her daughter at the moment.

Alex loved the way that it was so easy for Lena to grab her hand and walk with her. It made her heart race faster not because she was sad or anything but simply because she still had the biggest feelings in the world for Lena love and nothing or no one could change that not the butterflies. She loved Lena and Isabella. They were two of the three most important people in her life. She just hoped that Lena and Kara could get past all the hurt that that went wrong in their friendship and for better or worse words get the fuck over it. 

Kara was still in the kitchen, she had been waiting, she didn't want to just leave things were difficult for everyone at the moment and she wanted to be there for Alex, and Izzy, she would love to be of support to Lena but she knew that would be a long road, the way Lena had been, but she was going to apologize and she was going to be there for her. The way Alex and lenas heart rates were changing during the discussion with Izzy told her just how emotional everyone was, and she had tried not to listen but she had. She was most worried about Izzy it was her heart rate that she was most concerned about and wanted to tell Alex that she wasn't alright.

As they walked into the Kitchen Kara went to talk to Alex, but as she did she heard the sirens in the distance. Karas head whipped around and looked through the wall, it was human issues not Alien but it was a problem.

“I was waiting to talk to you but I have to go, um, don't worry Alex it doesn't appear to be a DEO issue, please call me later”

With that Kara left through the back door and took off in the direction of the sirens.

Isabella hated the fact that Kara was leaving. She was hoping for a few moments with all of her family together. That would have made everything better. By now however she knew better and every time that Aunt Kar Kar left so did her mommy. Waiting for it was the hardest thing that has ever been done. 

“So you going too huh mommmy?” 

Alex was happy that Kara told her that it wasn’t a DEO issue but more importantly she realized just how much resentment that Isabella held against her job, that was what made this worse. How could she have let all this get this bad? 

“No I’m not going into work my sweet little girl. I already told you that you have me today unless it’s really bad. I’m sure Aunt Kara can handle it however.”

Lena sat Isabella on the breakfast bar and got out the ingredients needed to make pancakes, and handed Isabella the bowl, she loved to help in the kitchen even if it meant more mess than batter, she was glad that in her preparation she had had the cupboards and fridge stocked. She looked at Alex and smiled.

“Here Izzy pop you can mix, Alex would you like to help with the batter or will you make coffee?”

Lena didn't want to make Alex feel left out but she also didn't want her to feel like she had to wait on her either, they would need to find a way to make this work. They needed to have a proper discussion and that would need to be away from Isabella, if it ended in an argument or they couldn't agree on how to move forward, she didn't want Isabella seeing that right now, she was already hurting too much to put that on her. Lena caught Alex’s eye and raised her brow with a small smile, the sadness in her eyes and the overall look conveyed the message she wanted Alex to hear.

Isabella was so excited to be helping with breakfast. She loved being in the kitchen and actually being able to help. It made her happy. Although she helped Lena more than Alex because that’s the place Alex got frustrated with. 

Alex loved Isabella so much but the thing was that she was so keen on having everything the way that it needed to be. She loved every part of it. She knew how much this would mean to Isabella so that’s why she didn’t take it back. 

Isabella grabbed her stool, Alex helped her with it and placed it by the counter before they started making pancakes doing the pancake mix and the water and mixing it together. Alex even let Isabella do it. 

Isabella loved it and threw some chocolate chips in there with them before stirring the mix. Making a total mess everywhere but she was laughing and having fun. 

Lena cooked often with Isabella and had given Alex the choice she was so impressed when she chose to do the batter after all Isabella would make a mess and there would be more batter on Alex than in the pan, but she smiled, it was one of her favorite things to do with Isabella and she was so glad that she was getting a chance to have fun with it. She went to the coffee machine and started to prepare coffee, and juice for Isabella, never taking her eyes off her girls, for more than a moment.

Watching Isabella having so much fun and how much mess she was making even then Alex didn’t have it in her to stop it. Even though she knew the mix was well done. Alex let her stir it for a bit more before looking at her. 

“Okay Izzy I think it’s time for us to put the pancakes on the stove.” 

Alex looked at Lena and then back at Isabella who she was moving closer to the stove. 

“Okay remember to only hold it right here as we pour it in together.” 

Isabella squealed as she looked at Alex so excited. 

“Let’s do it!” 

Isabella and Alex were pouring. Alex was trying to make them semi small but Isabella was trying to make them big which turned into medium pancakes that were kinda sloppy. 

Once they were done cooking them and placing them on the plate both Isabella and Alex made up some plates. 

Isabella’s plate had two pancakes with tons of syrup on it and Lena’s had two pancakes with some syrup on it while Alex’s plate had four pancakes with just butter on them. 

Being sat around the table was a rare thing, especially in the last few months before the split. Handing Alex her coffee and Isabella her juice they all started to eat their food, as always Isabella tried to pinch everyone's chocolate chips and Lena distracted Alex so she could take hers, Alex did the same in return, all laughing around the table eating. It was nice and lena found that she was smiling easier, and it felt more natural.

It was the end of breakfast and Isabella ran upstairs to go play with her barbies while her mothers stayed downstairs. Alex walked over to the sink to start with the washing up before turning and leaning on the sink so she was looking at the kitchen table. 

“I think that we should go out to dinner just the two of us tomorrow. Kara can watch Isabella. What do you think of that idea?” 

Alex couldn’t help the pounding in her chest because she was deeply scared that this whole thing would somehow come back to bite her in the ass. The thing was that Alex loved Lena so much that she felt like this was a bad idea for the sheer fact she knew that Lena wanted that divorce but the way that she felt about Lena is why she never signed those papers. She couldn’t bare the thought of not being her wife even in hard times that they were currently facing. It was driving her madly insane. 

Alex was hoping with every fiber in her mind and soul that Lena would say yes to this because in her mind she could think of it as a date. Oh, please let it be that simple my dear Lena. 

Lena looked at her and smiled, this was why they worked, this is what had made her realise just how well matched her and Alex were, they didn't need to communicate every little thing to be on the same page, it had served them well during incidents and serious situations. Lena and her communicating with a look or touch that said so much they knew what needed to happen to get them out safely. She wished that she could convey what her heart was telling her in a look. That she loved Alex, that she regretted everything that had happened, that she wanted her back, but she didn't know how to put that much into a look.

“I think that is a good idea, I think that we have to have time to talk and plan, things will need to be worked out so that we can all get what we need”

Lena chose need over want, because she didn't feel that she deserved what she wanted, and she wasn't sure that she could get close to Alex again and be broken again, she almost didn't survive the first time.

Alex loved the way that it all seemed to go together so easily how much they both just agreed to basically go out on a date was incredible. Oh at least she could see it as one even if Lena didn’t really want that it’s what Alex wanted and needed at the moment. The hope. 

“Okay. Great. What time say about six?” 

Lena smiled and nodded at the time, it was easy to agree to it was always there time they could go out and still put Isabella to bed, and it was the earliest she could get out usually. Oh six was the time they used to do every single date they ever had because it was early enough for Lena to still make it to work in the morning on time and yet not too early for Alex. It was the first compromise they ever came up with. 

Alex wasn’t paying much attention, she was on cloud nine, normally she would warn Lena when she heard little footsteps at the top of the steps but in this moment however she didn’t even hear them. 

So down came Isabella who was feeling on top of the world. She didn’t want to hide anything and she had both her moms. A little girl who was never good at holding grudges against anyone ran straight up to her mother and gave her a great big hug. 

“I glad you here momma. You stay with me and Mommy forever. We glad you here.” 

Alex’s eyes widened when she saw Isabella and she knew just how hard she could squeeze at times. 

“Izzy, be careful with momma okay? She has some sore ribs. Nothing major but her body is just achy.” 

If she didn’t know Lena she would have made a joke about her being old. Alex knew that would upset her wife so therefore she did not. 

Lena just held onto her, hiding the wince as her ribs moaned, her little one had willingly hugged her, this was all she had been waiting for the longest time, to feel that love from her little one, and if she was lucky her number one would be next.

The rest of the day passed the same, revolving around Isabella, Alex and Lena working together to make their daughter happy, between the pancakes, the cupcakes, cooking dinner making play dough, singing, dancing, playing in the garden and watching movies, Lena and Alex were both knackered at the end of the day, putting Isabella to bed in their normal routine and heading to bed themselves. They just gravitated to their old bed and old routine as a matter of auto pilot both too tired to discuss it or think they ended up snuggled in bed.


	11. Lesbian Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the girls are both panicking in their own way, there is trouble at LCorp and Alex is advised to talk to Lena, things are on the way up, and they suggest a dinner to talk, is it a date?

Lena awoke in the morning wrapped up in Alex’s arms again for the second morning in a row. They hadn't talked about it when they went upstairs after an exhausting day with Isabella, it just happened, Lena slipped out of the bed not wanting to wake her, she would need her energy for Isabella. She showered and dressed, leaving a small note on the bedside table.

“I have to go into work today, I hope you and Isabella have fun, I hope she understands, give her a kiss for me she is still sleeping, I will see you tonight. Lee”

Lena arrived at LCorp, she could see Jess talking to a delivery man with massive bunch of flowers, she had no idea what was going on but as she entered the area she could see her office, there were flowers everywhere, plumerias, daisies, carnations, and a few she had no idea what they were, there was also a fresh pastries. Raising her brow she looked at Jess who was just finishing with the delivery man.

“Jess what is all this? This is not all from today is it?”

Jess looked up and smiled at Lena, she had not seen her in a few days which was unusual, she had grown accustomed to the half days with Izzy but nothing for nearly a week was very different she couldn't remember the last time it happened, especially as she had not responded to emails or calls either.

“Oh Miss Luthor it is great to see you, I have hmm put most of the flowers in vases and well the pastries, I have shared out amongst the assistants, when you haven't arrived for the day. This has been happening every day for the last four days. I think they are all from miss danvers”

Lena didn't owe Jess an explanation but she had always confided in her to a degree and she didn't have anyone else to talk to at the moment, it was not in her job description but Lena couldn't help but think that there was something about Jess that like to be included, although nothing she ever said to her became public so it was not gossip she was looking for, she was actually interested.

“Miss Danvers and I had a disagreement, this is an apology, feel free to give the pastries out to the assistants, well except for this one.”

Grinning she took an almond croissant, and the file that Jess was holding. Opening the file she sighed and grimaced. One day off and all hell broke loose, the R&D department were working on some anti alien tech in her absence, Jess had uncovered the secret project, she was sure that this would be something to do with her mother. The board were making moves to have some of the previous Lex inventions and some of her shelved projects reinstated, and there were also issues with the accounts, money, cash withdrawals were being made in large sums.

I tried to call you yesterday, I have been taking care of everything I can, I have kept the emails down to the urgent, for your eyes only ones, everything else I have responded too, the mail also. There has been some money going missing, being funnelled out of accounts and I have tracked down who had authorised it and who took it out. There is a meeting after Lunch with the person responsible, in addition there has been an authorization of some projects you red flagged that I have shut down, and there is a meeting with R&D and archiving, to sort that out, in addition I have the board certified orders for you to look at, there are only six names on it, three of which alerted you to the issues, which you have been dealing with, effectively.”

Jess smiled and a complete outline of everything was emailed to Lena and ready for her to check, she hoped that she had done the right thing.

“Thank you Jess, I really don't know what I would do without you, I have plans at six tonight and need to be out of here no later than five, please add a meeting with the board members on the list no later than four”

Alex was awake an hour or so later with Isabella jumping on her and giving her kisses. She didn’t know what to do about it but all she knew was the fact that she had both her girls. Then it happened when she reached over for Lena who was nowhere to be found. Her heart sank a tad but she leaned up and kissed Isabella. 

“Go downstairs I’m going to phone Aunt Kar Kar and see if she wants us to come over or if she wants to come over here.” 

Isabella nods her head before taking off down towards the kitchen. 

Alex got up and started to get ready for the day before grabbing the note Lena wrote her and gave her a quick call. 

“Morning beautiful. Please please be my saving grace and tell me that you at least made some breakfast before you went into work because I don’t feel like doing it.” 

Sure Alex knew this was probably a bad idea giving her morning calls and wanting to tell her how much she loved her because it truly was all she could think about. How much she enjoyed having her family together again. Alex was a bit worried that this simple task would be crossing some kind of boundary but she didn’t mind. 

Lena smiled at the call, she had not been expecting it or the old term of endearment to be used to greet her, her heart skipped a little as she sat down in her chair.

“Good morning, how are my girls doing this morning? I am guessing from the question you haven't been down stairs. I hope that you didn't send Isabella down there alone. There are Pancakes, waffles and fruit prepared on the counter, I also left the syrup out” 

Lena didn't want to tell Alex about the concerns she had yet she needed more information first. So she kept the conversation light and made fun of Alex because of the mess she was about to walk into.

Alex laughed softly as she listened to Lena. Of course Lena would make sure that they were all well taken care of before she went to work. That’s probably because she knew that Alex was useless in the mornings. 

“No I have not gone downstairs yet. Isabella however is downstairs so please tell me that the knife is put away and that coffee is also on a timer?” 

Lena chuckled and looked at her watch. It was just nine so the coffee should be ready.

“There is a pot brewing as we speak I drank the 7am pot but the 9am one should be about to brew it’s a fresh pot all for you, cant have a grumpy mommy bear” 

Alex couldn’t help but chuckle because Lena always called her grumpy in the mornings but she didn’t like to think that she was. 

“Me? Grumpy? I think you are getting confused with yourself. How is work going? Miss being with us yet?” 

So Alex was still too sleepy to realize that she said us instead of just Isabella which could be both good and bad. She however didn’t mind. Talking to Lena was like a breath of fresh air. Alex didn’t know how much she needed it. 

Lena smiled, she liked this, it was like before, she would have to sneak out and Alex would always call, they would talk and then Lena would have the strength to carry on with her day.

“You know me, always busy but never too busy to miss my girls, I do have to get on though, I have been absent for nearly a week now. I promised I would be back for dinner, I am not planning on breaking the promise on day one” 

Alex looked at the wall as she shakes her head, all this routine seemed so normal for them and she liked that a lot. 

“Okay get back to work. Bye Bye Lee.” 

With that she blew a kiss with a kissing sound and hung up the phone. 

After chatting with Lena for a little while, and how much she did miss her voice was endearing, she placed the first note she got into her bedside table. After sitting there for a little while longer she called Kara. 

“Kara, Please come over. So I can talk to you about something, about Lena. I need my sister and Isabella wants to see you. If you don’t want to come over I can come over to your place.” 

Kara answered the call as she was patrolling over the city, she wasn't sure what had happened that Alex wanted to talk to her, but she was more than happy to be there for her sister, after all that's what they did.

“I will drop in after patrol, I have an article to write later but I am out covering the assignment so I am not expected at the office. Is everything alright or should I bring ice cream?”

Alex couldn’t help but smile because of course her sister would say all that and why would she not be out patrolling the city. 

“Of course you are. Sounds good to me. I’m not entirely sad but I am in the mood for ice cream so that could be fun. Plus Isabella has been asking for ice cream.” 

Maybe Isabella wasn’t but Alex had been craving Ice cream for the past week so if she told Kara that it was Isabella she knew that she would bring it. 

Kara agreed and hung up the phone, she finished her patrol and picked up Izzy’s favorite ice cream and Alex’s and then a few tubs for herself arriving at Alex’s less than five minutes later. Letting herself in through the back door.

“Alex, Izzy, hey where are you guys, I have Ice cream”

Alex was in the kitchen waiting for Kara, Isabella had wandered off to play in the playroom because she wanted to be Elsa and away from Alex who was trying to sing and she didn’t like that. It did make Alex kinda sad when she did that. 

“Kitchen, Kara. Your niece is in the playroom hiding from me.” 

Alex couldn’t help but laugh at that because Kara would ask her a million times why she was messing with Isabella and take her side over Alex’s side. When it came to Isabella she was always outnumbered. 

Things were not sitting well with Lena, there was red flags coming up all over the place, she knew that she should speak to Alex but tonight they were going to discuss Isabella, and moving forward, she knew Alex well enough to know that if she voiced her suspicions, protective Alex would surface and she would be side tracked. As much as Lena loved it, when Alex was single mindedly focused, protective and caring she needed to focus, to be on the current living situation not her Mother, they had already had too much interference from that woman. 

Alex and Kara had just finished up getting organized and now Isabella was coming downstairs. 

“Let’s go outside. Pwlese.” 

With this Alex picked her up placing her on her hip. It was one of those things that she did a lot without realizing and sometimes Lena would say something about it. 

“She took her out to the big backyard and couldn’t help but look around. Who would have known that this kid was so damn spoiled. Alex never truly thought of it like that until she saw all the big toys out here plus the pool. It was beautiful and a child's dream no doubt. Maybe she should talk to Lena about how much the two of them spoil the little girl. After all, the last thing Alex would want is for her to think she's an entitled child. 

She placed Isabella down and kissed her head. 

“Go on, go have fun.” 

Alex laughed as Isabella took off running down the grass area to get to her playhouse. The action was so simple and yet Alex couldn’t help all the happiness that she felt from that simple action. It was like every other time she had watched her. This time however it felt different. Better in a way. 

Once her daughter was out of earshot she looked at Kara. This was going to be so hard, for as long as she remembered her dream was to be at the DEO working side by side with her sister. Now that it’s costing her, her family. She was going to give up the thing that she was extremely good at and that she loved just to keep her family happy and healthy. First though she needed to talk to Kara and see if she was going to be doing the right thing. 

“Kara, how would you feel if I said that the thing I wanted most was Lena and Isabella and that I would do whatever it takes to have them by my side. I want to try and date Lena again. I’m just not sure where she stands with this. If she even wants me, like I want her.” 

Alex looked up to make sure that Isabella was okay before looking back at her sister and running her hands through her own hair. At this moment Alex looked so stressed. 

Kara watched Izzy smiling until Alex began to speak, she could hear the anxiety in her voice and the acceleration in her heart. She didn't like the way things had gone with them, her and Lena were perfect together. Kara had always thought so and that little girl was amazing, she deserved to have her family. This was something that Kara valued above all else, she lost everything until Alex gave her a home and she wanted Alex to be happy.

“Alex, I know that Lena still loves you, there is no way she would react the way she does, if she didn't. I don't just mean her heart or her smiles or the way she looks at you, Lena reacts with such magnitude when it is connected to you and Izzy, she is not, um, she is calm, collected, calculating, and I don't mean it in a bad way, but the only people she loses it over are you and Izzy, she loves you both. Dating would be good I guess, I mean you guys used to do that all the time before and I think that well it is um, something that helps keep intimacy and romance alive, um, you know, that I just want you to be happy, I mean, I wouldn't like it if Lena didn't want me around any more, even though I kind of get it, I didn't think I should have um, I should have spoken to her, um, and I will um continue to apologise for it, but I want you to be, um happy together so I could stay away, that isnt it, is it? I mean if it is, I will stay away and you deserve to be happy, um it will well it would be hard”

Alex knew that sometimes, okay almost always, that Kara would go onto a ramble because that was just who she was. Alex couldn’t help the smirk or the shake of her head as she looked over at Kara. 

“Shush. No one wants you to go away. Although apologizing to Lena is really what you need to do, that way we can all go places together again, because I hate when the two of you are fighting and so does Isabella. It’s not good for any of us. Plus, you always seem to get her back on your side. You two have been here once before. You got this. I just don’t think that it’s going to be easy this time. I do however believe that you can show her your case and she’ll listen.” 

Shit Now Alex knew that she was getting off topic because that was how this sometimes happened and she hated it. 

“Anyways I want to start dating her again because I feel like we can’t just pick up where we left off. There was too much wrong in our marriage but I didn’t let that defeat me, which is why I never gave Lena what she wanted. I never signed those stupid divorce papers, because I don’t want to go back to just being me. I’m so much more when I’m with her. I know her and Izzy both hate when I go to work because they are both too nervous that I’ll end up coming home in a body bag.” 

Thinking about it now, Alex knew that Kara would not just send her home in a body bag, she would care for her more than what they do at the DEO for agents, which had her wanting to make one last change before she gave up her job. 

“Which I know you wouldn’t do because you would care about me more than we do our agents. Let’s face it though, we shouldn’t be treating them that way when they have done so much for us. We should start treating the dead ones like we do the alive ones. Like family. We should also be more kind to the family. I’m not sure how, but I believe it needs to be done.” 

Alex took a gulp because now she was the one who was side tracking herself. This was total bullshit and she knew that. 

Kara looked at Alex confused, she was talking about dating Lena again, like they were single again, but they were still married, Lena didn't know that, now she was talking about dying and then overhauling the DEO, and people said that she was unfocused and Rambled.

“Ok, right firstly, the first time we fell out, well that wasn't my fault and well she forgave me because she knew it wasn't about my faith in her but this time it is, she currently hates me, but I am working on it, I promise I am, I don't want to be without you, Lena or Izzy, your my family and that is so important to me. Secondly, no there is no way that you would be going anywhere in any body bag, secret government protocol or not, and well I wouldn't let that happen. I would die before they got you, I mean I am not everywhere all the time but I wouldn't let you die on a mission. I always have your back Alex. that's the only reason I work there, so I can protect you as much as you do me. We are a team, the danvers sisters. El Mayarah, always. Um so you want to change things at the DEO? If Lena is worried and you're worried about her and Izzy, why not do the job you have? Direct right?”

Kara bit her lip and pulled her eyebrows together, her crinkle evident on her forehead as she looked at Alex. Alex wasn't talking about her future any more but her legacy, what she would leave the DEO with.

“Oh, you don't mean change it for you, just them, oh, um, what would you do? You can't sit behind a desk, that's why you don't, does this mean? Are you thinking of leaving?” 

Alex listened to Kara as she raised her eyebrow, all this was so confusing and she couldn’t help but feel sad. She hated every part of this. The thing was, she wanted to do this, but at the same time she would hate every part of it. This was her dream job. This was what she was good at. Without that she didn’t know what she was going to do. 

“I want to make a difference with how we handle people who pass away. Then I can give over my title and know that I did something worth fighting for. We as in the DEO put our life on the line every single day. Yet once someone dies the only thing we do is body bag them and make the families come down and collect them. That time should be done with so much more compassion. With both Lena and Izzy they hate what I do, in fear that one day I won’t make it home. Knowing how we treat others hurt me, because now I finally see what my wife and child are scared of.” 

Alex let the tears roll down her cheeks. She never in a million years would have thought she would give up this job for anything. She was good at it, like Lena was brilliant at her job, Alex was brilliant at her own job. 

“I have to leave, I'm not sure what I’ll do, but I have to do something else. So my daughter and wife are calm and not worried all the time. I won’t need to do anything dramatic because Lena already makes enough money for all of us. I want to do it so she doesn’t have to give me anything, and that way if I want something or want to buy her and Isabella something. I can without asking her if that is okay. You know what I mean? The money I make, sure lets me spend it on whatever I want no matter how stupid.” 

Lena had no choice; she knew if she was going to stop the problems at LCorp she would need to get the dissension amongst the board sorted, she didn't need them influencing the newer members or the loyal ones. All the attacks that appear to be directed at her specifically, and all connected with anti-alien technology they were making the stocks fluctuate. She waited until they were seated in the boardroom and started talking, then she walked in trailed by Jess, who had the board members' charter in her hands. The mood in the room instantly shifted the moment that she entered the meeting room. 

There were only Six of the fifteen board members in there and when she arrived they immediately started asking where the rest of the board was. Suggesting that Lena was doing something underhanded and that she wouldn't get away with whatever she was up to.

“I believe you will find that is my line, I know what you have been up too and it isn't going to happen, you think you can go against the CEO, who happens to be the majority stakeholder in this company, it will take more than my Mothers recent attempts to get this past me, now I suggest you sit back and listen”

Lena didn't sit down, she stood at the head of the table with Jess to her left. After the initial commotion had settled down. Lena raised a brow and scanned the room ensuring that she caught each and every pair of eyes facing her. 

“As the 51% owner who happens to be the CEO and the reigning head of the board, within the board's charter. I am within my rights to call a full or part meeting when there is division in direction.”

Jess read the relevant paragraph which included the possible sanctions and powers of the chair in this scenario.

“Now not only do I have the power to do so, I am more than happy to replace you all. If no one wants to come forward and tell me who is responsible for the authorisation of the projects listed here, and the use of funds to be released to Mrs Lillian Luthor. I have the board directives and there are three names that appear on all the documentation, now I would rather just remove the people I need to. I have already got a significant amount of options for new board members to breathe some life into this place, I have no problem replacing each and every one of you.”

Lena paused for Jess to read the emergency protocol regarding the immediate replacement of up to 40% of the board without a vote, with the chair having the power to replace without running any election to the board. Lena had thought about changing the charter that was brought in by her brother to ensure that he was able to fully control the board; she was glad that she had not.

“As you can see the charter allows for such a contingency, should there be a mutiny of the board, that is not identified with the leading individual, don't push me because I will implement it, and replace you all, however I would rather just strip out the people causing the issue, I am here to take out the fox there is no need to slaughter the sheep”

Kara had been silent for a moment before putting her arm around Alex, she didn't see her cry often and this was unexpected, because this was about her job, Kara thought that maybe she had never realised just how much her job meant to her. She was amazing, she could do things that others couldn't, she was better than anyone in the field, but she had lost a parent, three in fact and she knew what that felt like. So did Alex, she didn't want her upset, but she didn't want Izzy without her Mommy either. Finally she spoke.

“I will always be there to protect you whenever I can, you have saved me as many times as I saved you, but when you were in that tank. I almost didn't make it. When you were on the ship. I almost couldn't stop it. As much as I don't think that I would ever make a choice that results in you being sacrificed, there are limits, we both know that loss and I don't want Izzy feeling it, I will support you alex however you need me too, whatever you need, you are my sister. Just tell me what you want me to do and I am there, you know that, always, you will work this out. I know you will. Lena and Izzy are only afraid of losing you, because they love you so much, and why wouldn't they Alex? you deserve all the love in the world.”

Alex listened to her sister because all this was intense, so fucking intense, that she didn’t know what to do. Her heart felt so heavy, because here she was talking about something that she loved and she didn’t know how she felt about that. Leaving the thing that was there for her, all those years before she even knew Lena. The thing that was always there through everything. Not to mention that she felt like she was letting Kara down somehow. 

“I get that Kara so much. Everything I do, I do it for them. I just know that no matter what other job I take, I’m not going to be happy with it, because this was always my dream job. This was always the job I needed and wanted to have. No matter what and because of that I’m not sure what to do.” 

With that Alex sighed before looking up at Kara. 

“I want to take Lena out on a date tonight, would you mind watching Isabella? You can even let her stay up a little later if you want.” 

Kara listened, she knew how Alex felt, she did, she loved being a reporter, she loved being supergirl, she had two parts of herself that often were in direct conflict and she could never choose, she wouldn't want to be anything else, because that wasn't all of who she was. She didn't want Izzy to lose her mommy, she didnt want Lena to lose her Wife and she didn't want Alex to lose her job. It seemed to be not possible for her to have everything, but it was Alex that told Kara she deserved everything, that she could have it all, that being a super didn't mean she couldnt be a woman too.

“Alex you and Lena are great together, this family is beautiful and as I said I would do anything to help. I will have Izzy tonight but Alex, Don't rush into anything, ok. All of you are important, you need to be yourself and find a way to be happy, talk to Lena, see what she says, talk, really talk, have a date, and talk, I will be with Izzy so she is safe, I will call J’onn, he can help out ok, I have Izzy sorted, concentrate on you and Lena”

Alex couldn’t help but to get up and hug her sister because this was all so overwhelming in both a good and bad way. 

“Thank you. I’ll talk to Lena about it, but she’s been trying to get me to leave the DEO for years. It's what she wants. I’ll give both of them that.” 

In the boardroom there had been some commotion and then finally there was a settling of voice’s and much argumentative discussion, citations from the charter thanks to Jess and her nimble fingers, of course Lena knew it verbatim but she would need just to read it out. Finally the room fell silent, everyone in attendance realising that Lena had them all over a barrel, there were a few loyal to her in the room and she would not be removing them, after all they were the reason she knew about this in the first place but she had no intention of highlighting that. 

“The investors will be more than happy to press charges for the embezzlement of company funds, the gopher has been removed and Johnson, Harris and Beal are on this document. I am sure that they would pull out over the split with the agreed direction of the company, the engineer that you have had working on the tech here, well let's say he wasn't quiet when he left, Harris, Carter and Jeffries, signed off on this. I am sure that the FBI will be interested in the reinstating of the projects that Lex started that almost destroyed Metropolis, authorised by Carter, Johnson and Robberts. The evidence is all here, that's enough for prison and federal incarceration”

Lena could see that there were three people that were involved in orchestrating this and needed them to know she would push this the whole way. She caught the three she was trying to remove in her sights and leaned in squaring her jaw.

“So, now you are all well aware that I have the evidence and the means legally to have you all removed, I suggest that the people responsible for this leave the room and leave your passes with security, if this doesn't happen you will all be dismissed, and you can expect the authorities waiting for you as security lead you out. Leave by choice and you will at least get to maintain your dignity. Jess help them to make the right choices, this little impromptu meeting has already cost LCorp enough in time and money, so I suggest you make it quick”

Lena left the meeting, between weeding out the R&D vermin and the person embezzling, all at the hands of three specific board members and then meeting with them to get them out of the picture, the day had been a difficult one. Normally she would not leave now, but she had faith in Jess and for some reason she wanted to get home and change into something nice for Alex, she knew it was a meeting to discuss their plans moving forward, but she was nervous, she loved Alex and wanted her back, she was adding too much pressure to herself, she knew it, but she had hope, especially after the last two nights.


	12. Date night?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Lena go out for a meal to discuss things and things get a little heated, they talk about Izzy and various other things that is playing on their minds, it is like old times, almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone thank you so much for reading, I know that this is a slow to update fic and that is mainly because i am writing it with someone else who is in a different time zone. I am however due to go into hospital and my writing will be difficult more so than it has been lately, but I will finish this story. this update is a little early because i am not sure that I will be around tomorrow. please stick with me a while longer-- I don't talk about my real life if I can help it but I don't want you thinking that i am abandoning my story.

Alex knew that this wasn’t a date, date because Lena would not have agreed to that much. So here she was considering this a win in her own mind and yet knowing that it was wrong of her to do so. The thing is she wouldn’t let that hurt her. She couldn’t let it hurt her because she knew the outcome of a broken heart already. Nothing in this world made her hurt as much as this had hurt. The reason behind how two people can be madly in love with each other and not be able to be together was painful. 

Even though she knew it wasn't a date she couldn't help herself, she wanted to remind Lena that they were good together, make it be a little like old times. So getting ready, she had already planned her outfit, so Alex had chosen to get a little dolled up for this non date, date. She put on a simple black dress with a blazer and did her hair in a fun yet sexy way. Making sure that she got it to be more sexy, the way that Lena liked it, that always encouraged her to run her hands through it and in more passionate times grip it. Her makeup was natural yet alluring. Of course she put on some high heels too. Which Alex hardly ever did. There was no way on this earth that Lena would not know Alex’s true intentions. 

Arriving back at the Brownstone, Lena had that familiar feeling, the one that only came when she and Alex had settled down together, the feeling of coming home, the brownstone had been the first thing that she had ever considered home, it was picked with Alex, decorated with Alex and it had all the space for their little family. The place was far less sterile than her penthouse and with Isabella far less ordered than Alex’s, Lena loved it. How the two of them were so different on the outside had created a space that they both felt at home in and loved. Lena had missed this, the feeling of belonging and the feeling of being part of a family, she knew that this meal was to discuss things, and that Alex was in full control now that she had filled all that paperwork, so she needed to make sure that she was flexible but she still wanted to have a voice. More than that she wanted the time with Alex, she missed her every day. 

Lena moved into the bathroom and showered, biting her lips she decided that she would shave her legs and under her arms, it wasn't that she thought that anything amorous would happen but if she was lucky enough to end up in Alex’s arms over night, she wanted to be smooth and soft to hold, maybe she was hoping for a little something more, even now Alex’s appeal was undeniable, there was no one else that Lena wanted, her heart still belonged to her and as long as it did, Lena would never cheat on her. Sometimes she just needed to be loved, and it had been a long time. She was trying not to think about this as she was getting ready, but once finished she stood and looked at herself in the mirror, she was wearing the emerald green dress, tightly fitting to her body, stopping just above the knee with a sweeping neckline and an additional peekaboo slit that gave the top extra definition. Her raven hair was in a high bun with her hair all pulled back showing off her jawline and neck, emerald droplet earrings and necklace completing the outfit with stilettos. Her make up was softer, and more subtle even the lipstick was a few shades off scarlet. She may not have been planning anything consciously but there was definitely a part of her that wouldn't decline any advances from Alex.

Lillian was sure that her plans were working so when she was tipped off by the board that Lena had not only uncovered it, but managed to get three of her board members out of the building, she was extremely annoyed. Lena uncovering this so quickly and dealing with it so harshly was unexpected, she had either underestimated her or she had stopped drinking, however her grip on LCorp was weakened there were fewer Loyalists than she would be comfortable with she decided to track down her daughter. She figured Lena would be able to take now, she had given up Isabella much to her disgust and given her to that Danvers woman, luckily the human one, and the Agent would be out of her life, Kara was gone, she could easily snatch her up and replace her, that would just leave Jess to contend with, her shapeshifting friend would be adequate until she could convert Lena to her way of thinking. 

That annoying little guard dog that her daughter hired was a thorn in her side, she was sure that with all the distractions that she had been sending her daughters way she would not have noticed the things that she had been up to, the helpful medical compounds she had been giving her would have made it almost impossible for her to pinpoint anything which meant that bothersome little upstart had ruined her plans by telling Lena about it all. If it was Jess she was up against Lillian knew that she would have no issue, Lena may have been able to catch her plans in time before but that was with the help of the Danvers sisters, she didn't believe Lena could defeat her on her own, and Jess had no chance, She was clearly smart but of no use to Lillian she would have to go.

Once Alex was done getting ready for the date she went to the bottom of the steps and leaned on the railing of the stairs waiting for Lena to come down. This was a dance Alex was used to, no matter how much of an effort she made with dressing up she was always finished first, as annoying as it was there was something amazing about watching as Lena descended the stairs, that powerful walk and the way she would take her breath away with whatever she was wearing, Lena took her time to dress for Alex, and it always left her heart racing and her breath stopped in her chest. She was hella nervous about the date between the two this could all go so wrong or yet so right. It all depended on what kind of mood Lena was in to be honest. They had been cuddling and spending time together everything was feeling so right so familiar, there were times where she had wanted to chance a kiss, and she had felt the kiss from Lena, one morning, at least she thought she did, she was mostly asleep but it felt like her touch penetrated her dream. 

Alex however would try her hardest to make Lena feel anything at all besides how she was currently feeling. She could tell that the medication and the actions of late had shaken her and she was doing her best to put on a brave face but Alex could see in her eyes that she was not all the way back yet. Knowing that they didn’t have a lot of time and it sort of freaked Alex out leaving Isabella with anyone who wasn’t them because let’s be honest Lillian was fucking crazy and Alex would not settle until she got what she so desparetly deserved. If she has to kill her, herself she would. Although she wasn’t sure that even Lena would ever forgive her for that at least she would know that her daughter was in fact safe from her evil grasp. 

Oh why did it feel like it was taking Lena so long to get down to her, this was so insane. She’s never felt this way before and her mind just kept wondering about a million different things. Had Lena changed her mind, realised that Alex was hoping that this could be a little more than a dinner and discussion, that in her mind this was a date. 

“Lee? Are you okay up there?” Alex’s voice was loud enough to be heard all the way upstairs. It was a kind yell not one that would hurt your ears as long as you weren’t Kara. 

Lena was looking at herself, she had clearly wore this outfit for Alex, she sighed should she tone it down, change was it right to do this, if Isabella saw them going out like this together would she think that they were back together, although in honesty that was how it had felt, that they were back together that they were the same old married couple they were. Lena swallowed the lump in her throat, they were not, she needed to stop thinking like this, then Alex called and she smiled biting her lip, she always took longer than Alex and she would always complain that she was taking to long, then she would be so mesmerised she wouldn't moan, when Lena finally made an appearance. 

“Yes I am ready Alex, I am just going to pop on some perfume and I will be right down.”

She sprayed herself with perfume and walked out of the bedroom rounding the corner to the top of the stairs, her breath caught in her chest as she looked down at Alex, she was wearing the little black dress, Lena loved it when Alex dressed up for their dates, her favorite being the red dress but then she was not on a date, she was going out to dinner, Lena felt that she needed to make this her mantra for the night, this was a meal this was a discussion this was not a date. Between the dress the hair, and that make up Alex looked truly stunning, Lena made her way down the stairs and looked at her.

“You look Beautiful Alex, absolutely beautiful, this reminds me of happier times, Date nights and Galas we would sneak away from”

Lena had drifted off the a specific Gala where Alex had encouraged her to sneak off, and they had not made it home, until the next day, between the Alfresco sex and the skinny diping she had no idea how Alex had talked her into , she had no idea how they were not arrested. She was biting her lip with her brow raised thinking about this, then she realised what she had said, why had she said that, she didn't want Alex to think that she thought this was something that it wasn't. As much as she wanted to make up for the past few weeks and her strange behaviour down to the drugs, and for the last six months they have been apart and be back home for real. That was not what Alex wanted and she needed to accept that they were no longer on the same page about their relationship, even if they were on taking care of Isabella.

Alex couldn’t help but to watch Lena come down the stairs in that green dress. That green dress that she may have lifted up Lena’s thighs on more than one occasion. Alex always loved Lena in green after all it always brought out her eyes. Anyone who knew her knew that Lena’s eyes were her kryptonite. 

“Thank you, Lee. You look stunning as always. You know I love you in green. Oh those were the fun days. I always did enjoy sneaking away with you from those boring Galas. I always made it worth your while.” 

Alex winked at her playfully before respectfully holding out her hand for Lena to grab ahold of. Alex always did know how to treat Lena like the Queen she deserved to be treated as such. Walking her to the door and opening it before locking it up, she then turned and walked them down to her car. She did think about calling for Lena’s driver to drive them around but that’s what they used to do on their dates in case they were feeling a bit devilish. 

“I figured I would just drive us. Let Frank have the evening off.” 

With that she opened up the door to her car for Lena kissing her cheek softly. 

“We could take this or if you are feeling up to it we could always take the motorcycle, your call Mrs Luthor-Danvers.” 

It was a pet name for Lena when Alex was feeling a bit submissive and giving her the power. They joke around about it often when they were married. Shit she just called her Mrs. that would surely freak out Lena. 

Lena smiled at the compliment and had followed Alex to the car, she was always so charming with a really beautiful feel of a knights code, making Lena feel like the most precious of items in all the land that needed to be protected and cared for. It was funny other people trying to protect her and treat her like this had always hit a nerve with Lena, but with Alex she craved it, the way Alex protected her treated her, it was genuine and loving not forced by societal pressure to gender roles just because that was Alex. Opening the door and kissing her cheek this was feeling more and more like a date, Lena’s heart continued to race and palpate in a way that she knew it was filled with hope. The use of Mrs Luthor-Danvers excited and stung at the same time, the old pet name, the inside couple joke felt familiar and very date like, but it also reminded her that she wasn't any longer married to the beautiful woman treating her like a princess.

“As much as you know I love to take out bikes out for a good run, and as much as I am more than happy to have you take the control of the ride and snuggle in behind you, I don't think that either of us are dressed for that tonight”

Lena slipped into the car and smiled at Alex as she closed the door, she watched Alex make her way around to the other door. Trying to slow her heart and manage the hope and desire she was feeling. She didn't need to be in this mood, not now. Internally she was trying to get herself to focus, this is for Isabella, this is for your daughter dont mess this up.

Alex couldn’t help but to smile so wide when she was walking around to the car, she was so happy but she didn't want to be over eager or give away that she was hoping it was a real date, she had to get her emotions and her face in check. Once she got into the car she started up and proceeded to drive away. 

“So you may have control with the music or you can start talking about anything that is on your mind.” 

Lena smiled and nodded opting to put on some old school music for now, they would be talking at the restaurant and she wanted to prepare for this, she didn't really want to start a conversation that would be off base to the tone of the evening, and as Alex had been the one to suggest it, she needed to give her space to talk.

Alex drove them to the restaurant which didn’t take as long as she thought it would take to be honest. Once there she turned off the car and got out shutting the door behind her before walking around the car before she opened up the door. 

“Come on, beautiful. Let’s go eat and have some chatty time.”

Lena looked up and smiled at Alex taking her hand as she slid out of the door, she stood and slowly smoothed her dress down. Looking up at the location she could see that they were at Carmichaels, Italian restaurant, their old location for weekly date nights. Lena bit her lip she had not been here since the last time that they were together, she had missed this place, missed the food and more importantly missed this time with Alex, date night was her favorite night of the week.

“Alex you are full of flattery and compliments tonight, you are going to make me blush.”

She leaned up and kissed Alex on the cheek and then headed to the door to the restaurant as Alex handed over the key to the car, the valet taking it away. She arrived at the door opened by the hostess and smiled as Alex caught up with her, instinctively she thread her arm through Alex’s and smiled. She was too comfortable and she knew it, she was leading herself down the path to another break in her fragile heart but maybe for tonight she could pretend, she could hope. She loved Alex so much that she didn't want to lose her or give up on them ever. Alex was being so wonderful and playful with her, she wanted it to be like it used to be so much, how bad would it be, to let herself get swept up in this just for tonight, just once more, if she had known the lasts were going to be that she would have paid attention, she would have memorised it all, drawn it out. That was the thing with lasts you never knew it was until it was over, if they slipped back tonight back to how they were even for just one night there would be a new last and Lena could cherish it.

Alex couldn’t help but to smile and place her other hand over Lena’s hand. Oh yes, hearing that she was on the verge of making Lena blush was like winning the lottery it meant that she still had game. Something that she wanted to do to Lena anyways. She always revealed in the things that she could have freely that Lena didn't give to others, the smiles that were hers, the blush, the comfortable lazy afternoons, the sweet kisses when no one was watching and the open heart that she had missed the most since they hit this rocky patch.

“Oh my love, I will always try to make you blush. Afterall, the way blush is very cute. Although you don’t believe that red is your color except for on those sumptuous lips, red is definitely your colour if it’s done correctly, my dear. The truth however, is that I’m the only one that gets it to properly caress your face and truly be your color.”

With that Alex leads them to their table thanking the hostess before pulling out Lena’s chair for her and pushing her in. She loved to do the little things for Lena and this was something that she always had done, a little gesture to show that Lena was always taken care of, in every way, always. Alex walked over to her seat and took her seat. 

“Why Director Danvers I do believe that you are flirting with me, not to mention boasting about your abilities to make me blush, if I didn't know better I would think that you are trying to get yourself p…….”

Lena cut herself off, she was clearly in that place where her mind was only going one way, seeing Alex all dressed up, the past few nights of having her in her bed, the flirting and the familiar feeling of closeness and love that they had always enjoyed. Her own arousal was causing her mind to wander to other things and she needed to focus. This wasn't a date, Alex was just being herself she was always like this always flirty around her it was normal and comfortable it didn't mean anything, Lena was in trouble and she knew it. Her thoughts about a new last night were moving towards a new first night, she loved Alex and was starting to wonder if there was more to this than just talking.

“......Provoked into a little wager as to who can make who blush quickest and you know that Luthors don't like to lose”

Alex smirked because at first she thought she would say the word punished, this was her normal way to see if Alex wanted to play a little. seems that Lena knew how to fix her almost slip up. Which was suddenly a bummer. The easy banter and flirtations had led Alex to a place where her thoughts that this non date could be more, and the change showed Lena’s resistance. Challenge however was something that no Danvers sister ever turned down. 

“Oh but Lee, you know as well as me that I never lose when it comes to these things. I can totally make you blush the quickest.” 

With those words leaving her mouth she couldn’t help but to run her foot up Lena’s calf. 

“Wanna play?” 

The words were so flirtatious, the look in her eyes and she wore a smug look. Oh they use to do these challenges every date. Each time the outcome was always different. Never the same person winning. 

Lena’s eyes flashed up boring into Alex’s raising her brow and smirking. The confidence and the smug look in her eyes was intoxicating as always and Lena could feel herself give over to it. They were supposed to be discussing Isabella not playing around but she was struggling to keep focus without Alex pulling this sexy seductive routine. Without removing her heel she raised her leg placing the shoe onto Alex’s abs and the heel between her legs not pushing too hard just enough for Alex to feel a slight bit of pain.

“Now that was silly wasn't it considering that my other kink is being right, and my main kink always gets you red in one way or another pet”

Alex couldn’t help but take a big gulp before chewing on her lip. Fuck she totally forgot how good at this Lena truly was. Alex gripped Lena’s ankle that was between her legs. They did love to do this roleplaying thing. They had many games depending on the mood and who was taking the lead but there was always something so exciting about Lena being Dominant, she was actually soft and sweet but loved to play the other roles because of the reaction Alex had when she did.

“Oh my Queen, I’ve been training, I had lots of training from you that I’m sure the cheeks on my face won’t get red. Isn’t that what you meant, Mistress?” 

Alex’s voice was a teasing way one of which would either make Lena excited or have her dominate side coming out more to play. 

Lena eyes narrowed and she pursed her lips squaring her jaw and fully embracing the role as it was, she shouldn't be doing this, she was already emotionally invested, and aroused this was asking for trouble, but then that was her favorite thing about date nights she never knew what trouble they would get into. Slipping her foot out of Alex’s grasp and pressing hard on her core with the ball of her shoe, Lena spoke in what could only be described as her boardroom voice.

“You did not ask permission to touch, for that you need to kiss the shoes”

Lena wondered if she still had the power to get Alex to do that in public, these were not play shoes either, so she wasn't sure how far Alex would go with this, her knee high leather boots that had never left the house, sure but these were just regular shoes. How much did Alex want to win? 

Alex couldn’t help but to smirk the thing was she was always trying to find new ways of impressing Lena. So with that she pushed Lena’s foot away from her before disappearing sneakily under the table to kiss the top of her shoes and kiss over the open part of her shoes up to her ankle and up her shine. Her fingers trailing lightly over both legs. Her eyes looking up at Lena just in case she was brave enough to look down she wanted her to also catch those eyes. No words were needed for this. 

Lena didn't break character even though she was very surprised at Alex’s actions, she looked down to see her eyes looking up and the and she raised a brow at her, Alex’s pupils were blown and she was clearly very aroused, as much so as Lena herself. Lena moved her hand under the table and stroked Alex’s face, dam if she thought that it was acceptable she would have Alex pleasure her right there, she wanted her to, she wanted Alex, grabbing her hair she pulled her face closer to her own core before turning it upward.

“You are denied, you have not presented correctly to your mistress there will be no reward until you can behave appropriately now go, sit.”

Lena didn't want to deny her, she wanted to take her, to be taken it had been so long but she needed to stop this she needed to get back to the matters at hand and not get distracted, she was already wanting more, what would happen if she gave in. She also knew that denying Alex made her even more submissive and she would beg. 

Alex loved when Lena was so in charge like this, but it didn’t stop the whimper that came from her mouth when Lena pulled her hair. It wasn't the pain she loved that the way that Lena took charge and manipulated her, she thought she was going to be placed in position to please her. Oh she was so aroused by her wife, giving in to that would not be anything terrible? 

Alex of course being the submissive little one that she was for Lena got up in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. 

“That was so not fair. I did present myself wonderfully for you. I even kissed your shoes. So tell me why I didn’t have permission to pleasure you Mistress. Could it be that you are scared that you will be too loud?” 

Oh and now Alex was indeed being a disobedient bottom something that always had her being punished. 

Lena grinned she had Alex fully invested in the role she couldn't help but think that Alex truly wanted to be doing this maybe they were still in a place where they could be back together, maybe Alex wasn't done yet, but there was also that nagging thought that there was that familiarity, that it was easy to fall back into patterns and old ways of being, especially with someone that you had invested so much time in.

“I do believe Pet that you did not ask for permission to speak, and I do believe that although you kissed your mistresses shoes, you touched without instruction and were not naked kneeling in presentation, you have become sloppy, if you wish for permission then present yourself appropriately”

Alex’s eyes widened as she listened to Lena’s words the way that she was being so in charge of everything was incredible but there was no way that she was going to be in this restaurant naked. Not right now she couldn’t. 

“I can’t do that, Mistress. After All this is our favorite place and I’m sure you wanted to be banned from here at all.” 

Alex reached out to reach Lena's hand. She wanted the feel of Lena to know that no matter what they would always have each other. 

Lena grinned it had not been a blush but it was a refusal which was as good at throwing in the towel, she saw Alex’s hand coming over the table to her and could see that she was back to her normal self although the level of arousal had not subsided it would appear in either of them, the hand gesture was Alex’s symbol that she was comforting Lena, it was not the romantic gesture that people thought in their case it was the sign that someone was always there. The gesture reminded her that they were her to have a discussion to make a way forward where they would always work together for Isabella. Lena looked up and smiled, squeezing Alex’s hand back.

“I believe that is a forfeit and that makes me the winner, you know what you have to do as the loser of the bet. I will wait for collection until later, the waiter is coming, and I am ravenous”

Lena did mean that the way it sounded she was and she could tell that Alex knew it but she needed to get back to the conversation at hand which was ordering then Isabella. She ordered in italian and smiled at the waiter before looking back at Alex.

“I am worried about our daughter, I thought we had done well to keep her out of the middle of everything, Alex but it appears that we have not, living under the same roof will help, and I am committed to the promises I made, provided that you are happy with them too.”

Alex rolled her eyes playfully before shaking her head. 

“Woah woah there beautiful. Slow down. That was not part of the deal Lena. It was only for one of us to make the other blush. I didn’t forfeit it at all. I’m simply telling you that I cannot do that. So the bet is still going my dear Queen.” 

With that she turned and ordered the same dish as Lena before looking at Lena when she started talking about their daughter. Alex realised that they needed to talk Lena looked worried and she wanted her to be relaxed on the non date, date.

“We didn’t keep her out of what? You don’t need to make promises. I just ask you not to have her around your mother and to not ever leave me or Isabella. The rest is history. I don’t mind if you want to do something just the two of you. You should have that right. As long as you have someone with you. Your mother is very villainous. So please safeguard by having someone with you.” 

Alex let her hand squeeze Lena’s because they were being so serious and that’s something that she always made sure that she would always be patient with because she knew how hard it was for Lena to be so open with her. They had not been sharing, the fights had been hard and took a toll on the ability to just be open, Alex liked that things were changing.

Lena raised her brow and looked at Alex, she needed this discussion she needed to know that they were going to be working together and both keeping the promises to Izzy. she may have negotiated with her and agreed, but Alex and her needed to be committed to always having a united front and committing to their promise to Isabella, Lena caught alex saying that she wanted her to promise she would never leave her, first before Isabella and her heart jumped in her chest.

“I mean we didn't manage to shelter her from our own pain and mistakes, and she had paid for that I am sorry for that and I never wanted to hurt her in any way. You know how scared I was about becoming a mom and how I would most likely make a mess of it. I still am only now I have a sassy three year old telling me I am messing it up. You are so good at it, I feel like I am always playing catch up. Now she at least has you that she trusts, but I want her to trust me and I promised her today Alex I promised that I would be there and I mean it, I never wanted to hurt her or you, and moving forward I want to know that we are going to be able to have you with me for family day that we will always commit to it, and as much as we didn't talk about ite today I want us to, always talk about what is best what we will do and always be a team on out daughters side”

Lena realised that was a lot and that she gave no time to answer or even comment but she had to get it all out as as she was starting she needed to keep up momentum, this was connected to her biggest fears that she was just like them, that she would be as bad a parent and she just needed it all out there.

Alex looked at Lena with big eyes never in a million years did she think this would happen. Let alone that Lena would be doubting herself as a mother. That’s what hurt the most but she knew one thing for certain she was never going to let her go. 

“Woah take a deep breath Lena. First of all, Isabella will always tell you when you mess up even if it’s just because you hurt her feelings. You are doing so well with it. Of course we will always be on our daughters side no matter what. As for family day I wouldn’t miss it. This family day is going to be the one day a week that I actually look forward to each and every single day.”

Lena smiled the thought of family day would be the thing that pulled her through every other day too she had a lot to lose and didn't want to risk looking anything. She looked over at Alex. She was more than happy to play house with her, she wanted it to be real more than anything.

“I am happy that you said that I would hate there to be a reason that we can't all be together as a family, our love created Isabella and she deserves to be surrounded in it, even if it is only one day a week.”

Alex looked at her with a soft smile because she was worried that all this would sometimes be for nothing because it didn’t matter how much she wanted to be with her wife. What she knew is that no matter how hard she pushed Lena to be together with her that she would never in a million years take it that far if she didn’t want it. Sometimes Alex got these emotions from Lena that said that Lena did want to try again and other times she got the impression that Lena just wanted them to just be co-parents together. It was frustrating to her.

“Thank you and of course one day a week. She deserves to have both her parents with her no matter what that may be. We are going to be in her life for as long as we both shall be alive. So I don’t see the big deal. Maybe if we are lucky we will have more than just one day a week for family day.” 

Lena looked up there again the feeling from Alex that she wanted to be with her still, that she was still in love with her, she didn't just love her as the other mother to their beautiful daughter. The food arrived and Lena paused in her answer, her impulse was to just tell Alex everything the truth that she loved her that she wanted to be with her, that above all else in her life her family was most important. She wanted to be that open that vulnerable, but she was scared and the waitress gave her a way out, to think.

“I think that any more would be a bonus Alex, we need to have time to talk just us, to think about how we are going to approach things and when there are decisions, we need to be together on it, family time i want for us all just to be together, so would you be happy to have dinner with me, just me to talk about our daughter…..”

Lena wanted to say weekly, it was when date night was disrupted by work and other things and they stopped spending time alone that things started to fall apart. She wanted that stability back, she wanted it all but she didn't know if Alex really did, or was this all for Izzy?

“...um it doesn't have to be weekly if you can't make that but I think we should make sure that we commit to it, and anything more is a bonus Alex, I love our family”

Alex couldn’t help but smile at her as she watched Lena. The truth was so far beyond what Alex actually knew to be true, Alex was always willing to make sure that both Isabella and Lena were happy. The two of them were her everything. 

“I think that it should be weekly and I’ll make sure that I am committed to it and that it stays that way. I love our family more than words can say also. 

From Flirtatious to sexual, to anxious to sweet, Lena and Alex had been going through a emotional rollercoaster, it showed just how much they needed this alone time there was so much that they had not been expressing to each other. The meal continues to dessert and coffee and the conversation mellowed and found a comfortable pace and common ground finally catching up on what had been going on like the old days, there was still a lot to discuss and they needed more time together to really get through it all, and get to a place they were both happy but the night had gone so well. It was also good that thesexual frustration was the first thing out the bag otherwise there could have been a different slant on the evening, neither would admit they had wanted at this point both so pleased that they were able to have this time. They were finished and ready to leave, at least in locality, neither wanted the night to draw to a close.

Lillian had used her phone to find out where Lena was, she had put a locator on her phone the last time she was in the office and with any luck she wouldn't have found it yet. Pulling up outside a restaurant she could see Lena, she was smiling, and at dinner with Alex. Lillian’s face contorted into a grimace, clearly this Danvers sister is as bullheaded as the alien one. She had to get Lena alone for her plans to work, that meant removing her from Alex once and for all. She smiled, the gesture looked odd on the face of the stoic woman, Lena had always hated her fathers drinking and then married a drunk, and she had the proof to show a leopard doesn't change its spots. She needed Lena to be somewhere without Alex before she would send it; she didn't want Alex explaining it away. These two would be over even if it was the last thing she achieved in this world, her daughter would not be involved with an Alien lover and her alien sister.

With that as Lena and Alex exited the building laughing and joking, Lillian’s car pulled away at speed. Both women looked up neither realising who was in the car.


	13. Coming together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Lena have a sweet morning before Alex's Izzy day and Lena agrees to have lunch, she ends up dealing with issues at the office and a unpleasant discussion with Lillian. she finally talks to Alex about her mothers interference, and they start to plan how they can beat this together.

Alex had taken the day off from work because it was her and Isabella’s mother daughter's date. Something she always looked forward to doing. Even if she wouldn’t admit it to anyone she wished that she and Lena would do this more with Isabella because she felt like Isabella needed that as a child growing up. So she knew no matter what her mothers faced she could always come home and talk to them or wait for a date with one of them. Which is why today she would make it known how she felt about it and make sure that every week she has at least one date with each mom and one date with both of them. Alex would also make sure that she kept this alive. 

Alex got up and went downstairs to start breakfast. That was the thing she had this whole day planned even if it was only meant to be a shopping day. Everyone knows that Alex doesn’t really do shopping unless it’s fun shopping like toys. Yet, she made sure to call and set up appointments for her and Isabella to get their hair done and after that they would go to the malls. From the mall she had a restaurant in place. Of course the trampoline park would be grand too. 

Alex couldn't plan a day without thinking about the implications and the cost, the day was going to cost money, and Alex always considered the money aspect. She knew she was going to call Lena and tell her the plans she thought about before Isabella even woke up. After all, Alex was always the one who was always scared of running out of money. It’s not that she was ever poor by any means. Eliza and Jeremiah weren’t poor they both had stable and good jobs and they even took in Kara. that caused a strain a little after her father disappeared but they still had enough, they just weren’t rich either. 

So they taught both girls how to think if they wanted something would it be worth it? The thing was Alex did think the day she had planned for Isabella would be worth it yet she was also scared that she was going to be spending too much money on making memories with her daughter. Maybe that’s why she was going to have to call Lena. To talk this over with her. It wasn’t that she thought that Lena would say no because she knew she wouldn’t. Actually it was more that she wanted to be told to just do it and not think about it like she always did. That’s always what Lena told her to do. 

Getting her phone off the table she dialed Lena’s number and waited as the phone rang to her Mobile. Hearing the way that Lena spoke answering the phone all very being professional, she had been transferred so wherever Lena was this was an office call that she was seeing. 

“Hey Lee. It’s just me. I have a few things I need to discuss with you before, I'm over thinking things right? Are you ready? Are you sitting down?” 

Lena walked inform her office in the brownstone and leaned against the door frame, looking at Alex she may have had to tear herself out of Alex’s arms and head to the home office to set in motion the day but there was one thing that she wanted to do before she went into the office and that was have breakfast with her girls, she caught the train of thought and cursed herself. 

“Well I think the phone is unnecessary, I am more than happy to come and sit down, but I want more coffee, I can smell you have made more, then I am all yours, for talking you off the proverbial ledge about whatever this is.”

Lena grabbed a coffee and headed to the table and sat next to Alex, still dressed in the oversized tshirt and sweats she had worn to bed with her messy ponytail and glasses on. Lena wrapped her fingers around the mug warming her hands on the heat from the coffee and leaned in closing her eyes to smell the delicious aroma and took a small sip. She looked up at Alex and smiled sweetly.

“Please continue with explaining the problem”

Alex was shocked that Lena was still here. When she didn’t see Lena in the morning she just assumed that she had gone into the office since so much was unfolding. Alex couldn’t help but to watch Lena as she let her hands hold onto her warm coffee mug, concentrating a little too much on her long fingers and the look on her face as she breathed in the aroma, catching her eyes as she smiled Alex swallowed hard. 

“Well, I know that it’s only supposed to be a shopping date but I was thinking of taking her to get her hair done because she wanted to do like a few strikes of non permanent pink and blue streaks in her hair. So I made an appointment for that because let’s be honest it’s always about time I do something with my hair. I was thinking maybe getting it cut short but I don’t want to do that. I was also thinking of just making the dye more red, like red, red. I’m not sure. Just something.” 

Alex took a deep breath because now she knew that she was rambling. Fuck her life. She was always not good at this. 

“Then I was going to take her to the big mall and let her pick out like four new outfits since she loves clothes. Maybe even like five toys since it was supposed to be just a shopping day. Then I was going to take her to a nice restaurant. The one that me and you loved to go when we first got together. Since she’s never been there I made us reservations and I said three just in case you got time to stop by. Then afterwards I wanted to take her to the trampoline park. I think it’s just going to be too much. Like I over thought this whole thing.” 

Alex let her hands run through her hair. Honestly, Alex was breaking. This was the thing she struggled with most. Wanting to do fun things with Isabella like this but always thinking it would strain the bills and such. 

“Do you think that’s too much?” 

Lena looked at Alex, she wasn't asking if the plans were too much she wasn't really asking if there were too many activities, or if Lena was ok with the hair, Lena knew exactly what this was about, the same thing as always. Money, Lena never cared about how much Alex spent on Isabella. She didn't care how much she spent on food or the house or herself. She did however know that this was a big deal to Alex. Lena raised her brow and smiled at her shifting her position to pull her knee up under her chin and wrapping her arm around her leg.

“Ok well, you were the one that insisted we do not spoil her so I think that if you think that is acceptable then I am going to tell you not to worry about it, I gave you access to money for Isabella, with that you could hire a jet, buy out disney and take her shopping on Rodeo drive without making a dent. That is also a different fund to her college money, that will take her to PHD if that is what she chooses. I love that you want our daughter to value money, and not just expect the world, but this is a lovely day, I am sure that this will make her very happy, and after the past few months she deserves it, if you are sure you don't mind me crashing your mommy day, I would love to meet you for Lunch what time is the reservation?”

Alex couldn’t help but to watch as Lena got comfortable with her leg. That was one way that she sat all the time that she loved. It was so natural and a side that not a lot of people got to see. Which had Alex laying her head on the leg that wasn’t pulled up under her chin as she listened to the words coming out of Lena’s mouth. 

“I know that. You are amazing when it comes to money for Isabella I’m just. Scared one day we will run out. I just don’t want you thinking it was too much money in one day. I mean the toys she is into now aren’t exactly as cheap as they were when she was a baby. I didn’t ever realize how expensive they actually were till Isabella. I mean I do think she is always worth it. Just please Lee, I’m trying. I’m just not good at this money thing. I never have been.” 

Alex couldn’t help but to chuckle at her own lame joke. 

“Of course I’d be okay with you joining us for lunch. I made it for twelve because I know that’s your favorite time to take lunch when you are working at the office. You’d have to leave the office a little early or show up a little late. I’d love to have you there and so would Isabella.” 

With those words Alex looked right up into Lena’s beautiful emerald eyes, just now noticing her glasses that made her gasp. Shit she hasn’t seen her in those glasses in months and they were one of her favorite things. 

“You..glasses.” 

Speechless is what Alex was she had to shut her eyes because now she was breathless and her heart was beating so fast. This would be the only time that Alex would have seen her that she didn’t make sure that Lena knew to whom she belonged. After all Alex couldn’t do that now could she? 

Lena had been surprised at the way Alex had placed her head on her lap, she loved the way she would do that, her hand had instantly reached out for a moment to play with her hair like she used to when they were sitting like this on the couch, god she missed this, the comfortable feeling that she always had when she was with Alex, just the two of them, after the date last night and this, Lena could feel herself falling. She had not stopped loving Alex, and knew that she was still in love with her, but right now she could feel herself falling for Alex again like it was the first time.

She was about to sooth Alex some more, after all Alex was amazing with money and if there ever came a time where they were working regular jobs and had to be careful with money, Lena would most definitely be putting Alex in charge. However Alex picked that point to look up and clearly she had not noticed the glasses earlier, the dilating pupils and the increase of breath instantly showed Alex’s arousal, Lena thought for a moment and then blushed brightly, she had not brought her normal glasses from the penthouse and she was using the ones that they would use in roleplay, she bit her lip, what she wouldn't have given for Alex to have presented herself for the taking. That thought was interrupted by Isabella running into the Kitchen.

“Mommy, momma, breakfast, please, can you get me drink please.”

Izzy’s eyes had lit up seeing them both at the table and run over throwing her arms around both and holding them tight. She was full of beans this morning Alex was going to have her hands full today.

“Hey Izzy pop, good morning beautiful, Momma needs to shower so she can enjoy breakfast with her two beautiful girls, so I am going to head up to get ready whild you and mommy cook breakfast, and then I will be back to eat with you before you go out with mommy ok”

Izzy was happy that they were both there and was hoping they would all be together again today but she was happy to be getting mommy all day and breakfast with both her parents was also a treat. She was still feeling like things were not quite right and she was anxious that this wouldn't last but she wanted so much to believe that things were changing.

“Otay, mommy, mommy pancakes I help”

Alex groaned slightly as she heard the chipper voice of her daughter because yes she was comfortable on Lena’s lap and now that meant that she would have to unwind herself from Lena. She grabbed her ankle on the other leg that she was not laying on and in a very childish whiney voice. 

“No.. please don’t get up or make me get Izzy her things. You are just so damn comfortable.” 

Alex looked at Isabella pouting because she wanted some bacon and eggs today not pancakes. 

“What about bacon and eggs instead? Doesn’t that sound better?” 

She looked at Isabella before turning her head into Lena’s stomach and closing her eyes. How could Lena want to leave this position like this? Was Alex still her weakness? 

Lena hated the way that Alex did that, went all soft and adorable and needy, it was she supposed her fault for wearing the glasses it always promoted her needy and submissive side, and Lena loved it, she also loved how Alex always wanted that one more, I love you, or kiss, or to call back just once more, she always made it so hard to leave her, but with her Mother after Alex she really did need to go back to the office. Allowing herself to do what she had denied herself moments ago she ran her hand through Alex’s hair and softly scratched her scalp before scratching the top of her neck. This always used to convey Lena’s difficulties in leaving and hoped it still had the same feeling for Alex.

“You two have a wonderful day planned and I have to work, if I stay here longer, I will miss breakfast and won't be able to meet you both for Lunch. I ….”

Lena was about to say that she did not want to leave at all, that she would happily quit her job on the spot if it wasn't for the current issues, just to stay in this perfect moment, but she was cut off by Isabella and the moment was lost. Who was pulling at Alex.

“Otay, otay mommy we have bacon, come on, drink please, mommy, mommy what are we doing, mommy, breakfast”

Alex relaxed in Lena’s movements because they always told her that Lena really didn’t even want to leave but she had to. With that Alex sat up before catching Lena’s eyes. 

“Fine but hurry because I talked her into eggs and bacon. Would you like some sausage?” 

Alex stood up and kissed Lena’s cheek before picking up Isabella and swinging her around in a circle. 

“Now what does my little monkey want to drink? Oh you want to help make the eggs?” 

Alex looked over at Lena before biting her lip. 

“Oh and would you mind laying out my clothes for me? I have no idea what I want to wear. The last time I went out with Isabella I was wearing white and she spilled her chocolate milk all over me..” 

To be honest it was a lame excuse at having Lena pick out something for Alex that she wanted to see her in at lunch. 

Lena nodded and stood, as she walked out of the room she moved her hand to her cheek, last night they were very much as they used to be and that had continued this morning that kiss, it felt like more, like it was something more and Lena wanted it to be true she sighed and went up to their room. Showering and getting ready including contacts, and placed a outfit for both Alex and Isabella on their respective beds, she walked down to find that there was already a mess, and there was also breakfast. She tried to hide her smile by biting her lip and walked in.

“This looks great Alex, I see you went for sausages after all, that is very off brand Director Danvers” 

Lena sat and tucked into the food loving watching her girls eat and enjoying the elongated morning, even though it was only eight thirty she felt like she had a whole morning with her girls and hated to leave. Her phone rang signalling Franks Arrival.

Alex had coughed at the comment but didn't comment, both of the girls ate before Alex started getting the plates and dishes into the sink. She looked over her shoulder at Lena. 

“I promise I’ll clean this when we get home but I kind of want to get us going too. Is that okay? Oh and can Frank drive me and Isabella today?” 

That was odd for Alex. She never asked Frank to drive them. She was actually the one that normally complained about having a driver. 

“That way I can just keep my focus on Isabella and we can drop you off at work and then we can also pick you up. Actually I think this is brilliant if I do say so myself. I mean I could always drive.” 

Now, Alex’s face was red because she used to tell Lena all the time that she would never in a million years use her driver to drive her around because she just didn’t understand it. 

“I guess I win our little wager after all, Director.”

Lena kissed her reddened cheek and smiled, she was heading out now but Frank could be back by the time she had Issy and herself ready.

“I will have him circle back and yes you can have him, but send him over to get me for lunch please, and Alex, it is always alright, you have planned a beautiful day, get her whatever she wants and maybe you could treat yourself too if you see something you like, or maybe Izzy can get you a little something.”

Lena headed out winking at Alex and got into the car, disappearing off to LCorp to start her day, constantly thinking about Alex and Izzy and what they would be doing hoping that Alex would remember to send Frank for her, she had given him instruction and he had returned to get them.

Alex smiled as she looked at Lena and just shook her head. She felt okay when she said that Frank would be back to pick them up. What felt even better is the fact that Lena didn’t harass her about wanting to use him. 

Alex looked over at Isabella before she took off running. 

“Momma got us out clothes let’s go get dressed so we can be outside waiting for Frank!” 

Izzy was not happy that Momma always picked something that she didn't want to wear. She wanted to choose all by herself. She was not a baby. She looked at Alex and pouted. She wanted to be listened to. She wanted to be able to say what she wanted and not be pushed into things. She felt very out of control and wanted nothing more than to be the one that made the choices for herself. That would be her and her mommy and her momma living happily with no work and lots of time to play.

“I can pick, I want to pick please”

Alex looked at Isabella and she couldn’t help but to say yes at the pout and she used her manners, maybe Lena wouldn’t care so much that she did in fact let Isabella pick her clothes. 

“Okay fine. Go pick. Make sure the clothes match. Don’t take too long. Frank should be here soon.” 

With that Alex went off to the bedroom to start getting changed into a gray bra and some matching panties nice low cut black shirt and a pair of tight jeans a pair of gray socks and then she put her black vans on to call it a day. 

Alex then walked down the steps to wait for Isabella wondering what was taking her so long. She was just like Lena. 

Izzy looked at the little outfit that was on her bed, she had blue jeans and a blue tshirt with some sneakers, it was her favorite tshirt. It was the one that had the rainbow pony on it and the sneakers had her too. She smiled at the outfit and put it on, her shoes on the wrong feet her jeans and tshirt on, she was on her way to Alex when she was distracted by the poney that was sitting on the dressing table, she was not where she belonged, she went over and forgot about going out organising the poneys into their places, and then starting to play. It wasn't until the car horn outside that she remembered that she was supposed to be going out with Mommy.

“Mommy mommy, Frank, I ready look, did it all myself”

Alex smiled as she looked at Isabella. Oh one day they would get the shoes on the right feet but however today was not that day. 

“Switch feet little one, they are on the wrong feet and pick your hoodie for the day.” 

With that Alex laid them out for Isabella. Alex grabbed her own hoodie grabbed her wallet and keys.

There was a few hours before lunch, the hairdressers went as well as can be expected with a over excited three year old, the hair was done but she had adorably terrorised all the other people having their hair done while running around with foils, Alex noted next time she wouldn't have her hair done at the same time. The first mall was the one with the shoes Alex cursed that wasn't the place to be, until the outfits were picked there was no point in getting the shoes after all they would have to match the outfit. Izzy already managed three treats for herself and something small for Alex and Lena. Alex looked at her watch and smiled, heading out with the bags sending Frank off for Lena.

Frank had arrived and called up for Lena. She was more than happy to have a break looking through this was not something that she wanted to do. As surprised as Jess was that she was leaving when she said that she was meeting Izzy and Alex, she smiled hoping that they would finally work it all out there was no better couple that she knew. Lena arrived and made a big fuss of Isabella and her beautiful new hair, and looked at everything they had brought it looked like they had already had quite the day. Alex looked amazing. Her hair really popped not, it had been a while since her hair looked like that and Lena loved it, it showed her naughty defiant streak that she loved in Alex. Alex enjoyed the additional time with Lena but there was something a little off, she didn't want to push at this time, especially with Izzy. There is what Lena had said the night before, she wanted to make sure that they were indeed on the same page. Lunch was over all too quickly none of them wanted to leave the restaurant, but Lena had a lift to LCorp and the girls headed to the mall.

Lena was back in the office. She had managed to smooth things out there were three new board members to appoint and there were a few others that she needed to replace but in general after yesterday things seemed to be moving forward nicely. She had an amazing night with Alex, they were going out again tonight, Kara was really helping she was babysitting again tonight so they could go out after Alex’s mom day with Isabella. Lena couldn't help but think that it felt a lot like dates, but that was absurd. Why would they be going on dates, after all they were divorced, only a week or so. Lena sat back in her chair and stretched, she had been looking through the shortlist of resumes that Jess had compiled.

She had been doing it all morning and was just taking a few moments to herself thinking about what her girls would be doing right now, Alex had decided on a variety of options for their day together, she had the whole day off Lena thought that was a little odd but Alex said it was because she was working over the weekend, not on Family day though. She loved the fact that she had committed to what they had discussed with Izzy and wondered if she had swapped a day to ensure that she had a day off over the weekend. She looked at her watch. It was later than she thought, it was three already another couple hours and she could go home. She smiled as she stretched in her chair and kicked off her heels.

Izzy was having an amazing day. She had breakfast with both her parents then went and had hair and shopping and lunch out then more shopping she was thinking that this was the best day ever when she was taken to the trampoline park. Izzys eyes lit up and she took Alex’s hand leading her into the park and running straight for the trampoline.

“mommy , mommy, jump me mommy, higher”

Alex paid for the two of them before joining her daughter on the trampolines and looking at her daughter. 

“Remember small children stay on this side of the trampolines.” 

It was the toddler section it wasn’t that Alex was afraid of Izzy getting hurt but more or so that there was just a lot of other kids around running everywhere and okay maybe making her a little nervous.

After many times of making sure that Isabella was having fun yet rushing her off the trampolines when the bigger kids came over pushing their way through she couldn’t help but shake her head. It was a lot to do. She knew that she would be fine however. 

Taking Isabella to the toddler area where she could just run and jump as freely as she wished she watched her. Taking pictures and encouraging the tiny little human to keep going and to have fun. Surely that child would sleep well tonight. 

After spending an hour there at the trampoline park she couldn’t help but to try and bribe her daughter into going home.

Lena was sitting at her computer when it jumped and then the screen went black before the last person that she wanted to see was on the screen, Her mother's face beaming back at her, stoic, uncaring, unmoving just that perfectly maintained brow lifted with that smirk. The Luthor I am better than you look, she had gotten into her Laptop. Lena would have to look at how that happened and correct it.

“Mother, whatever it is you want, I am not interested, you may have been able to slip spies into my company and drugs into my alcohol, but even with all that, I am still at the head of the company and I am still in control of my mind, and even when I wasn't I still had enough to ensure you are out of the picture, and I meant it, I want nothing to do with you ever”

Lillian looked back at Lena, oh Lena the one child that she had such high hope for and yet the child that let her down the most. It was such a pity really. If you thought about it. It was pretty bad. 

“Can’t you see, all this hard work and everything that I do. I do for you and Isabella and even Lex. One of these days you will come to me and you will want me to be there for you. Don’t worry child I’ll be here with open arms. Awaiting your arrival. Unlike the Alien and her sister I will never leave you. No matter how much you try and push me away.” 

Lillian rolled her eyes unamused at the way her childish grown child was acting. 

“I am incredibly impressed that you figured this all out so quickly. I thought that it would have taken you more time than this. Bravado isn't enough to keep me down.” 

Lena looked at her, and rolled her eyes, she was not in the mood to talk to this toxic woman, in fact she was completely serious she wanted nothing more to do with her, she was never getting anywhere near Isabella again. Lena may still have hope that she and Alex could work things out, and be friends if not more. Lena really hoped for more she was still in love with Alex but was just unable to get the words out no matter how hard she tried to, it was a step too far for her at the moment made her just a little too vulnerable.

“Mother, don't try that, there has never been anything that you have done for me that was actually for me. You use the excuse that just because I don't like something, doesn't mean it isn't best for me, and that you love me and do this for me. I know what is best for me and that is not being anywhere near you, you are a selfish hateful woman, it's no wonder that you are alone, even your golden boy tried to kill you. Everything you do is subterfuge and deception used for you to push forward whatever nefarious plan you are working and I am through with it, through with you.”

Lillian laughed in a static way as she shakes her head. One day and it would be today that she destroys Alex and Lena. 

“Oh my petty child I was simply trying to to stop you from making the same mistake I made with your father. You know I love you. That Alien thing told you that I am trying to save you from the life I had. Soon you will see that a tiger doesn’t change it’s stripes.” 

With that Lillian sent the photos of Alex with her hand around the glass of whiskey. A few of Alex walking into the bar. This would surely get Lena back on her side. After all she had despised Lionel’s drinking and the way he behaved when he was intoxicated.

Lena looked at the photo, Alex was in a bar, that was true, it was the day LCorp was attacked, they had argued. She sighed the drink wasn't in her mouth. It was Alex smelling the drink she always did that before she drank it was her thing. It was the same with wine drinkers and just because she smelt it didn't mean that she drank it. A few days ago this might have really affected Lena but without the chemicals in her body affecting her mind she was able to think more clearly. After all she picked up Isabella the next morning and Lena even with the slight haze on her memory knew that Alex was not hung over.

“Mother , I don't care how many photos you show me, she has been sober for five years. She is sober for our daughter, and really if that is all you have, Mother, you are wasting your time and mine, now either remove yourself from my computer or I will remove myself from the room”

“I’m telling you Lena, she’s going to hurt both of you. There is proof that she won't ever change like your father. You won’t fully understand that until she has your daughter in a car with her when she crashes it because she’s drunk or hungover. Luckily neither you or Lex were hurt but that is a pain I want to save you from. You aren’t stupid so just open your eyes. Do it fast before it affects your child, Lena.” 

With that Lillian had relinquished control of the computer, because now she knew that she planted that doubt into Lena’s mind. 

Lena finished up the work and headed home, she knew that she needed to talk to Alex about everything that was going on with her mother and they needed to think about the way to handle it. She may have been able to take on the board and dismiss her mother but she was worried about what else she had planned. She shouldn't have pushed her mother, she knew that she was dangerous and this was just extra fuel to the fire. She entered the house and called out to her family.

“Izzy Pop, Alex I am home”

Alex and Izzy both ran to Lena excited and ready to show her everything, they spent an hour looking at a mountain of clothing that had to be modeled and shoes toys that needed naming and some very cute things for Lena and Alex. All in all it looked like the day went well and Izzy and alex had massive smiles, she didn't want to ruin the day but she needed to talk to Alex and decided a quick bite to eat would work, there was not the big production as the night before they had called over J’onn and gone to the local restaurant, nothing fancy just a place to talk.

Lena was sitting at the table the food had arrived and she could no longer delay the discussion. She looked up and caught sight of those caramel eyes gazing at her and wished that this would be a nice evening like the last few, however she knew what she had to say was going to cause a distinct change in mood.

“Alex, I need to talk to you about my Mother, and LCorp what has been going on, now I haven't worked out what she is up to yet but I think that we both need to be on the alert, she is going to go all out now, she broke into my Laptop today to talk to me, I couldn't see where she was or trace her after”

Alex looked at Lena with wide eyes because this was insane and something that she wished she would have known. Instead of being on silly much needed dates with Lena she would be at home protecting Isabella. She was so scared not for her but for Lena and Isabella. They were the only two people in this place that mattered so much. 

“What? How long have you known? What are we going to do?” 

When Alex got nervous there were always tons of questions that followed. Although she was mainly focused and protective over what was her. Alex would be sure to keep a clear mind about how to go about this. 

“Should I call in the team and have them try and log it. I mean Brainy is really good with that sort of thing.” 

Lena loved the way Alex was suddenly focused and in her protective mode, it was something that she always loved about her, she could be doing anything but was always ready for action, it didn't matter if it was something that she had to do or think about her focus was instant. She smiled at her and touched her hand across the table.

“I love the way you do that switch into focus and just ready for whatever, always calm and ready.”

Lena wanted to tell her that she was in love with her, that she wanted to have her back, that everything would work out if they just had each other but it hasn't come out that way, she was stalling and she knew it.

“Well the board was working with my Mother, they were revitalizing some of Lex’s old projects, having the R&D department work on some Anti-Alien tech based on some of my early work, and they have been giving her funds from the corporate account funding whatever she has planned. Please don't worry though, I have shut it all down and stopped the funding”

Alex looked at her worry on her face. Alex was worried for her sister and all her friends. The thing was they were some of the best people that she came to know and love and trust. 

“I trust you Lena, but I don't trust her, we need to work out what she is planning until then we have to just be safe. To always watch after ourselves and to never leave our daughter with anyone who can not protect her, I know I can as can, you and there is Kara, Nia, J’onn and Brainy, the first choice would always be Kara. That way Brainy can concentrate on tracking Lillian, J’onn could look into finding her too using his connections as a PI and the former director. We need to look at the projects Lena maybe there is a connection? If we look at that along with any old Cadmus projects that we have found we may get ahead of her for once. Can we please agree to this? Also to the whole team helping no going alone on this not with Izzy ok?” 

Lena watched as Alex worked through things in her mind, she could almost see her formulating and strategizing. She was good at it, and together she was sure they could deal with Lillian, Lena could always out think her to a point unfortunately she used to always go it alone meaning that she didn't have the support but with Alex they could really finish this.

“Yes Alex we can but wait, Alex there is something else when she was talking to me, she was trying to get between us, trying to make me believe your drinking again, she showed me a picture of you at a bar. I told her that you haven't been drinking that she was wrong, but she clearly wants us apart”

Alex looked up into Lena’s eyes before reaching out and taking her hands in hers. 

“I would have told you about it honestly, but there was literally nothing to tell. I went to the bar and it was a bad day. I was lonely. I ordered my favorite drink that I use to drink all the time. I swear Lena, I only smelled it. You know me of all people. I worked so hard to become sober and I wouldn’t throw that away. We made a pact. You never wanted me to be a monster and saved my life and I changed for Isabella. I would never want Isabella thinking that I didn’t love her.” 

With that Alex reached in and grabbed her five year chip. 

“They always take the chip you know if you drink it as payment. Which is kinda fucked if you think about it. So I didn’t. I wouldn’t ever. Please believe me Lena.”

Alex looked at her confused. 

“Why would she want us to not be together or even talk? We have a child together.” 

Lena squeezed her hand and smiled at her, she knew that Alex was sober, she knew that she wouldn't do that to Isabella, or her, she knew it, in her heart. There was no way Alex was ever going to be that again, she knew her too well.

“Alex you don't need to explain, I believe in you I always have”

Alex smiled brightly as she listened to those words. The words of Lena believing in her and always having to believe in her. Those were the best words that she could ever have wanted to hear. That showed her that her Lena was still the Lena that she loved after all these years. 

“Thank you, Lee. For always believing in me. Sometimes I don’t know how I got so lucky for all that.” 

“Now come on pretty lady, let’s go home and get into bed and maybe do some cuddling.” 

Lillian was sitting in the car looking at her old colleague, as much as she detested Aliens they had their uses and this little shape shifter had come in handy many times over. She looked at him and waited, she was not in a patient mood and when no answer was forthcoming she raised a brow.

“There are others that would happily work with me for the protection I offer if you are not interested then i will find someone who is a terminate out little agreement”

The shapeshifter looked up this was not the normal request, he couldn't see how this was going to do anything of use, not that he particularly wanted to help this mad woman in any of her schemes but it was the only way he and his family world be safe.

“We can work together as always that is never in question I just don't understand what this will achieve, but it is not for me to understand I suppose”

“Precisely, why is none of your business and you want to keep it that way, I do not need you to think just do your little party trick and disappear, if you are caught this is what you are to tell them, this nothing more.”

Lillian handed over a script, for him to learn clearly this had significance for her and he was most likely going to get caught.


	14. Shattered hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its Lenas day with their daughter, and she is hoping that it will continue with Alex joining them. Lena is getting used to having Alex back but Alex is distracted and doesnt make lunch making way for Lillian to twist the knife

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can only appologise for the Lack of updates, recovering from surgary took longer than antispated, and my writing patner and i are on different timezones meaning that it was almost impossible for us to get together. as such the final three chapters are going up now.
> 
> thank you for sticking with me.

Lena woke up yet again in Alex’s arms and she was starting to forget what it was like to wake up alone, she had taken ages to become accustomed to that when they first got together but after six years going back to sleeping alone was the hardest thing ever. She didn't want to move, but there was work for Alex and her day with Isabella, she was sure that her day wouldn't measure up but she had planned some fun along with educational trips.

“Alex, sweetheart, you need to get up for work, you can have the bathroom first and I will make coffee, is there any chance you will make it to lunch today? It was nice yesterday wasn't it?”

Lena couldn't help the term of endearment slipping out of her lips she would put it down to tiredness, as she had just woken, but her heart knew different.

Alex groaned as she shoved her head into the pillow more. Alex would never be a morning person for as long as she lived. It always took her longer to get out of bed in the morning then it did Lena to get ready. Noon was when she would just be starting to awake fully. 

“No..’ She mumbled softly. Hating the fact that this would mean no more holding onto Lena. Alex with that thought reached out with her arms to pull Lena into her more. 

Lena could have dodged the sleepy arm that was heading to her, she could have easily out maneuvered the incredibly sleepy woman flailing about in the bed trying to stop her leaving. The truth was she didnt want to, she was more than happy to have a few more minutes with Alex, she was always a little grumpy in the morning but it was also when she was her most clingy, where she did everything she could to have Lena stay right where she was. She stifled the smile and allowed herself to be pulled in.

“I am not the one that has to work Alex, you can have five more minutes of cuddling and then whether you like it or not there will be a little one bouncing on this bed.”

“You better not send in our daughter to bounce on this bed. I broke her habit because I can be such a grump ass in the morning. I just hate mornings. Let us stay in bed all day and never think about anything going on outside. Please. Just til like noon. Isn’t that what I deserve?” 

Alex was trying everything for her to just let them be just them even for a few moments. 

Lena chuckled she knew that Alex would not be even close to herself until she had coffee, everyone thought that Lena lived on coffee alone but if the truth were known Alex drank more than she did. Alex was always best working in the evenings or nights, she really did hate the mornings, there was only one way that lena knew she could encourage her out of bed and that was not appropriate in this situation.

“I still havent had payment for you loosing that bet Alex, and yes you causing yourself to blush does count. If you expect me to stay here you can at least share the comforter”

Alex groaned lightly at the words that were coming out of Lena’s mouth but she did put the half of the comforter around Lena before wrapping her arms around her and kissing the crock of her neck. 

“That is hardly fair, Lena and you know it as well as I do. I made myself blush. Therefore it wasn’t you that made me blush. So no one won. So I’m not saying it. You have to say it, my Queen.”

They both hated losing that was for sure, Lena had won this dam bet twice already and each time Alex had made out like her claim was not legitimate, she snuggled into the comforter and moved her head as Alex kissed the crook of her neck, she loved it when she did that, rubbing her nose on the soft skin then kissing her. It was one of those perfect moments, and she could just stay there but that was not possible Alex had work and she had a day planned with Izzy.

“Now Alex you know the rules, on any wager, you can only veto one valid claim, you woosed out in the restaurant and you blushed first, thats twice. Come on Alex let me have this one.” 

Lena moved her hip slightly so that her body moved a little closer to Alex, her breasts rubbing softly against Alex’s as her thigh connected with her core. Teasing sensual, the way that would always have Alex backing down.

Alex groaned as she heard Lena. Of course Lena was right and that was okay and she loved her so much. She knew what she had to do, it was the matter of how she can come to terms with losing. After all she was a horrible loser and that was not something that she was even proud of. Alex took a deep breath. Now not only did Lena say those words but now she was moving her hip and those breasts, that were so perfect. She couldn’t help but to let the softest moan out before closing her eyes.

“Okay okay fine fine.. You Lena Luthor-Danvers are the bestest and brightest of the both of us. IN the entire world.” 

Lena smiled and kissed her on the nose that was definitely easier than she had expected, the words made her cringe but it had been a silly game night thing that stuck and as much as the sentence was not correct and the sentiment was not needed, it was a gesture of love, that Alex would give up her position and admit defeat. It was not often that she would do so so easily. Alex had also been great last night, the way she was about Lillian, the things that she has done in the past had always been aimed at hurting either Kara, Alex or Lena this time she was after Isabella and Alex had been calm and thoughtful, she had been just so caring and Alex”

“You know if I get up and make coffee you could keep the bed warm for when I come back, maybe after yesterday you deserve breakfast in bed? And a full stomach to help with my Mother issues? Not that any of the therapists I have had, had a lot of success with that but I am starting to think less talking more locking up and throwing away the key”

Alex couldn’t help but to look at Lena with wide eyes. She was indeed impressed that Lena would think about locking up and just throwing away the key. Lena often talked about how much people can change and she wanted to believe that so hearing that from Lena’s mouth was a bit of a shock to Alex. However Alex would do whatever it was that Lena wanted to do. 

“Well, now that I could live with, I haven’t had a good breakfast in bed in a very long time. Now chop chop Mrs. Luthor-Danvers.” 

Of course the words were said in a teasing way. One of which she loved to use on Lena all the time. 

Lena smiled and headed out of the room and down to the kitchen, she was busy working away, getting coffee and french toast, bacon, scrambled eggs, mushrooms, sausages and then juice. Carrying it all up to the bedroom Lena smiled as she looked at Alex, who had managed to not only snuggle back down but fall asleep again. She should have sent Izzy in but she was still sleeping, Lena checked.

“Alex come on, you need to sit up, you can't eat flat on your belly.”

Lena placed the food on the dresser and then went to sit by Alex’s side softly stroking her lower back. Encouraging her to open her eyes, she needed to get up for work and there was definitely a chance that if she didn't move soon she was going to be late.

“Breakfast is ready and if you don't eat it soon I am sure I know a bouncy three year old that will be more than happy to steal it.”

Alex couldn’t help but to laugh softly as she groaned. She didn’t want to let this go. She wanted to just lay here in bed and be as close to Lena as she could get. The thing was she needed this. Wanted to get them back to where they were before. 

“So you are saying that you don’t want me here any longer because work duty calls. Well, that sucks.” 

Finally Alex sat up in bed rubbing her eyes. 

Izzy had come running in and started to help herself to Breakfast with Alex, something that Lena knew would happen which was why Alex had enough for two. She sat with Izzy on the bed. Snatching up a few rashers of bacon and some toast before she headed to the bathroom to get ready, Alex smiled at her family all together on the bed as it used to be and her heart soared. Lena couldn't help but watch as Alex walked to the bathroom, she was always staring at the tight ass of Alex swaying as she walked off.

Lena finally got herself ready, and then turned her attention to Isabella getting her ready and heading out to the car. Alex had already left on her bike and she hoped that she would come to Lunch. Her and Izzy headed out to the science museum, playing with all the gadgets and gizmos on display, Isabella running around, and asking a million questions. It wasn't a trampoline park but it was something that her and Izzy always enjoyed. They stayed there until it was time for Lunch and Lena asked Izzy what she would like. Chuck E Cheese, typical, but it was fun at least she could be the fun Mom too. She messaged Alex to let her know where they would be hoping that this was going to be a little family time.

Alex walked into the DEO with a stern posture that meant business. There was nothing that was going to stop her. She needed to protect her family and she would do whatever it took to protect them. No matter how long it took. She filled everyone in about Lillian and the Anti Alien movement and how she got people to follow her and Lena, she was planning something and it wasn't just against them, she was trying to take over at LCorp, gain access and revamp weapons and initiative that had a distinct plan, to remove alien life. Now she also knew that she needed her best looking out for Lillian. So she put the best on it. 

Between getting the teams looking at the projects and weapons that she was trying to start and look for correlations and patterns to give a hypothesis about what she was doing, getting people to scan and track for her and everyone that has been connected to her. Checking the Cadmus buildings for activity and any of the known anti alien groups for resurgence, it took longer than she would have liked to admit and it was troubling. She didn’t get to make that lunch with her two ladies. That hurt more than anything because she was trying so hard to be there for them as much as possible but of course work always gets in the way of those sorts of things. It made her more angry, she was more than likely to be on a worse warpath because of it. Pity the fool who got in her way. 

Lena and Isabella had stopped at chuck e cheese, it wasn't somewhere that she would normally approve of, but it was what Isabella had requested when they were talking about Lunch, it was also another fun activity, Lena would let her play games and maybe she could try to play to, she was dressed for it after all. They sat by the window looking out at the waterfront. She had picked this one because it was a short walk from the DEO and if Alex was able to make it out even for a few minutes this would be easier for her.

Isabella had wanted Pizza, to much time with aunty Kara, but Izzy was active and she could easily burn the calories, Lena however could not so she had opted for a salad, she had also looked at her daughter that had Alex’s shape and realised that she needed to stop thinking about her daughters weight, she was not Lillian and Izzy was blessed with Alex’s more athletic frame, at least for now, who knew what puberty would do. She smiled as Isabella ran around from game to game trying to decide what to play as she sipped her coffee. She had wanted Isabella to eat first but she was so full of energy that she couldn't sit still.

Looking out of the window she saw Alex approaching and couldn't stop the wide smile that was suddenly filling her face, she couldn't remember the last time she had smiled like that. She watched as Alex’s face lit up as a woman crossed to her, Alex picking her up and swinging her around. The woman, a very attractive looking dark haired woman, slim and clearly fit wrapped herself around Alex and they started Kissing. The kiss was intense and passionate and Lena looked away, she couldn't stand seeing Alex kissing another woman. All the things happening in the last few days flirting, sleeping in the same bed, reassuring kisses. Everything was Alex protecting her, she thought that she was going to hurt herself, that she couldn't take the truth, she was acting to make sure Lena was strong enough before she told her about this other woman. She looked back and they were walking hand in hand and looked so happy.

Lena felt her heart crumple in on itself, the pain of the last six months had nothing compared to this. At least the seperation had been when they were not doing well this, this was torture, they were almost back to where they had began, Lena had fallen for her red head again. She moved from the window plastering on a smile for Isabella and joined her at the machines.

Isabella looked over at her mom before she kept playing her games. She could feel the energy change in her mother which had her more on edge than normal. That’s the thing with kids they can feel all that stuff. 

“Well, look at this game mommy.” 

Isabella’s voice was soft spoken, trying not to upset her mother. When she felt the energies of her mothers like this she was always more soft spoken and more drawn to behave and not act like herself in fear of making them cry or yell at her. 

“Ok Izzy pop, one game then we eat, then we can do soft play, the ballpark and all the games you want ok”

Lena knew she was over compensating but she needed more than anything for Isabella to be happy, for her to be able to see her, and as long as she kept proving that she was a good Mom Alex wouldn't take her away.

Isabella smiled wide before she played the duck squirting game getting a few tickets and squealing happily at the fact that she did however win the game. 

“I got three tickets mommy!” 

It was a little louder than before but she ran over to their table and climbed up onto the booth and sat down before she started banging her hands on the table. 

“Pizza! Where my pizza?!” 

Lena looked at the woman bringing over the food and shook her head lightly as she heard her daughter, she reminded her of her manners and they ate, Isabella scrunching her face at her mother's salad. Lena kept to her word playing the games and on all the activities that Izzy wanted to do. Izzy doesn't have so much fun. She extended the time twice. She didn't want to go home and face Alex, she didn't want to think but she eventually had to call Frank for the drive home. Isabella needed her bath and her routine, she was very routine focused, Lena could see how the current situation was causing her distress and wished that she had thought about it earlier.

Brainy had been searching for Lillian she needed to be found, Alex was strict at the best of times but with Lena and Isabella in trouble not to mention Kara she was much worse. He had already had to tell her twice that he had not been able to find her, and he was not going to go through that again. Then it happened, a sighting, it was not clear so Brainy looked for another angle, it was less than a minute ago.

“Director Danvers I have a sighting, less than a minute ago there is a 96.839% chance that with speed we could catch her. She is off ninth and hazel, just a few blocks from the bay, looks like she is talking with someone and her car is pointing in the direction of the docks and some of the previous Cadmus strongholds, she may be making a move towards some old supplies?”

“Great job, Brainy. I’ll get Kara to attend. Don’t lose sight of her, keep whatever camera you have on that woman there and I don't care who requests access. Keep that Camera on Lillina until Kara has her. You got this.” 

Encouraging that was always Alex when her team did something that deserved to be praised. She wasn’t always a bitch no matter what other people had said about her. That was the thing wasn’t it? That she needed to be better. She took out her phone and gave Kara a call. She needed her there quickly because there was no way in hell that she would let her get away again. That would truly piss her the hell off. 

Kara was at CATCO, she had already taken a number of days off, and had been very vacant from her desk, and as it was all family business it wasn't like she actually had a story that she could present. She needed to find something and fast for once all the family emergencies were just that. The phone went off and she looked at it, the DEO, she listened but couldn't hear anything out of the ordinary, Lena and Alex had accelerated heart rates, but nothing that suggested danger. She picked up the phone.

“Hey, what do you need? I am just at CATCO…..”

Kara was cut off by Alex and stopped talking to listen.

Alex didn’t have time for all the sisterly chat that would normally happen instead she said those words cutting her off completely. 

“Lillian is off ninth and hazel, just a few blocks from the bay. I need you there now, Supergirl. We need to finally catch that evil bitch.”

“No problem Alex I am going now.”

Kara didn't waste any time she was in the stairwell and on the roof in no time, whipping off her glasses and diving into the air, her suit still materialising around her, she was not going to let Lillian get away again, not this time, she was going to face up to what she had done this time, she was going to answer to Lena and Alex. rounding the building and heading to the location there was nothing there. There was no car, nothing, Kara took the registration partial that Brainy had and started her search, the car was nowhere to be seen, there was no voice to pick up on, no heartbeat that was out of place, there was nothing. Kara continued her search, it was past dinner by the time she finally gave in and landed at the DEO.

“There was nothing there, the car was nowhere to be found, I checked every Cadmus location known and there was nothing, no sign of her, Brainy are you sure it was her?”

Brainy looked at her and tilted his head. Did she really think that he had made a mistake, that he was somehow unsure of what he saw. He called up the image onto the monitor and showed Kara. It was Lillian. How did she keep slipping out of her grasp, this woman was more slippery than a drang, and just as dangerous.

Alex was under stress. All of it seemed to not be going well, she had plans equipment and people looking for Lillian, she had thought that this would be it. The lead would pan out and it would be over, she could concentrate on her family as she wished she could and she was fuming inside. All she really wanted was to catch Lillian so she and her family could be safe. She really needed Isabella to be safe. This constant worry of them never catching Lillian was starting to eat her away. Even if she didn’t take her work home with her. This was something that both her and Lena needed to be on the lookout for together because it didn’t just affect them anymore. 

“This is bullshit. I don’t understand how one fucking human can keep slipping through our fingers like this. Brainy you need to continue looking for her. As for me I need to get home to my family and make sure that they are okay. If you find her, call me. I don’t care what time it is. Lena will just have to understand.” 

With that Alex left the building going home to see her family. When she got there she helped Lena with Isabella’s night time routine. The bathing and brushing of the teeth. Reading her a book two times before she fell asleep with her stuff unicorn in her arms. Both her and Lena kissed the top of Isabella’s head before cracking the door open just a little and going downstairs. 

Once Isabella’s night time routine was finished Lena found herself in the kitchen with Alex still thinking about what she had seen while she was out with Isabella. She didn't want to be with anyone else but clearly Alex did. As much as it hurts her she didn't want there to be something unsaid and there to pull them apart they needed to be on the same page, even if it wasn't a relationship like they had before. Lillian would be able to get to them if they were divided.

“Alex we need to talk about what happens in the future. I mean we will eventually meet someone that we like and I think that we need to discuss how that affects our family, I hope that we can both continue with what we promised Isabella no matter who else comes along”

Alex looked at her so confused, Lena was talking about the future. A future that seemed to not have her in it. That stung so much. Did Lena already have someone? Why would Lena let it go on this long without being honest and truthful? Her heart was breaking into a million different pieces. 

“Lee, I promise you that it will always be Isabella no matter who else comes along. Did you meet someone new? Should I not be flirting or having sexual tension with you as much as I do?” 

Alex couldn’t help it. She always went there, always needed to know what was going through Lena’s mind and if she was crossing a boundary with her wife. The last thing she ever wanted to do was disrespect her. 

Lena tilted her head and looked up at Alex through have closed lids, she wasn't expecting this reaction at all, so Alex had been feeling the sexual tension too it wasn't her imagining it, oh she must have been putting alex into a really awkward position, but why did she think that she had someone new, and only she could say if the behaviour was inappropriate, she was seeing someone. Why was she trying to get her to say she was seeing someone would, it made it easier on her somehow. 

“I am not seeing anyone, I don't want to be Alex. I just think that we need to think about this, I mean will we still have family days? I am just concerned that with my Mother trying to divide us that we need to discuss this even if it isn't the most comfortable thing to talk about”

Alex wasn't telling her about the girl, maybe she wasn't ready but Lena didn't want to push it, she had wanted to add if I can't have you to her initial sentence but that wouldn't have been fair to Alex.

Alex was so hurt and worried that Lena didn’t want her. This was like ten steps back from where they just were. How could she have been so stupid to think that Lena really wanted to try with her again. Alex tried so hard to keep the tears at bay which worked more than she would have liked to admit. 

“Well, I don’t see why we are even thinking about this. If there is no one you are seeing because I can promise you there is no one I want to be with or to even see. I want you, Lena Luthor-Danvers.” 

Lena looked at her, the surprise flashed on her face and then hurt, how fragile did Alex think that she was if she was playing to Lena’s desire to be with her to keep her together. Lena didn't want that she didn't want to be placated and treated as someone who was fragile and on the edge she wasn't yes it was killing her that Alex was moving on, but what was hurting worse was the fact that she was hiding it while trying to make Lena feel like there was more going on here. Alex knew how to read her. She would have known that the breakfast in bed was a gesture, during the early part of the relationship Lena wouldn't stay, she would slip out. Breakfast in bed was the first time Lena stayed there all night. It was the point at which Lena finally committed to the relationship and told Alex she loved her.

“Maybe we should think about the sleeping arrangements, I have felt so safe and happy having you with me these past nights, I have been able to sleep but I am worried that it will be difficult if we completely embrace our old routine, for there to be anyone else”

Lena just wanted Alex to know that she would not be difficult she wouldn't cling to her and hold her back above all she wanted Alex to be happy and if she couldn't make her happy she wanted someone too.

Alex hearing those words, hearing that Lena didn’t want her to be sleeping in their bedroom with Lena anymore. That hurt so bad. She was letting her guard down and falling back in love with Lena. Well, to be honest she never fell out of love with her. This was just all too much. 

“If that’s what you want then I’ll respect your choice. You can have our room and I’ll take one of the guest rooms. I’ll just go collect some of my things.” 

With that Alex went up to their room collecting some of her things that she would need throughout the night and in the mornings. Her whole world was shattering around her. She didn’t think she had anyone right now but then she remembered her sister. With that she pulled out her phone and started calling her. Tears are now rolling down her face. She never truly cried over any woman before. Maggie hardly did. This was different. This was Lena her Lena. 

The pain that was squeezing her heart at being thrown away from Lena like some kind of trash was making it hard for Alex to breath. She needed to calm down but how could she when the one thing that she loved more than this world was gone. Not like physically gone but emotionally gone from her. 

Kara was flying above the city, scanning trying to find the shapeshifter. She had been to the alien bar and other places that aliens congregate but she had had no luck. She was about to take another loop when her phone went off and she could see it was Alex.

“I haven't found him yet Alex I am looking. I have been all day…...um Alex, what happened? your heart rate is up, what is it?”

Alex was a total mess. The thing was she always put Lena above all else. The only person who could be top of Lena on her list was Isabella. 

“So you mean I actually still have a heart. Someone can just come take it. Lena basically just broke up with me again. We weren’t even together. How does that even happen? I mean I love her so fucking much. Now I’m in our guest room without her and I can’t even breathe correctly. My whole heart hurts. Why do we even need them when all they do is break?” 

Alex just let the tears roll down her face as she grabbed her pillow pulling it into her. 

“I think she wants to see other people. Like no one can love her the way I love her. This is what she wants though so I have to respect that. It’s just I thought she and I were moving on. I thought we were doing that together.” 

It was as if Kara could hear the pieces of Alex’s heart hitting the floor as she shattered into little bits, she hated hearing that crack in her voice and the way she was talking she was concerned about her, she needed to be with her sister now the shapeshifter would have to wait.

“Alex open the window, incoming”

Alex got up to open the window although the effort took more than she would admit. 

“Hey Kara..” 

Alex was not the same person that she was when she left the DEO earlier at least then she had everything she wanted at home. In a short amount of time it was all thrown away. 

“Why am I always being tossed away like I’m just trash. I’m not a really good person and yet the one person who I want more in this world to see that. Doesn’t want anything to do with me. She just wants to raise our child together. How did she fall out of love with me so quickly? Am I really that big of a monster?” 

Kara was confused; she knew that Lena was in bits when Alex had walked away, sure Lena had told her to go but Lena didn't really expect her to but she did. The first couple of nights Kara had been with Alex then when Alex had Izzy she had been with Lena, she knew that Lena didn't want that something must have changed. Kara wrapped herself around Alex.

“You are not trash, you are not disposable in any way Alex. You are the kindest and bravest person I know and the best Mom, I thought that you went on a date the other night and that things had gone well? Is this scared Lena pushing you away? She did that alot in the beginning.”

Lena watched Alex leave the Kitchen and head upstairs, she had hoped that they could have both been more open but at least they didn't fight, that was a win she guessed. She took her glass of water up to her room, it was cold and empty, as much as she didnt want to admit it, it wasn't the same without Alex in there to hold her now, she had very quickly become accustomed to her being there again.

She slid into bed and laid there, it felt all wrong. Lena wasn't a quitter, why had she not fought for Alex, why hasn't she been able to say that she didn't want Alex with the new woman, that she wanted her for herself, that was the truth. Laying in the cold empty bed she couldn't help but feel she had just made the last in a very long list of mistakes. She had pushed her into the arms of someone else, when all she wanted was to be in those arms herself. Lena felt the panic rise and she started to cry. She had it all yesterday and now she had nothing, for a genius she could be so stupid some times, she was already regreting the whole conversation

Kara couldn't help but think that the way Lena was behaving was like she did whenever she was happy, to push to see if the person would stay, but as it did in the beginning that hurt Alex, and Kara hated to see her like this. She could hear the sobs coming from the other room, she was torn should she tell Alex or not?

“You will always be so important to those that love you, to Izzy, Me, Eliza, J’onn and Lena whatever is happening at the moment remember you are beautiful, amazing and irreplaceable.”

Alex couldn't help but huff out at that, she didn't feel that way, every time she felt that her and Lena were getting somewhere and they were mending things, Lena would push her away, she kept on disposing of her and kept on tossing her away like she was trash. She always fought for what she wanted but this was getting harder and harder to bounce back from, she knew the only thing that would make her whole again was being with Lena, but much more of this would destroy her.

“Kara, I keep fighting and I keep fighting I know what I want but maybe it isn't what Lena wants, she doesn't seem to be interested in continuing with me, every time we get back on track she throws me away and then I am left feeling like this, like I am fucking nothing. If she has given up on us I wish that she would just tell me and let me break in peace.”

Kara could hear the breaking in Alex, and the breaking in Lena. she was still torn but it was time to be honest with her sister after all there was not enough honesty going on here and everyone was hurting because of it.

“Look I don't know what happened tonight Alex but all I can say is that I know that you are both hurt, both breaking, both afraid and neither of you are happy in this moment, neither of you want to be apart and right now this lack of honesty between you is causing more hurt than anything else. She loved you, and you love her, you both love Izzy, I think that you need to have a little time to get over what happened and then you need to talk to her. Tomorrow is family day, make it good, make it happy Alex, make it honest.”


	15. confusion and clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> family day goes ahead evern though the night before plays on thier minds, things quickly become as they were and both revel in the domestic bliss. however when things turn confusing alex leaves, but this leads to clarity

It was family day, Sunday the day that Alex had been waiting for for a long time now to be honest. She wanted to spend time with Lena and her daughter. Something that used to be so normal. She needed to make both girls proud and try to win the heart of her wife back. Alex isn’t a quitter so she didn’t want to just give up her relationship with Lena if they could somehow fix it. 

With that Alex, even though she hated mornings the most was up and in the kitchen making the whole house smell very good. She had made some pancakes, eggs, sausage, bacon, and even some ham omelettes with peppers in them. It was going to be the best first family day in a long time. Now all she needed was for the other two ladies to come join her. 

Isabella walked into Lena’s room and crawled up into bed giving her a big kiss on the cheek. 

“Wakey wakey, breakfast done. I smelt it, mommy cooked something good.” 

Of course Isabella was always in a joyful mood. It’s how every child should be. The longing of her mothers to get back together. She could tell that they loved each other. 

Alex had all three plates made up and beside each plate was a zoo ticket. Alex had not thought about the price of the tickets for the first time all she thought about was it was something that everyone could enjoy together. She wanted both girls to be happy and have fun. 

Lena slid out of bed and snatched Isabella up in her arms kissing her and making her laugh before running down to the Kitchen with her in her arms. Both of them were laughing as they rounded the corner.

“A little bird told me that someone made breakfast, she was so excited that there was something good down here we had to come and see what you had been up to”

Lena lowered Isabella to the floor and pulled out her chair, pushing her into the table and heading over to Alex. Trailing her hand from her shoulder over across the back over her neck and she bent down.

“This looks amazing, you are up early, please tell me there is coffee.”

It had taken a little bit for them to get to the zoo. Maybe about an hour or so, it was all worth it because they left right after breakfast and Isabella seemed to be really excited about it, never once stopping with talking about what animals she wanted to see and how she hoped to see the lions and tigers. Making rawr sounds with which Alex would make them back. This is also another time that Alex made it acceptable for Frank to drive them. She even got Frank a ticket so he could go in and see the animals without having to pay his own way. 

Alex had a heart of gold when she wanted to. That’s the thing that she didn’t truly understand why no one else saw it. Or rather why Lena hasn’t been seeing it. 

Lena watched as Alex handed Frank a ticket her heart swelled, she was just so adorable and caring, Lena would always ensure that Frank had something to do or, had time off when he was working all day for them but she had never thought about giving him a ticket to the zoo. Alex really was one of a kind. Lena and Isabella walked over to Alex, Lena kissed her cheek.

“That was nice of you Alex, I am sure Frank will have fun looking around, now our daughter is already pulling my arm out of the socket, so Let's go, Lions and tigers and bears oh my”

Alex couldn’t help the soft smile that came across her lips because she did enjoy this part of the relationship between the two of them. It was like nothing in this world mattered except for them and Izzy. Izzy was doing so much and she loved seeing the animals. 

“Thanks, I try to be nice when I can.” 

Alex couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her lips. 

“Lions and tigers and bears! ROAR!” Alex let out as she ticked Lena’s side before realizing that Izzy was trying to get Lena’s attention. 

Lena was being pulled along by Izzy already excited about seeing the tigers, Lena reached out and took Alex’s hand threading their fingers together, their hand finding that comfortable place that warmed Lena’s heart, they still fit together perfectly. Lena loved this, the closeness and the carefree caress.

“Lunch after Africa, and if you listen maybe some cotton candy”

“Oh cotton candy! That sounds yummy!” Alex couldn’t help but to chide in afterall people said that Lena had her hands cut out for her. That Alex was afterall just a big kid. 

Alex picked up Izzy and placed her on her shoulders before she started bouncing away. 

“You can’t catch us, Miss. Bear. We are the tallest animal alive what are we?” 

Isabella laughed before covering her lips. “A giraffe momma!” 

Alex shakes her head. “You aren’t suppose to help the bear!” 

Isabella chuckled softly before shrugging her shoulders. “She part of our world too!” 

Alex put down Isabella. “Bet you can’t win getting to the elephants! On your mark get set and go!” 

Isabella and Alex both took off running towards the elephants. Once they got there they waited holding onto the fence for Lena. Alex looking over her shoulders to keep an eye on Lena. 

Lena had a soft smile on her face, Izzy and Alex always had this easy way of being together and she loved to watch them play even if she wasn't quite as good at keeping up, Alex including her and making her feel part of everything they were doing warmed her heart. Alex saw the soft smile and her heart jumped it was one of her favorites it was when Lena’s guard was down and she was experiencing love and Alex was glad that it was directed at her.

After the lions, and the elephants, the tigers, Jaguars and hyenas, they moved to the next set and were confronted by the wilderbeast, hippos,and rhinos, they finally made it to the Meerkats, and baboons. The last stop on the african adventure was the giraffes, they would be able to feed them and then get lunch, 

“Ok, they are full Izzy Pop, time for lunch, lets see who get the last bite on mommys hotdog”

Lena said with a small smirk, she never managed to complete them at the zoo, she didn't know where they got them from but they were so big that even Kara would only have three.

“Oh I'll get the last of your hotdog.” Alex winked playfully at Lena. It was all the little things in life. 

Lunch was perfect, they all sat together and ate, Alex instinctively handing lena everything she needed before she even realised she wanted it, and Lena handing the juice when Alex took a bite without letting it cool, Lena laughed lightly she assumed it was from growing up with Kara that Alex always dove right into her food, even though it was too hot, the amount of times she had burned her mouth. Alex had blushed lightly as she took the offered drink and took a large gulp to put out the fire in her mouth.

“Thanks Lena”

Alex smiled softly at the gesture she was starting to notice that they were getting more and more in sync, she tried to quieten her racing heart, she didn't want to get ahead of herself after all, everytime she had felt that they had been getting back to where they should be, where she wanted them to be, something would happen that had her broken and alone, she wasn't sure what kept happening it was like there was someone watching for the most precious moments and then twisting a knife. She decided to take a small chance and vocalise the thoughts and feelings in her mind. Without putting too much pressure on Lena, by making it about them all together.

“Moments like this, this is what I want to get back Lena, moments where we are a family, enjoying time together and it just being, easy”

Lena’s heart jumped and she smiled at the comment, it wasn't that Alex wanted her, she could hear the distinction in Alex’s words, but it still made her heart jump, the thought that she could still have her family even if she couldn't have the love of her life.

“Momma, mommy, can we see the tigers now? Pleeeeeese”

Lena smiled and picked her up swinging her around, feeling some of the care free attitude that Alex expressed. She snuggled her and kissed her all over her face. Izzy giggled and wriggled in her arms and pushed away.

“No kissy kissy momma, tigers, grrrrrrr.”

Alex watched as Lena played with Izzy she forgot that sometimes, when Lena let her guard down like this she could be just as big a kid as she was with their daughter, she held back to let Lena lead the way. She watched as they ran off Lena chasing and tickling her peppering her with more kisses. Alex wished that she was on the receiving end for a moment before squashing that desire, this was about them all being together for Izzy.

The zoo had tired them all out, they cooked, and ate, then bathed their daughter, Alex and Lena falling into perfect sync, it was the way it had been all day, perfect in every way, they had both snuggled into bed with Izzy and read, Lena and Alex cuddling each other as much as their perfect little girl. When she was sleeping, they moved out of the bed and down stairs. Lena handed Alex a drink and smiled, as she flopped down on the couch next to her.

“Hot chocolate, with marshmellows, just how you like it baby”

Alex couldn’t help but to grin widely at the fact that Lena remembered these things it was the smallest of things sure it was. It just showed her that it didn’t matter what was going on with them that she would always be there. Always know her Alex. That’s why she never signed those damn papers. However, telling Lena that would not be a good idea. Instead she would just pretend for now. This would surely all come back to bite her in the ass one day. She didn’t seem to mind though. Who could blame her on not wanting to give up on love? Not when she found it so easily. Snapping out of her thoughts she looked at Lena. 

“Oh you know that’s my favorite way. Thank you so much.” 

Alex reached over to take the mug making sure that her hands touched Lena’s fingers. It was a gentle touch but one that would make them both share that eye contact that they needed and wanted. Even if they were both too stubborn to admit it. 

Before Alex could think of her next move she took a sip of her hot chocolate and sat it down on the counter. Alex licked her lips because all day the thing that she couldn’t get out of her mind was the way that she missed kissing them. The thought of just being one with Lena again. They needed today in more ways than one. Her mind strayed to the earlier thought of wishing that it was Alex she was playfully kissing instead of Izzy, not that she begrudged her daughter the affection, but she wanted to feel that love, she was like a woman in the desert, and Lena’s kissing would keep her alive. She was thirsty and only Lena could satisfy it. 

They both needed it, they needed to remember all the time they spent together, the love, the tenderness the moments they shared, to bring them as one again. Leaning over she let her shoulder bump up against Lena’s shoulder and her head turned before she whispered, 

“You have something right..here.” 

In that moment Alex let her lips touch Lena’s lips softly as her hand came up to cup her left cheek. The butterflies in her stomach was something that she knew would never go away. She would feel them every time she kissed Lena. This was what she needed and craved for since the whole entire thing of them splitting up.

Lena was initially shocked at the kiss, the day had been so perfect their little one was asleep and they were laughing and joking as always. It had started tentatively but soon developed into a passionate kiss. They were familiar and longed for lips pressing against hers and the rush of adrenaline caused her heart to squeeze in the way only Alex could do and soon there was the burning intensity. Threading her hand through Alex's hair she started to pull her in closer.

The kiss was familiar, yet new, it was exciting and commanding, Alex pouring love into every tiny movement of her lips, the soft stoked of her tongue in lenas mouth. Lena gripped the hair and the nape of her neck and felt Alex's hand softly move to her waist, her thumb moving under her shirt just above her hip softly stroking the skin. It was something that always drove Lena crazy, it was the easiest way for Alex to tell her that she wanted to move forward with the activities and then she froze. She was getting carried away, the kiss was everything, it was all she had wanted, she craved and it would be so easy to just go with her feelings, allow her body to respond to the way Alex touched her, but Alex was with someone else.

Pulling back Lena put her hand on Alex’s shoulder and held her back, it took everything Lena had to pull away from the kiss. Alex kissed her in a way that sent chills over her whole body and brought her to life, she had missed it, craved it, wanted it so badly that to force herself to stop now was killing her. She looked down and bit her lip, she couldn't Look at Alex. She had the other woman Lena’s mind kept pulling up the passionate nature of the intimate kiss, she really liked the girl.

“I don't think that this is a good idea, Alex, we need to build a new life here. We have just come back to spending time with each other, taking care of our daughter, we need to be ok, we need to be able to talk, Alex, I don't want to hold you back. You are an amazing woman and deserve love and happiness.”

Alex was so into kissing Lena, thinking that maybe Lena wanted her after all. The feelings of needing each other and being so in love with each other was in that kiss. Yet, here they were with Lena pushing her away. Pushing Alex off and away from her. Giving her some stupid speech about it not being a good idea. How could she say that? Did she not feel the same way? 

“Of course whatever you say Lena. Just push me away. I hope that someday you realize no one will love you like me.” 

With that Alex walked upstairs to her room to get dressed to go into the DEO. She could at least do something there that was productive, maybe punch something, she sighed running away wasn't going to help but neither it seemed was pouring her heart out. She shook her head maybe words needed to be more actions less, but Lena never believed simple words needed proof, making her safe that would be proof. Once she came down the steps she looked at Lena. 

“I’m going into work to see if I can’t figure out what is going on there. I’ll be home in time for breakfast.” 

With that Alex left going to her car to get in. She was stressed out and extremely hurt. 

Lena was about to open her mouth to plead for Alex to stay to talk to her, she wanted to tell her that she had seen her with the woman and that as much as she wanted her she couldn't be second place to anyone but Izzy, but the look on her face had Lena close her mouth and nod sadly, holding back her tears until Alex had left.

Brainy was sitting in control. He was looking through the information that had been sent over by Director Danvers monitoring the city and organising the evening schedule. He was relaxed and quite happy until the elevator opened and he saw Alex step out.

“Director Danvers, you are not scheduled to be here tonight and I haven't seen any alerts from the city, and there are no issues here everything is running smoother than a caldorians hibiscus sack.”

When Alex came into the DEO she was not a happy camper which could end badly for those on schedule tonight. She was going to be worse than she normally was. Any excuse to hit something, fight anything, something to help her numb the emotional pain, even if it resulted in getting hurt.

“I decided to come in since I’m the boss I can just stop in when I want to. Why haven’t you tracked the shape shifter yet? What has been going on tonight? Who is all on patrol?” 

Brainy shifted in the chair uncomfortably and looked at Alex. He had searched all the government cameras and put in requests to shops and banks in the area but so far he had no further video footage to check, there was a small fraction of video that was missing the shapeshifter seemed to disappear completely.

“Well director I can tell you with 98.45% accuracy that after he steps out of range of camera 245 he must shift into another person as he does not reappear on any of the adjoining Cameras, he enters this blind spot and then doesn't come out, I have requests to all the ATM’s the shops the bank and the museum camera teams to try and catch him but none have come in yet.”

Alex was beyond fuming. This was her family’s life that was in danger here and yet no one seemed to be getting that. She was getting angier each and every day that they were not caught. 

“Why the hell are you waiting? Just get in there and find that damn shape shifter because without him we will not know where Lillian is. Now if you don’t mind I’m going to go beat some baby agents. To show them they have to get better.” 

Brainy shrunk back he had seen Alex hit Winn on occasion and didn't want to be on the receiving end of her bad mood, he looked at her and spoke.

“I can but that would be illegal and I um, I ………”

Brainy could see the vein on Alex’s head and realised that he needed to just do it and beg forgiveness if he was to get caught, not that he thinks that he would but morally this wasn't right, right? His internal thought process came to an end as he saw Alex leaning forward.

“.....I am on it Director I will access all the remaining Cameras in the area and find who he turns into where he goes and what he is up to, I will get right on that, um the trainees have only been with us a week director do you think that you should……… yes ok understood”

Alex raised her eyebrow at Brainy because he was being so useless, he could have hacked every camera in the city by now and left no trace of what he was using his 12level intellect for. Then his comment on the trainees this was her job, she was supposed to train them, was he suggesting she was not fit to do her job, she was mad and needed to burn off this energy, was it right probably not. She hated all this shit to be honest, everything was piling in on her and she couldn't do anything. At least this energy would prepare the recruits. The very thought of it all, her life spiraling away from her and being so impotent. 

“Good. They need to know what their challenge is at some point.” 

Alex turned and walked out trusting that finally Brainy would do something a little useful but she wasn’t holding her breath. She let herself go into the training room and announce who she was at first. She just watched them figuring out which one was the strongest because that’s what she would need to get some of this anger out. 

Lena watched her leave, she was hurt, she saw it in her eyes, did this kiss mean more than she had thought, was it not just a reflex, had she read everything wrong? She was messing it up again two days in a row, she had been responsible for that hurt look and Alex leaving. Why couldn't she risk it all, she knew what it would take to get Alex back, she would need to be honest bare it all and tell her the truth. The truth was she was madly in love with the badass Danvers sister with caramel eyes and a protective streak a mile wide, her silly jokes and her crazy energy, the one that played with their daughter and was so soft in moments when they were alone. All she wanted was to have her back all in, back to how they were before, or better.

Lena’s heart was breaking, she hated seeing Alex broken, and hurt, and worse than that she hated being the cause of it. Lena wanted nothing more than to go to her and grab her, kiss her and tell her how sorry she was how wrong that she had been and that whoever the other woman was Lena would fight for their family with every last breath, there was no line she wouldn't cross for Alex and that she wasn't giving up. Lena however knew that wasn't going to sort it out now, she knew Alex well enough to know that when hurt she shuts down, Lena figured that she would be at the DEO terrorising some new recruits and training them till they dropped. She lay awake in her bed for hours waiting for her to come back, so they could talk but she fell asleep before she did.

Kara had been in close contact with Brainy, he had followed the shapeshifter from Lillian using the camera’s in the city and saw that he turned into Alex and there was another woman with her. He had told Kara what he saw and she told him that he needed to tell Alex as soon as he could. Brainy informed her that Alex was at the DEO and that she was not in the mood to hear anything right now. Kara sighed she guessed there was something more happening here and that Alex would not have been there unless there was a problem.

Kara listened and took off in the direction Brainy gave her and spotted the alien of the hour coming out of the bar, so much for the people there informing her if he came in. She didn't want to waste time with any conversation she didn't need to fight, she just needed him to be in custody so that she could help Alex and Lena then maybe just maybe they could sort everything out. She flew down and snatched him right off the street flying high into the air.

“You have some explaining to do and it is my understanding that you can't fly and don't bounce so I suggest you don't struggle”

The shapeshifter was annoyed wanting to be left go. Kicking and screaming. Kara would never harm anyone willingly but this guy had mess with Alex, she was Kara’s home she had made this planet bearable, she had made her welcome and looked after her, she was angry that this person was working so hard to derail the small measure of happiness that Alex afforded herself between protecting the city, her, the world, alex was her hero so she gripped tighter, probably leaving bruises. 

“That bitch will kill my family and me if I don’t do what she says.” 

Kara ignored everything that he said and just held him as she flew straight into the DEO through the balcony sliding the shapeshifter along the floor to Alex’s feet. She was holding some baby agent in a choke hold and he was fading fast. Kara’s eyes widened something else had happened, she could sense it in the look on Alex’s face.

“I don't know what happened today but this is the reason for the issue yesterday, he posed as you and was smooching with some woman, this is Lillian's stooge, he is the one you have been looking for”

Alex’s eyes widened when she listened to Kara. This mother fucker is the reason that Lena doesn’t love her anymore. She let the other recruit go before reaching out and punching, slamming her fist right to the face of the man that was slid towards her. She was kneeling low next to his now bleeding face and whispered. 

“The thing is you messed with the wrong Danvers sisters relationship, not that I would suggest you mess with my sister, she won't hurt you like I will but she isn't someone to piss off either.” 

With that Alex stood and took her boot right down onto his chest leaving him winded. This was the reason that her family kept getting so close to being together again and then in the blink of an eye her heart was ripped out and shattering before her eyes again. The image of Lena’s face as she pushed out of the kiss earlier playing in her mind. She knew that she could not continue talking to him; she may kill him in her current mood.

“Lock him the fuck up. He’s not getting out anytime soon. He might want to start talking.”

Alex knew she needed a few moments to think to calm before she tackled him, she needed to get rid of her aggression and pulled Kara into the training room.

“Alex I am not going to fight you, there are no dampeners I will not hurt you I love you” 

Alex started punching and kicking Kara, throwing more and more moves at her, Kara blocking some but allowing the rest to connect, they wouldn't hurt her only Alex, she didn't fight back, Alex needed to wear herself out she knew this, but she wasn't going to do anything that would hurt her. Alex’s attack became more and more frenzied, loosing her control and form as Kara’s lack of fighting back was frustrating her more and more.

“Fight back god, damn it Kara fight back”

Kara wrapped her arms around Alex and held her, stopping her wild and uncontrolled movements and pulling her to the floor where Alex finally began to cry. She had not wanted to, she wanted to be strong, she had cried enough because of that woman and she didn't want to give Lillian any more of her tears. She sobbed in Karas arms for a long while before she finally stopped and melted into the hug from Kara.

“We were kissing and she pushed me away, she rejected me because of her Kara, how am I supposed to fight for Lena, when I am fighting against her past and her mother and god knows how many of her minions.”

Kara held her and rubbed circles into her back, the sun slowly coming up, Alex needed to sleep to rest and above all else go and talk to Lena, to explain to be honest. She was convinced that this was not going to happen.

“Alex you should go home, rest, talk to Lena, we can get information out of him and let you know what's going on, take care of your family, Let us help for once please.”

The pleas fell on deaf ears as Alex moved back shaking her head she would eat, have coffee and then get to him herself. A few more attempts were made but Alex was set, she gave in but decided to stick around in case Alex needed her.


	16. say it with flowers - rainbow rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara intervenes knowing that both of the women are holding back and wanting to give them a push, she confrunts Lena and trys to make alex see sence.

Lena woke up, not only had Alex left but she had not come home, she needed to go into LCorp and Alex was supposed to be with Izzy, she wasn't sure what was the best thing to do, wherever Alex was she was not available even the calls were not going through, she couldn't remember a time that Alex had not picked up the phone, she clearly messed everything up again. She had only pushed Alex away because she was seeing someone else, Lena was used to being Alex’s only and she was not going to share her, this made her realise that she had to have all of Alex. She decided that it was best to take Izzy to work she could play in the creche and Lena could work for a while.

Dialing Alex’s phone once more she left a voicemail for Alex.

“Hello Alex, we need to talk about last night, and what happened, I don't know where you are, I have scanned the news but can't see any incidents so I hope that means that you are fine, I am starting to worry, please call me back, I have taken Isabella to work with me, she is safe don’t worry, Please call me”

Alex was glaring at the shapeshifter, she was not happy with his lack of talking, she knew that he knew something more, she knew it, he already illuded to there being more that one plan and she wanted to know what the other part was, there was no time to be messing about she brought her face close to his the look on her face murderous.

“If you think that because i am in this uniform you are safe your wrong, this is my family that bitch is messing with and i will do anything to keep them safe you have no fucking idea who your messing with, now spill it before i make you spill somthing else.”

Kara comes down to the Interrogation room and knocks on the door then enters. She was really concerned she hasn't answered the phone as Lena was still not speaking to her and she was starting to think that was a mistake, there had been six, and then a voice message, she wouldn't normally interrupt Alex but with the conversation the other day with her sister she thought that Lena and Izzy would be the only reason that Alex would permit at this time.

“Director Danvers, I am sorry to interrupt, but there is an urgent matter that needs your attention.”

Alex glared at her sister, she was not playing around and Kara would insist on the alien being in one piece when he was taken to the cells, Alex couldn't be sure that he would be at this point.

“This is not the time Supergirl, short of a world ending crisis this, well it is my only priority”

Kara knew that her sister was not happy, she was boardering on mad, Kara had not seen her like this with the exception of the misunderstanding in the park for a long time. She took a deep breath and stepped forward.

“I am aware of how important this is Director, but you have six missed calls, from your top priority number, I have taken a peak at the vitals and they are elevated, there is no incident but there is something wrong” 

Kara knew if Alex knew Lena was calling and was distressed she would take what she was saying more seriously. She offered a small smile and tried to relax her face not wanting the crinkle to give away just how worried she was.

Are you kidding me, you know that there are six calls, that there is elevation, that there is something wrong and you are here? Seriously go to check, no incident means i am not needed and this needs my full attention, put whatever you need to on pause, forget the petty little disagreement, swallow that hurt expression and go, Now”

Lena had made it to LCorp after popping to the coffee shop and getting Isabella a muffin and some apple juice, and herself a black coffee. Izabella had said no nanny’s she didn't really have them. It was a eliet babysitting service that Lena used in case of emergencies, but after the progress she had been making she didn't want to go back on her word. Isabella also loved the creche the woman that runs it was so good with her and didn't mind her being a little bit of a handful, that was the thing about her, everyone loved her, she was so happy and bubbly and that was coming back now too.

“Ok Izzy pop, you can go play here for a while and then either you and I will have lunch or all three of us will ok, mommy is a little busy this morning but she will be back later”

Lena really didn't know if that was the truth but she wanted it to be, and she didn't want to worry Isabella.

Isabella wasn't sure what was happening, yesterday things were as she wanted today her momma and mommy were not here, not together and she looked sad. She wondered what she did, did she upset them somehow. She listened to her momma and wanted to believe that this was right mommy was just busy.

Lena was frantic she had made so many mistakes over the past few months, the worst was pushing through the divorce, she wanted to tell Alex she was still in love with her but it had not come out what was wrong with her. She wanted to tell her that she wanted to be a family that she wanted to be married to her beautiful protective redhead. Instead she had thrown away what she wanted most in the world and she had to get her back, they had been so close since the lake, they had dated, spent time together with Isabella. She had said “one of the things I love about you” when her fierce redhead had saved her, stopped here throwing everything away, but she couldn’t tell her that she was still in love with her and wanted to still be her wife.

Lena paced in the office it was not happening, she was not losing Alex and Isabella over her inability to vocalise. Oh that was it wasn’t it, she was terrified that she would say it and Alex not be in that place any more. Looking around her office was practically filled with apology flowers, Kara had faltered for a moment and had been trying so hard to get her to talk to her. To Lena's surprise there was a shy knock at the door, and Kara popped her head through with a new bunch of flowers.

“Um Lena, I know that you don't want to see me and that um, I hurt you, I didn't mean to I was scared, and well I would have given you more time but well Alex, she is at the DEO, she is a little strung out, I haven't seen her like this before, she was interrogating someone and when I told her you were calling and that your heart was up, she screamed at me and insisted I come here, I um, I know you don't want that but I can't cope with my best friend and my sister being mad at me. You're both in pain and I can't seem to help.”

Lena looked at Kara, she was that shy little reporter again, easing her way into the office, she had lost all her confidence in dealing with Lena, and it made lena sad, she was not mad anymore, the drugs had worn off and she realised that it was all set up by her mother, it stung that Kara had believed it so easily but then she knew that she would have had to be convincing to have her mother swallow that. Lena knew that she should just forgive her already, it was the last thing that Izzy wanted her aunty Kar kar back at the house.

“She has never not responded before, even if she was at work, I called on the priority number, that normally is the one that is always answered no matter what she even has it patched into her com in the field”

Kara looked at her things were so messed up, she needed them to work through this, all this misdirection, hurting each other, the way that Alex had been sobbing and breaking, the tears she could hear from Lena, they loved each other, they were perfect for each other and Lillian had been allowed to do this, to break them apart and hurt each other. Kara never had a chance for love like this, and they were throwing it away. Kara didn't know what changed but she was suddenly frustrated, mad, sad and then she couldn't contain it.

“Lena for a genius your so unbelievably stupid sometimes, and Alex well she is no better right now, she is ignoring your need to make you safe, to get that shapeshifter that posed as her, to make you mad, for your damn mother, to tell her what the second part to the plan is. She is in a mood so dark I fear for the man's life. You, you with all your fancy words and education couldn't do the simple thing and just tell her you saw her, kissing someone, you didn't believe in her enough to know that she is still in love with you, so much she is about to throw everything away just to keep you safe. I have made mistakes, acted out of fear and you pulled away, but I am still trying, you have hurt my sister and she is still doing everything she can to make you safe, even though she thinks you have someone else, she isn't giving up on you Lena why are you giving up on her?”

Musch like the time she lost it on Cat, Kara’s eyes went wild and she clasped her hands over her mouth. Looking wide eyed at Lena.

Lena was shocked by the onslaught from Kara, she was doing what Kara always did, rambling nervously in a protective way, she was trying to help them and be direct and ask for forgiveness and it was all rolled into a rambling mess. Lena pinched the bridge of her nose and massaged the area. Trying to sort all the information into something usable. Lillian had hired someone to make it look like Alex was with someone else, she had other things planned, Alex thought it was Lena that wanted someone else and was hurt, Kara had found the shapeshifter and Alex had been interrogating him all night to find out what she was up to. It was a lot and Lena wasn't sure what to respond to first, but her heart took over and she responded to Alex’s hurt first.

I have not forgiven you yet Kara, but I appreciate you telling me that Alex is ok, and what is going on. I don't appreciate you telling me what I should do in my relationship, I know that you are in the middle and that is difficult but I need Alex to come to me not you and I need to do the same. Now having said that I will forgive you, but you have to do one thing for me, find a reason to fly Alex over the top of LCorp at noon”.

Kara smiled and bounced a little, she had just shouted at Lena and although she was annoyed she was going to forgive her she was going to let her help, she was going to talk to Alex, she wanted to hug her but that wouldn't be permitted not yet a massive smile came across her face and she beamed at Lena. 

“I - I yes, I will get her here even if I have to kidnap her from the DEO, um Lena, maybe, can I, would it be ok to see Izzy?”

Lena thought about it for a moment, she had agreed and she would be able to help with her idea, it had hit her like a lightning bolt, and Kara and her flowers had given her the idea, today's offering were rainbow roses, and it reminded Lena of something, something so special to her that she knew just what she had to do. Isabella was missing Kara and she would love the visit, she had been wanting to see aunty Kar Kar.

“Yes Kara, she is in the creche, go down and see her, as Kara, we don't need panic or over excited children, and you have a job to do”

Kara moved forward a touch, but Lena folded her arms. She was not there yet, she was still hurt enough to not want that hug, after all she would melt and possibly turn into a mess she had missed her friend. Kara saw the reaction and said her goodbyes, leaving to go and see Izzy. Watching Kara Leave, Lena looked around the office, there were a lot of flowers but she would need more, many many more. Opening the office door she looked at Jess.

“Jess, I need your help grab up all these flowers with me and order more I need a lot more” 

Jess looked somewhat confused but did as she was told and set up deliveries from every florist in National city. There was a constant stream of flowers being delivered so much so security had cordoned off an elevator and there was a member of the team going back and for the roof. Once it was done Jess couldn’t help but smirk at Lena stood in the middle of the helicopter pad surrounded by thousands of flowers.

Alex had moved from her threats and her intimidation, and was sitting looking at him, her eyes unwavering and focused so pointedly that she was not even blinking. Sitting there across from this human was a lot more intimidating than he wanted to admit, but as scary as she was he was definitely more scared of Lillian Luthor she was a psychopath, he was sure of it. He didnt care what happened to him, but if he opened his mouth Lillian would follow through and he would lose everything, he would be separated from his family forever in a cell at the DEO, because they would be alive, a status that would not be true if he talked.

“Look director, I have told you everything that I am going to, this was what I was told I could tell you if caught, I will tell you more. She wants you to know she destroyed you and your relationship, that she is in control, as for any other plans you will have to work that out and catch her for yourself”

Alex is getting frustrated, she wished that J’onn was here and that she could just get him to scan his mind to know what it was that Lillian was up to, maybe the truth seeker was here still, she couldn't remember if she had it shipped back to DC, her brain foggy from lack of sleep she was feeling the pressure building in her head and looked at him.

“I would have gone easy one you, helped even, if you helped me, but right now I think that i am going to get some coffee, and then I think I will bring the truth seeker in, you could have had help, now I will push for the harshest punishment and let you rott”

Kara arrived at the DEO at eleven thirty, she had thirty minutes to convince Alex to go flying with her, she had to get her above LCorp for Lena’s big reveal for Noon, she had taken a peak as she flew overhead and was so excited, Lena was going all out, she wasn't finished but Alex would be so touched. She was such a badass but had the most unbelievably romantic side. Marry me, was already there, Kara knew the next word would be Alex, it was so cute, she sighed she knew that if the world could see the real Lena and Alex everyone would fall in love with them, but they needed that hard face facade to make it in their positions.

“Hey Alex, you have been here for fourteen hours straight, you need to have a rest, maybe just some lunch? Lena suggested lunch with Izzy, I think she is going to forgive me isn't that great”

“Kara I don't care if I have been here for fourteen or forty eight hours this is about my family's safety and he is going to talk. Brainy have you found anything on those fucking scans yet? Is the truth seeker still here?”

Brainy snapped his head around, Alex had been unbearable since she arrived, he was running so many scans and options that even he was running out of capacity. After all, he couldn't see the future, and information on this time was sketchy at best and more concerned with disasters and serious issues, not the lives of the director of the DEO and her relationship with the CEO of LCorp. Although he had some information on them it wasn't the kind of information that Alex was looking for right now.

“Director Danvers, um, no, it was returned to DC, there isn't really anything um new to report……”

Seeing Alex’s face he went over the previous report.

“......there has, um there is only two sightings of Lillian Luthor, across all traffic Cams, CCTV, satellite, Private and public surveillance systems, the one with the shapeshifter before the incident of the kissing, and the one where she witnessed you and Mrs Luthor-Danvers at the restaurant. We lost her car when it went into an underground garage and never came out…….”

This still wasn't enough for her so Brainy took a deep breath and continued, he could see none of this was helping. 

“.......Her phone had only signalled twice once with the photo of you drinking, and the other was to contact Lena the same day, it appears that she is able to hide all her cellular activity, well unless she wants to show it, Lillian is only actively seen when she wants to be, I have no idea what she is planning but she needs you and Lena seperate for it. There is a 83.62% chance that she is trying to get you separately so that she can access Isabella or Lena, I can't predict it with any accuracy I can't see the future”

Alex saw red, this was ridiculous, he was supposed to be intelligent, he was from the bloody future, all she needed was the location of that infernal woman.

“You are from the future, you knew you were coming back here, you must have checked, you look at the complete history of a location back to medieval times before we go anywhere that takes you less that a second, and you're telling me that you can't even track one woman?”

Kara sees an option here; she looks at Alex and speaks a little louder and firmer. She looks at her watch she has five minutes to get Alex over LCorp, she doesn't want to ruin it, she wants to be forgiven the turmoil that she has felt since Lena sent her away was killing her, and she not only wanted her friend back but wanted Alex, Lena and Izzy to be happy.

“Alex, Brainy can only compute theories based on evidence and previous actions he needs more information and right now we can't find Lillian, until we can he is at best guessing, how about I fly you to Nia, maybe she can try and get s vision of Lillian”

Alex looked at Kara, Nia was a good option but she was not leaving until her family was safe, this was all she had left to give Lena, and she was not going to be stopped.

“Nia, Yes, great go get her and bring her here, that would be best then whatever she sees she can tell Brainy maybe he can do something useful with a little more information”

Lena had been arranging the flowers with Jess for the past two hour, she saw Kara flying over her head and heading to the DEO about eleven and it was now nearly twelve. Jess was still arranging some flowers and straightening them out, she was putting as much effort into this as Lena, that was the thing about Jess, it didn't matter what she was asked to do she always gave it one hundred and fifty percent, that's why Lena knew that she would be able to take over her responsibilities if she made her decision final. Not only that she had come to realise that Jess really cared about her and her well being. 

“Well Mrs Luthor-Danvers, I have to say this is amazing and so romantic, Alex will love it, she really will, I am so happy that this is all working out I was worried there for a moment or two. However you are such a great couple, I mean you would have to be a fool to miss the love in Alex’s eyes when she looks at you and the ones from you, well when you think no one's watching.”

Looking up Lena couldn't help but smile at Jess, she was the only person outside the family who got any kind of glimpse of the real her, although this was a little forward for her, she wondered when Jess realised that Lena thought of her as a friend over an assistant, and that she could be a little more open with her.

“If your going to be making comments like that Jess then you should Probably call me Lena”

Jess was happy, not just because she wasnt getting shouted at for talking out of turn but it had also earned her the right to call her boss Lena, very few had the privilege, it was a risk but how she had wanted to tell Lena that she was being an idiot when it comes to Alex.

“Remember you can't control everything, especially Alex, even though you may want to, I am glad you are taking the lead, it is about time, I mean, for a genius its taken for ever for you to see that Alex has been dating you and trying to get you back for weeks, Lena you have nothing to be afraid of she loves you, I can see that.”

Lena glared, she wasn't wrong but she wasn't expecting her to be so honest so quick. Jess smirked at Lena, the look was like finally I got to say it, like it had been eating at her for months, she didn't wait for Lena’s rebuttal she just took her leave her, Kara would be flying Alex over head any moment, Alex had proposed the first time she needed this to be perfect. The flowers spelling the words Marry me, Alex. She just hoped that Kara would do as she asked if she wanted forgiveness she would find a way, she may not have been able to say it out loud, but as Alex proposed with a ring in a rainbow rose in the beginning, she could say it with Flowers! Picking up one of today's rainbow roses Lena knelt down amongst the flowers and looked up hoping to see Kara and Alex would be flying above to see this.

Kara was getting nowhere, Alex was just not in the mood to be dissuaded; she was so focused on fixing the problem that she was going to miss Lena’s grand gesture. She decided to take matters into her own hands and just grabbed Alex and flew out of the DEO, high above the city.

“What the hell Kara, put me down and take me back now, I had him, he was talking and now he will regain his composure, take me back now”

Alex was so frustrated and tired, even if she could fight her way out of this it wouldn't be possible right now, she needed Kara to take her back willingly and there was no way that she was changing course, she was if anything flying faster away from here Alex wanted her to go.

Kara held her tightly and continued on past Catco and towards LCorp, she could already see the flowers and Lena kneeling on the ground. She can't help but smile as she is looking off in the distance.

“Just look Alex, Look down and stop being so damn Stubborn”

Alex didn't want to look down, she didn't want to be wherever it was that she was taken but she couldn't help it with the position. As she saw the flowers covering the roof of LCorp, the question being asked to marry Lena, Lena kneeling on the ground in that amazing black dress. Her heart rate jumped to what felt like a million beats per minute and she couldn't help the smile that spread across her face.

“Oh my god, Kara, take me down, now, take me home, take me to her, she still loves me, the feelings that i have been having that she was still there, still with me, they were right, Lillian hasn't won, Lena still loved me, take me down.”

Kara heard the racing hearts of both Lena and Alex, and she smiled, finally these two were going to be back on the same page she descended towards the roof, careful not to disturb the flowers.

Lena could see them were a little way off and Alex was struggling with Kara, what was happening, did she not want to come and see her, had Alex decided that she didn't want to come see Lena, was it all too little too late. She looked down at the rose in her hand and dipped her head, if she was going to find out that it was all over forever she didn't want to break, she needed to put on her CEO mask, to be strong to be a Luthor. She heard the soft thud and then the footsteps coming towards her.

Once Kara set her down she could see the amount of flowers placed on the roof it looked like Lena had brought out the entire city, she had carefully placed them all around and although the words could only be seen from the air the effort was evident. Her breath hitched in her throat as she saw the rainbow rose in Lena’s hand, it was the same as the one Alex had used to propose. Lena was looking down, she was nervous Alex remembered the feeling well, she had been so nervous when asking Lena, she rushed over and slid to her knees in front of her raven beauty and reached out to tilt her face up to Alex’s. As the Emerald orbs locked with her own she could see the vulnerability and the fear in them, she smiled at her softly and cupped her face with her hands.

“Baby we are already married, I am more than happy to renew our vows if you want to, but I am already your wife”

Lena looked up and saw Alex’s face. She was so beautiful and she was there, it was everything that she needed and wanted right at that moment. Confusion flashed over her face as Alex spoke.

“I gave you the papers you just had to sign them, and it was all over, the house the trust the divorce I pushed it all through for you so you could be free from me”

Alex listened as a bright smile erupted over her face, she thought that Alex had signed the papers, cared about the information in the papers that she gave her, other than tell Alex that there was something very wrong they held no value for her, not a single thing in them was what she wanted, all she wanted was in her hands right now, Lena, her love, the mother of her baby girl, their family.

“Do you think that I signed them? Not a chance, I am a Danver’s I don't give up until the very end and I wasn't letting that be your end Lena, it told me there was something wrong and i didnt think twice but to come after you, to save the woman I love more than anything in this world from herself. I have been trying to date you, to remind you of how good we are together, hoping that…… that we could get back what was lost, that was broken by others, by my stubbornness, all i want is you and Izzy, full time, like before”

Lena started to cry and held tightly to Alex, she was overcome with emotion. Alex still wanted to be with her, she had not lost her, had not pushed her away, it was all just misunderstandings and poor choices, she wouldn't let that stop her now.

“Alex, I love you, I am in love with you, I always have been I never want to be without you, I want us all to be a family again, there is no line I wouldn't cross nothing that I wouldn't do, I love you Alex, always”

With that Lena pressed her lips against Alex and kissed her deeply, pulling her closer as she held onto the woman she loved, never again to let her get away. Alex felt the change there would be no rejection from this kiss, she poured her heart and soul into it holding nothing back from them. Finally both of them broken and defeated, were connected two broken halves becoming whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the end of this fic, my partner and I may be able to do a sequal in future when things settle down, but at the moment i just hope that you enjoyed the fluffy ending.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you enjoy our AgentCorp story, feedback and comments are always appreciated.


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